The consequences of losing control of your emotions are terrible, parents must know

A few days before the mother lost control of her emotions and killed her child, I saw a piece of news that was both sad and angry. A 6-year-old boy in Fujian tried to go to bed without washing himself. When his mother saw this, she became angry, rushed to his room, and kicked the boy in the abdomen. Later, after the boy washed up and went to bed, he suddenly felt cold all over in the early morning, and his family immediately sent him to the hospital. According to the doctor\’s diagnosis, the child had no vital signs when he was sent to the hospital, and later died after resuscitation failed. After the incident, the police determined that the child suffered multiple organ injuries (heart and lung contusion, hepatopancreatic rupture) due to blunt force violence on the abdomen, leading to death from traumatic shock. As a mother, it is really sad to see such news. People say that tiger poison cannot eat its seeds. Even if the child is at fault, the crime will not lead to death. If parents cannot be responsible for their children, why give him life? The mother may have made an unintentional mistake, but in a moment of impulse, she ruined her child\’s life. The emotions of irritable parents are like a scourge, which is destined to be a disaster that their children cannot avoid. If you think about it carefully, there are countless tragedies caused by parents losing control of their emotions. A complete set of early childhood English teaching Jam Jam English Jam English Baidu Netdisk [Video + Audio + Intensive Reading + Lesson Plan] In February 2019, a mother in Nanning quarreled with her husband. Because she could not control her emotions, she threw her son from the 31st floor, and then herself He also jumped down. In February 2019, a 35-year-old mother in Hengyang had an argument with her ex-husband on the phone the day after her divorce. In a rage, she grabbed her 4-year-old son and threw him from the fourth floor of the hotel. In July 2019, a 6-year-old girl in Hainan was beaten by her father with a belt and a clothes hanger for more than an hour because she talked back. In the end, rescue efforts failed and she died. From these examples, we can feel that many parents have strong negative emotions when getting along with their children. We know that in this world, all walks of life require special certificates to meet the standards and work, but being a parent does not require it. Just like the Japanese writer Kotaro Isaka said: \”It\’s terrible to think that you don\’t have to take an exam to be a parent.\” The harm caused to children by parents losing control of their emotions is far greater than we imagine! Parents\’ out-of-control emotions are a lifelong nightmare for children. Franklin once said: \”A person in anger is driving a crazy horse.\” When parents lose control of their emotions and ride this crazy horse, the first person to be hurt is child. The emotional faces of parents are like a poisonous thorn that penetrates directly into the child\’s young heart and becomes a nightmare that will linger throughout the child\’s life. I remember reading an interview before. Michelle Ye, who has always been warm, smiling, and positive, revealed that she was extremely crazy in love and would even self-destruct because of love. Once, in order to prove her love to a boy, she jumped into a river in the middle of the night. Even if her boyfriend cheats on her and treats her violently, she is unwilling to let him go. Some netizens couldn\’t help but sigh after seeing it: This is not love, it is simply crazy. In fact, if we take a closer look at Xuan Ye\’s family of origin, we can know that all of this has something to do with her mother. In her memory, her mother has always given her a \”stick education\”, which inadvertently had a great impact on the development of her character. Mom loves to drink, and when she gets drunkIf she drinks alcohol, she will be very aggressive and will beat her. After the mother sobered up, she regretted that she should not have done it. She hugged her daughter and cried bitterly, hoping to be forgiven by her daughter. Over time, Xuan Ye got used to her mother\’s losing control of her emotions, and mistakenly thought that love meant control, and she could do whatever she wanted. Unfortunately, she ended up living like her mother. Regardless of her personal image or work performance, she is very good, but she seems so humble emotionally. It can be seen that deep down in her heart, she lurks disapproval of herself, feeling that she is not good enough and does not deserve it. As Montessori said: Every character defect is caused by childhood misfortune. Parents\’ words and deeds have always affected their children. A friend once told me his story: My childhood can be described as miserable. The relationship between my parents has always been bad. They lose their temper at every turn and take all their anger out on me. I was beaten for not doing well in exams, scolded for coming home late, and beaten for fighting with others. Even whenever they were dissatisfied, I would slap them twice, punch and kick them, and use unpleasant swear words, which made me hate them. Moreover, they often quarreled over trivial matters. There was no peace at home, and there was rarely a quiet and warm atmosphere. Growing up, I always felt lonely, anxious, not good at communicating with others, and even a little autistic. Indeed, bad moods are like viruses that not only make you angry, but can also spread to your children and family. Anger only begets more anger! Educator Yin Jianli said: \”One third of the temper you lose towards your child will cause seventy percent harm to the child.\” Children who live in the shadow of \”emotional loss of control\” will find it difficult to feel love and warmth throughout their lives. Parents have a peaceful mood, which is the best love they can give their children. I watched a TV series \”Pi\” before and was deeply impressed by Jiang Tianhao\’s parents. When he reaches middle age and is at the peak of his career, he suddenly encounters bankruptcy. All his stores are gone and his mansion is gone. When his son Jiang Tianhao asked his parents whether the family was bankrupt and in debt, Jiang\’s father calmly said to his son: \”It\’s only more than 100 million.\” Jiang\’s mother also answered him calmly: \”It is only natural to pay back debts. These debts We will work hard to pay it back little by little.\” Faced with such a big change, the parents did not complain. Instead, they had the courage to take responsibility, educate their children with their positive, responsible, and optimistic stable emotions, and set a good example for their children. example. Under the influence of his parents, Jiang Tianhao became more sensible. He began to work harder, studying hard during the day, researching business at night, partnering with friends to open an online store, and eventually establishing his own brand, doing everything he could to relieve the pressure on his parents. Slowly, with seriousness and hard work, he quickly grew from a little boy who relied on his parents to a man who reassured his parents. Jiang Tianhao grew up so fast and could not do without the influence of his parents. As Jiang Tianhao\’s classmate said, Jiang Tianhao has a pair of emotionally stable parents. The better the parents\’ mood, the stronger the children\’s sense of security, and the higher the family\’s happiness. John Gottman, the master of interpersonal relationships, also said: The ability to perceive and control emotions is even more important than IQ. These abilities determine a person\’s achievements and happiness in all areas of society, including family happiness. Parents\’ loveEmotions play a key role in children\’s growth. After all, a child surrounded by love and warmth will know how to love others better when he grows up. Parents can do this after losing control of their emotions. It is said that the temper of the parents determines the life of the child. However, we also believe that there are no parents who do not love their children. But what should you do to control your emotions? If you don’t want your out-of-control emotions to hurt your children, parents must master these four tips. 1. Be aware of your emotions and always reflect on yourself. There is a saying that people need to be self-aware. Pay attention to whether you lose your temper. Have you often felt physically and mentally exhausted recently? What are the consequences of doing so? We can use some methods to help ourselves and clearly understand what it looks like when we lose our temper. For example, look in the mirror to see what a tantrum looks like in the mirror; when communicating with your child, use a mobile phone or voice recorder to record your own voice, and then listen carefully to see how your voice changes. 2. Research on the 12-second control method shows that extreme anger generally does not last more than 12 seconds. If you control these 12 seconds, you can control negative emotions. When you want to lose your temper, use \”stop\” to stop yourself. You can also communicate well with your children. Whenever you encounter a conflict, both parties should calm down for 12 seconds and be aware of their emotions before communicating. 3. It is normal to lose your temper by diverting your attention. What you are most afraid of is not to lose your temper. Don\’t let yourself be immersed in negative emotions. The more you think about it, the more uncomfortable you will feel. In severe cases, you may not be able to control your emotions. At this time, you can adopt some methods that can calm you, such as taking 30 deep breaths, listening to music, watching TV, or talking to friends, and do more positive and happy things. 4. Adjust emotional cognition There is an ABC theory in psychology, which means that it is not the thing itself that affects our emotions, but our cognition of the thing. For example, if it rains, some people will feel unhappy because when it rains, the roads will be muddy and it will be very inconvenient to go out. But some people feel very happy and think that the air will become fresher after raining. Different people have different opinions, so when you are emotional, you can look at the problem from multiple angles to help yourself calm down. Learn to use scientific methods to regulate your own stress and control your emotions, so that you can have a better mentality and state to raise the next generation. Reminds me of a little story. A child said to his mother: \”Mom, you are so beautiful today.\” The mother asked: \”Why?\” The child said: \”Because mom is not angry today.\” It turns out that your every word and deed will be seen by the child and will be remembered. heart. A mother who is emotionally stable and not angry is what her children like best. When raising children, you should educate yourself first, and when you educate talents, you should educate your heart first. As parents continue to grow, children can continue to grow. The process of accompanying children to grow is actually a process of parental reconstruction. Only when parents do a good job for themselves can their children live a good life. Because as a mother who came to me for consultation yesterday said: I cannot afford to lose in my child\’s life. A mother\’s love for her children has no second heart, she just doesn\’t know how to love. As the saying goes: Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you! Parents love their children deeply. Therefore, the best love for your children isIt is the stable mood of parents. The best gift for a child is high-quality companionship from parents. The best parenting for children is the growth and change of parents.