How to cultivate children with high emotional intelligence

One day, I took my daughter to play in the community. She chose the walking one among the fitness equipment and had a great time. There was a woman next to me who was also exercising leisurely. She was talking to my daughter while she was exercising. At this time, a fat little boy, who looked about 8 or 9 years old, came over. He walked straight to the lady and said, \”Come down, I want to use this.\” Faced with this sudden order, the lady was obviously surprised. She was stunned for a long time before she came to her senses and responded unceremoniously: \”I It\’s being used, won\’t you wait a moment?\” Apparently, this lady had tried her best to restrain herself and show her educated side. Signs of high emotional intelligence: Training methods to improve emotional intelligence, Preschool Psychology Book Box If you were a person with a bad temper, you would probably have to educate the child. It\’s so rude. Who would want to pay attention to this way of speaking? Although children are children, the way they speak and behave reflects their emotional intelligence to a large extent. Children with low emotional intelligence may not be taken seriously by others, but they are not so popular. When you grow up in the future, you may miss many opportunities. Children with high emotional intelligence are often loved by others. When they grow up in the future, they will be better able to seize opportunities and be more likely to succeed. Children with high emotional intelligence generally like to say the following \”mantras.\” As parents, we can also teach our children more so that they can become a child with high emotional intelligence and have a wider and smoother road in the future. \”Thank you\” Although sometimes, we don\’t necessarily expect anything in return for our efforts. But if your efforts can be seen and recognized by others, then you will feel that your efforts are worth it, and you will be more willing to continue to pay. The two words \”thank you\” may seem simple, but they contain huge power. First, it represents a response. It means that I feel your kindness and selflessness, and I respond with words to affirm your behavior. And when the giver is responded to, he can be encouraged and feel that his behavior is meaningful and contributory. He can see his own worth in this response, which improves his self-esteem. Secondly, \”thank you\” is closely connected with love and gratitude. Especially for children, if they can express their gratitude to their parents for their efforts, then they will always be grateful and will not take everything their parents do for them for granted. Children who are polite and grateful will be more popular socially and establish positive interpersonal relationships. Such a child will make people willing to help him and lead a broader life. \”You look like…\” Everyone has a certain degree of \”centering\” and likes to look at problems from their own perspective. For example, a friend encounters difficulties, becomes depressed, and feels depressed. We comforted him, \”It\’s not a big deal,\” \”Cheer up, you\’ll be fine soon,\” \”There\’s no need to be sad about this little thing.\” These words seemed to be comforting, but in fact, they didn\’t have much effect at all. Because these comforting words belong to \”emotional negation\” in psychology. These words may seem effective, but in the eyes of the other party, they are a denial of their true feelings. This kind of communication is not only difficult to achieve effective cooperation, but will also encounter \”emotional resistance.\” We have never experienced what happened to our friends, so naturally we feelThink this is a \”little thing\”, no big deal. But these things really put my friend into trouble and disturbed his mood. His emotions were not empathized or understood by others. Even if he said \”it\’s not a big deal\” ten thousand times, he would not get better and would only feel that others did not understand him. Therefore, if we can understand other people\’s emotions and be on the same channel as them, others will be more willing to trust and get close to us. When children encounter other people\’s unhappy situations in social interactions, we try to let them identify other people\’s emotions and say more, \”You look unhappy/angry/sad…\” from the book \”Emotional Trap\” \”You look + emotion word\” is called \”emotion tag\”. Emotional markers can make the other person feel understood and respected, making them more willing to talk about their difficulties calmly. Moreover, the behavior of a person in emotion will be controlled by the lower brain (primitive brain). After being marked by emotions, the upper brain (rational brain) begins to control his behavior. At this time, it is easier for him to solve problems through cooperation with the listener. . Psychologist Douglas Noll summarized common emotions into six categories: anger, fear, anxiety, disgust, pain (shame, humiliation), and abandonment (the feeling of not being loved). By communicating with children on a daily basis, we can feel and identify these emotions of children and try to label them. This technique can also be taught to children, allowing them to feel the power of emotions and train their emotional intelligence. For example, if we see other children unhappy, we can also ask the children, how do you think that child feels? Such expressions and questions can make children more sensitive to emotions and easier to empathize with others. They can also continuously improve their emotional intelligence and make themselves more attractive. \”We\” psychology research has found that people who often say \”I\” generally pay more attention to their own feelings and needs and pay less attention to the existence of others. But people who often say \”we\” are more likely to distance themselves from others, making others unconsciously treat you as a friend or a member of a group. When many children are playing with other children, they will keep saying \”I\”, \”This is my toy\”, \”I don\’t like it\”, \”I don\’t want it\”… Keep saying \”I\”, which will make the children think of themselves. Exclusion from others and thus isolation. And often say \”we\”, such as let\’s play this together, let\’s play games together, let\’s look at this together. These words will make children more likely to be accepted. Children who often say \”I\” will unknowingly be self-centered and will not be liked by others when they grow up. Children who often say \”we\” will give people a sense of belonging and make them more willing to get close and cooperate. Such children will be more popular and more likely to have good interpersonal relationships in the future. \”Please\” once went to a friend\’s house to play, and his son was watching TV on the sofa. When a child is thirsty, he says to his friend, \”water\” without even raising his head. When the friend heard this, he poured water for the child without saying a word. The child didn\’t even move his eyelids, reached out to catch the water, drank it, and then handed the water glass directly to his friend\’s hand. During the whole process, I felt like my friend was like a nanny, doing everything as he should. nowMost of the children are taken care of by their parents. As soon as they ask, their parents will definitely meet their needs. This also leads to children feeling that everything their parents do is natural. This will make them forget basic courtesy when facing help from others. Sometimes my daughter will behave like this. She wants to put on shoes and just shouts, \”Dad, get me shoes.\” I would correct her, \”You can take it yourself. If you want my help, say \’please\’.\” The daughter will feel embarrassed and say again, \”Dad, please help me get my shoes.\” If we can teach children polite words in life, such as \”trouble\”, \”please\”, \”excuse me\”, etc., then children will naturally use such polite words when they need help from others in social interactions. Just like the boy mentioned above, if he could say to the lady, I\’m sorry, I want to play with this too, can you please let me play with it later? I believe that the lady will not refuse and is willing to cooperate. Children who are willing to say these words are actually a sign of high emotional intelligence. His politeness and upbringing will make people feel comfortable and willing to comply with his requests. Only such children will be able to deal with things more smoothly and encounter fewer obstacles in the future. Children\’s emotional intelligence can be slowly learned in the environment. In the process of raising a child, we can consciously guide him to become a child with high emotional intelligence. After entering society, it will be easier for him to succeed and his life will be smoother.