Will beating and scolding children make them stupid?

A few days ago, I hit her again. I was washing dishes at the sink, and my daughter was one meter away, holding a ballpoint pen and scratching the millet in the grocery bag on the cabinet. I watched the grains of millet falling on the floor, and the words \”wasting food\” and \”cleaning up trouble\” were all complained to me. Suddenly, I was angry from my chest and angry from my forehead. I stepped forward, picked up her hand, and snapped Hit him hard several times. My daughter cried \”Don\’t hit me\” and continued to play with millet. I was so angry that I hit her on the back of her hand again. She didn\’t say anything and continued to play with millet quickly and vigorously like revenge. I was stunned and suddenly realized. That weak child was protesting decisively. I, who is stronger than my children, should be ashamed. Because of my laziness and incompetence, when my children make mistakes and get into trouble, I will only respond simply and rudely. How wrong I am. Beating and scolding is because we are angry that our children are weak. When children make mistakes, cause trouble, and cause trouble for us, they bear the brunt of anger, followed by beatings and scoldings. They mistakenly think that beatings and scoldings are fast, accurate and severe, but in fact they are not. In \”Hello Prosecutor\”, Li Mingqi\’s father often beat and scolded him out of anger. When Li Mingqi was accused of bullying his classmates at school, his father first yelled: \”You are causing trouble for me all the time and wasting my time.\” The child was frightened into submission and tried his best to obey. When the case escalated, the father became so angry that he threw the document in his hand at Li Mingqi. When he was agitated, he picked up the cup and smashed it, then raised his foot to kick him. The action was all done in one go. The child was so frightened that he could not dodge. This scene made the onlookers feel sad. plug. Once again, his father beat Li Mingqi and roared angrily: \”I\’m busy making money, so you\’re going to mess with me.\” Li Mingqi finally fought back: \”I would rather stay in jail than stay at home and let you beat me. \”In the end, Li Mingqi bullied his classmates at school, causing his classmates to commit suicide, and he himself was severely punished. In the end, the father\’s apology seemed as light as a feather in front of his son\’s big mistake, and his regret was written on his face. In fact, beating and scolding is the most useless and incompetent way of education. Must-read parenting books for parents recommend psychological adjustment in children\’s families. Download Beating and scolding children may make children admit their mistakes and give in, but these are superficial and temporary. If parents do not let their children realize the truth of their mistakes, the mistakes cannot be corrected. In the end, It will only lead to big mistakes. Beating and scolding come from anger, and you dare to vent your anger on your children. Because the children are weak, the parents are condescending and bully the weak, and they cannot win with force. The result of beating and scolding is useless and only brings harm. I watched a video that made people dumbfounded. A little boy cried and suggested to his parents with sincere words: \”You hit me so many times and I don\’t obey. It must be that hitting is useless. Criticism should be useful. You should give it a try. Give it a try.\” Beating and scolding the child Children, as the parties involved, know the efficacy best. The two main characteristics of beating and scolding education are: 1. The result of beating and scolding is useless. Educator Haim Ginot said: \”Punishment cannot stop bad behavior, it can only make criminals become more careful when committing crimes. When a child is punished, he will secretly make up his mind to be more careful in the future instead of being honest and responsible.\” Spanking and scolding are meant to correct mistakes, but spanking and scolding will only make children worse. fall intoIn fear, in order to resist fear, you will try your best to cover up your mistakes, avoid being beaten or scolded, and be unable to correct your mistakes. If you encounter mistakes in the future, you will only try your best to hide them and dare not admit them, making it even harder to correct them. 2. Spanking and scolding can only do harm. American parent-child communication experts Adele Farber and Elaine Mazlisch have found that compared to spanking and scolding children, telling them objective facts will help them grow better. The method is to use \”fear\” to drive children to change themselves. It may be useful at first, but if a child is afraid for a long time, two extremes may occur: one is not caring about other people\’s feelings, which is rebellion; the other is excessive concern about other people\’s feelings, which is low self-esteem and sensitivity. Even though children are young, they still have self-esteem and need to be cared for. Beating and scolding that trample on self-esteem will only make children weak or rebellious, turning them from being bullied to bullying others. Some people say: Education through beating and scolding is a method that even cats and dogs would not use. Those parents who beat and scold their children will only gain the alienated hearts of their children in the end. As time goes by, only indifferent branches remain on the withered parent-child tree. Parents who refuse to beat or scold can do this in front of their parents. Children are naturally weak and we cannot rely on the strong to bully the weak. Parents should be role models for their children in life, rather than being the shadow of children who only have rough beatings and scoldings in their memory. 1. Empathy Zhang He said in \”Goodbye Lover\”: \”My son is almost ten years old now, and I have never touched him.\” Because he was often beaten by his father since he was a child, he understands how serious the pain is. So I don’t want the trauma I suffered to continue to happen to my children. If we have ever been beaten by our parents and experienced hurt feelings, we should understand how much spanking and scolding hurt our children, so we should try to avoid it; if we have not experienced spanking, walked through a happy childhood, and have grown up to this day, we will We should strive to create a good memory for our children and establish a stable and healthy parent-child relationship. The fear and heartache of being beaten and scolded by the closest parents is beyond words. If possible, we should not let the people we love most in our children\’s eyes become a black hole in their hearts that they dare not touch throughout their lives. 2. Be tolerant and turn mistakes into treasures. When a child breaks a bowl, spills milk, or wets the bed, we are used to scolding or even beating him, because these are all troubles and will make us unhappy. But after venting, What does the child gain besides fear? American scientist Stephen told a story: When he was a child, he took the milk from the refrigerator but failed to take it properly. It fell to the ground and the milk was scattered all over the floor. When his mother saw it, she did not beat or scold him. She even said, \”Wow, the trouble you caused is really great.\” \”Awesome, I\’ve never seen such a big puddle of milk. Well, the bottle has been broken anyway. Do you want to play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?\” He was very happy and played in the milk. He got up, and a few minutes later, his mother asked him: \”How are you going to clean up? I can use a sponge, a towel or a mop to clean, which one do you want to use?\” He chose a sponge and worked with his mother to clean up the milk on the floor. Cleaned up. Finally, his mother said to him: \”Your experiment of picking up a big milk bottle with two little hands has failed. Now go to the backyard, fill the bottle with water, and see if there is any other way to pick it up?\” Then he discovered OnlyGrasp the top of the bottle with both hands, near the mouth, so the bottle doesn\’t fall to the floor. When a child makes a mistake, beating and scolding is like drinking poison to quench thirst. Correct guidance is a wise move. \”How to Hug a Hedgehog\” says: \”Negative experiences do not necessarily lead to negative experiences. On the contrary, they often allow children to learn positive experiences and lessons.\” Failure is the mother of success, mistakes It is the cornerstone of the right path. Only through correct understanding and timely guidance from parents can children avoid making the same mistakes again and again and embark on the right path. Why do parents always get angry and beat their children when they make mistakes? It\’s just because parents have conditional love for their children. We only love children who are cute, well-behaved, obedient, and worry-free. But ask yourself, are we the ideal parents in the eyes of our children? The child loves us as always, but because his love for us is always unconditional. Children cannot choose their parents, but parents can work hard to be good role models and educate excellent children. The writer Sienkiewicz said: \”If every child can have a gentle hand to guide him forward, instead of kicking him in the chest, then education can better fulfill its mission.\” May the children Everyone is lucky enough to embrace the warm hands of their parents. I hope parents are willing to extend that warm love and help their children grow better.