Parents are pretending to educate, and children are pretending to cope.

Today\’s parents attach great importance to their children\’s education. Parents will send their children to school when they are about 3 years old, and then they will start \”learning\” all year round. In addition to learning in kindergarten or school, there are also early education classes, dance classes, English classes, painting classes, writing classes, etc. Saturdays and Sundays are also fully scheduled. I am afraid that if I am not careful, I will not educate my children well and let my children lose at the starting line. This is the case for a parent friend. Her daughter is in third grade. She gets up at around 6 a.m. every morning to cook and clean up. It takes a long time to take her to and from school. But every day, I have to go to interest classes after school, help with homework after returning home, check in, sign in, hand in homework, etc. in various groups, and it’s already 11 or 12pm in the blink of an eye. In fact, many families are like this. They are extremely busy all day long. The mother is spinning around like a top and may explode emotionally at any time; the father is at a loss, helpless and desperate; the children live a high-pressure life and are either too sensible or too rebellious. This is the Chinese-style family education we have heard about: if the child does not work hard, the father does not contribute, and the mother uses brute force. As parents, we always try our best to provide the best resources for our children. We believe that famous schools, famous teachers, and famous tutoring are the best contributions to our children. But in fact, this kind of dedication is a kind of \”self-comfort\” and \”self-movation\”. Parents try their best but fail to make their children feel grateful. The parents pretend to teach and the children pretend to cope. Eventually, they will fall into the embarrassing situation of family education. Is it difficult to educate children? Children don\’t need education at all, they need role models. People often complain that educating children is difficult. In most cases I have seen, it is not that parents are not strict enough in disciplining their children. Most parents discipline their children with a strict attitude. As long as the child makes a little mistake, they will never miss the opportunity to educate the child. They range from talking about principles, to giving examples, to even scolding and corporally punishing children. But these methods often have little effect, so they easily become angry and think that it is too difficult to discipline their children and that the children are so unreasonable. In the end, they have to surrender and comfort themselves that \”the children will be sensible when they grow up.\” Is this scene very familiar? Yes, because we ourselves grew up in a similar environment. We just continue to use the same methods our parents used to discipline us on our children. Using this method to educate children often results in half the effort. Our personal experience as children is the best example. As children, we may be forced to obey by the authority of our parents. What children need is not control at all. Real education always starts from the parents themselves and sets a good example for their children. Children simply imitate their parents\’ behaviors and thoughts. • A parent who tells his children that reading is important, but all he does is play with his phone and watch TV shows all day long, and never reads at home; • A parent who loses his temper and criticizes his child whenever he plays with his phone, but he plays with his phone on his own A non-stop parent; • A parent who tells his children to be kind to others and not to speak ill of others behind their backs, but he always likes to make irresponsible remarks about other people\’s affairs. These are parents who cannot truly convince their children. Minister of Education Chen Baosheng once said: “The scientific concept of education is to have a good attitude towards children.reasonable expectations. That is to say, parents should do it first if they want their children to do it; they should not do it first if they want their children not to do it; they should never force their children to do anything that parents cannot do; and parents should rationally guide their children to do what their children want to do. \”Although the words are not long, they use the most straightforward language to explain the key to family education. Many times, parents\’ behaviors will be subtly imprinted on children\’s minds, eventually affecting their lives. If parents do not do a good job Role models, the intensity and effectiveness of education will be greatly compromised. What parents do is far more important than what children do. When children are still young and have not yet formed concepts of right and wrong in the world, their parents’ words and deeds are their benchmarks. Children will be influenced by what they hear and see. Children continue to imitate their parents, from their moral character to the way they do things. Over time, they will be internalized into character and habits that will accompany them throughout their lives. When children grow up, even if they can distinguish the right and wrong behavior of their parents, in most cases they will not be able to tell the difference between right and wrong. It is difficult to escape the influence of the long-term environment, and they will eventually be close to what their parents were at that time. The growth of children is an irreversible process. As caregivers of children, parents should value their role as role models, have strict requirements on themselves, and know how to learn and reflect. Correct bad habits and lead by example. Parents must do their own education before asking their children to do so. Being a parent does not mean giving up on yourself and putting all your efforts into your children. Good examples set by parents , will make children reflect on their words and deeds at any time, and constantly move closer to their parents. This is a kind of inner power drive, which can make children feel more empathetic than relying on reasoning and constant supervision. And in the process of leading by example, parents can also Always reflect on your own behavior and make constant adjustments to achieve a better parent-child relationship with your children. There are many ways to teach your children, but in the end, the best way to determine what kind of person you want your child to be is to first Become that kind of person. If you don’t love your children enough and parents don’t educate their children well, it’s because they don’t love their children enough. Why do you say this? Don’t all parents in the world love their children? Yes, think about it, if you love For something, you will be willing to spend time with it, understand it, and take care of it. But some parents actually don’t have that much patience. They just take care of their children’s needs, and then hope that their children will not make noises or cause trouble. It\’s troublesome. You don\’t want to spend time with your children, get to know them, and listen to your children. They just have to fulfill their obligations as parents. If you don\’t love your children enough, how can you educate them well? Real love , it requires time and energy, and you must be very happy to do it. However, there are also some parents who have given too much and their children are disobedient, so there is a huge gap with their expectations. Such parents Their mantra is \”I\’m all for your own good…\” Do they love their children? They love their children, but they don\’t love them enough. Their love is conditional and needs to be reciprocated by the children. Once the children fail to meet their expectations , they will feel frustrated. To educate children, firstly, they must be good role models, and secondly, they must truly love their children. Every child is unique, such asIf children can get a good family education during their childhood, it will be the most valuable asset in their lives and the greatest thing you can do for your children as a parent. In this day and age, we are no longer content to just raise our children to adulthood. 15 high-scoring baby education books recommended, which can be called life textbooks. If children do not feel the love of their parents in childhood, they will struggle to find this love throughout their lives, and will often lose themselves and even not feel the love in life. like. We are all first-time parents. It is normal to not understand family education. What is important is that parents can continue to learn and grow with their children!