A child\’s growth begins with rebellion, and parents\’ happiness begins with understanding

The so-called rebellion is just wishful thinking on the part of adults. For children, it is a sign of growth. In fact, rebellion is not a big deal, everyone has a tendency to be rebellious. For a person\’s growth, it is only temporary, and only after this temporary pain can one slowly mature and truly understand his parents\’ intentions. I once read an article titled \”Youth\”, which tells the story of a child who has just turned seventeen. His mother was only as high as his shoulder, and his father also began to look up to him. Rebellion has become his way of communicating with his parents. Finally one day, the father had a heart-to-heart conversation with the boy and asked him why he was no longer well-behaved. \”I have grown up and am no longer a chess piece controlled by you. I need to have my own life. I need to find myself…\” \”How are you going to find yourself?\” \”A bag, a compass. I need to leave your shelter, Go find your own coordinates…\” \”Then go ahead, kid. Your mother and I are waiting for your good news here.\” The father gave the boy 500 yuan. The young man left home and began his journey to find youth and himself. The boy went to a city far away from home. There are no more annoying nags from teachers and parents. Of course, there is no more constant greetings from my parents. In that bizarre city, 500 yuan was like a glass of water poured into the desert, it quickly penetrated and disappeared. Looking at the shrinking wallet, the young man thought of giving up, but when he thought of the ridicule he might receive when he returned home, he had to swallow his tears. The city is gorgeous, but the boy has a hard time finding his entrance. His growth had nothing to do with the hustle and bustle of this city. In order to survive, this young man who rarely even washed his own clothes at home began to work in some small shops. He worked hard all day just to have a hot meal and a shelter from the wind and rain – these things he once had at his fingertips but never cherished. Spring is passing and autumn is coming, and the year is passing quickly. The boy washed dishes in a restaurant, worked as a security guard in a large company, worked as a doorman in a hotel, and set up a stall in a night market… The boy\’s hands finally became calloused in the exhausting life. The young man\’s heart also follows the sunrise and sunset, and he understands the difficulty of his parents\’ life in the past and their love for him. Finally, as the New Year was approaching, the boy dialed the number he knew by heart. On the other end of the phone was my father\’s excited voice and my mother\’s sobs of joy… My father said, if you find what you want, come back. The moment he hung up the phone, the boy burst into tears. Soon he was on the train home. In the luggage, there are two more pieces of underwear bought for my parents, packed simply and beautifully. This is a sensible son who used his own hands to exchange New Year\’s gifts for his parents… The story ends here. But the boy\’s growth is still going on, and this is just a stage in his growth process. Although it is short-lived, it is the most critical. From rebellion to understanding, the heart truly grows up. Why should we be rebellious? Because children long to be recognized by the adult world, and through rebellious behavior to show the world that they have grown up and are no longer children in the eyes of their parents, and are no longer \”chess pieces\” that can be manipulated at will.\”As the age grows, children\’s physical and mental changes undergo tremendous changes. Rebellion is like a seed waiting to sprout, ready to stir deep in the child\’s body. At this time, parents must combine their own growth experiences to support , affirm and believe in children, and face your children with the attitude of \”human nature is good\”. Recommend 12 inspirational movies suitable for children to watch during the holidays. After watching them, you will naturally stop playing with your mobile phone. Most people admit that children\’s rebellion is an inevitable process in life. Just like a caterpillar cannot become a beautiful butterfly without emerging from its cocoon. However, most parents cannot be as tolerant towards their children\’s rebellion as they are towards the caterpillar: sympathize with his struggle and look forward to his growth. Parents On the contrary, I feel extremely distressed, and I am deeply afraid that this kind of rebellion will not only break the usual authority of adults, but also break the existing order of the adult world, so the question of \”what to do in the face of rebellious children\” arises. In fact, all rebellions They all come from resistance to restraints and restrictions. In addition to the physical and psychological restraints that the child faces, there are also various restrictions deliberately created by the adults around him. In the past, he was unable to realize this kind of restraints and restrictions, even if they are aware of them, they are unable to resist. As they grow older, they are gradually able to see the world clearly, and a new self is eager to try in the confusion. However, the restrictions of adults are so strict and indestructible, and growth The strength is not enough to break free from the shackles of their own physiology, psychology and knowledge. At this time, children are suffering from transformation and experiencing unprecedented confusion, so they will produce various rebellious behaviors, just to show themselves. The existence of. When we accuse children of rebellion, we also expose the root of this rebellion – the suppression evolved from over-care. It is this gentle restraint that seems to be well-intentioned, which makes the growing children at a loss. So. While blaming the child for being disobedient, you should also reflect on yourself: Have you restricted the child\’s body and mind, and have you not given the child enough space and understanding? You must know that rebellion is not an unforgivable mistake, nor is it something that cannot be done. Problems to solve. What we have to do is to help children, rather than keeping them away from their parents and families. Therefore, during this special period, what parents have to do is to observe their children, understand their true thoughts, and then stand from their children’s perspective Go help them. Many parents who have adolescent children at home will feel endless troubles, because as the children grow older, various problems will follow. At this time, they have their own ideas and no longer listen to their parents on everything. Sometimes They even contradict their parents and do all kinds of things that are unacceptable to them. Many parents often feel angry and hateful towards their children. Before this stage comes, as a parent, if you want to use superior \”authority\” to force your children to obey, then, ten Eighty-nine will make children\’s rebellious psychology even stronger, because times are changing and children are growing, and their rebellion always has its roots. Care and understanding are the beginning of finding the root of the problem and answering \”what to do\”. So. , when facing growing children, we need to completely put down the \”parents\” airs and regain ourOnly with the childlike innocence can we face the so-called rebellion. Because \”power\” cannot solve problems, let alone soothe children\’s rebellion. I have a student whose parent is a role model in this regard. She has a 19-year-old daughter. The most common thing her mother and daughter say is, \”We are friends.\” She told me that the normal communication with her daughter is equal. Sometimes there are disputes due to differences of opinion. If she later thinks that she was wrong and criticized her daughter by mistake, she will take the initiative to admit her mistake to her daughter. When her children make requests of their own, she never refuses without thinking. Even if it is a very ridiculous request, he will carefully consider it, respond and discuss it \”as a matter of fact\”, find out sufficient reasons, and let him understand the adult\’s opinion. Even if it is a very necessary request, you will still use words like \”I hope…\” or \”I suggest…\”, at least in the form of leaving room for her to be independent, so that she has room to learn, think, and reflect. . Instead of imposing your own ideas on your children. This mother is actually implementing an avant-garde educational concept, which is to treat children like adults and make them feel respected, unless they voluntarily act as children in certain circumstances. Such parents show eternal support and affirmation to their children. Especially after their children make serious mistakes, they will give them the opportunity to correct and always affirm and support their correct attitude. In our teaching of children, we must truly treat the child as another person with a person\’s attitude. Only in this way can we truly understand our children. In the process of growing up, he may not meet the maturity requirements in our minds, but it cannot be said that it is due to the child\’s disobedience. There is a story about two children who were about to grow up and asked their parents to move outside. The father of one child said, \”What\’s wrong? I can\’t accommodate you at home. Stay with me.\” The father of another child said, \”Okay! Do you need any help from me?\” Who knows, but the result was exactly the opposite. The father who opposed the child\’s move out not only failed to prevent the child from leaving the family, but also had a deep conflict with the child. Fathers who support their children\’s move out actually encourage their children to stay. The reason is that when the first child heard his father stopping him so decisively, he felt that it was not interesting to be at home and it was better to move out early. The other child was completely different. When he proposed to move out, his father not only did not stop him, but asked him what he needed. This made him feel the warmth of family affection and felt that he was actually very good at home, so he decided not to move out. . It can be seen that it is a gratifying thing for a child to have independent thoughts and desire to get rid of his dependence on his parents. It would be worrying if he relied on his parents for everything! But to understand this, we must be willing to let go of the role of parents – \”traditional authority.\” Only by temporarily breaking away from the role of parents can we face the struggles of another \”person\” with a \”human\” attitude. Many parents are also worried that this kind of education will be indulgent and allow them to do whatever they want. In fact, there is no need to worry about our children being unrestricted, asAs the previous examples show, true restraint does not necessarily require force or majesty. Sometimes, a caring greeting or a warm word can actually make the child more restrained. Because children are struggling to grow up, it is the stage when their self-concepts are being formed and their thoughts are inspired, so they are most susceptible to influence. Unfortunately, many parents always hope for immediate results, so they often use absolute suppression methods. The result is not only causing their children to rebel, but more importantly, we also give up our influence on them, causing other negative consequences. The impact can be exploited. So our children drifted away in our incomprehension. Therefore, when faced with a child\’s rebellion, the most important thing is to recognize the truth; it\’s not that who rebelled against whom, it\’s just that a stubborn child quietly \”left\” us. If he goes in the right direction, we should be optimistic about his success as a life transmitter; if he strays into the abyss of depravity, we should rush over immediately and help him get up together.