How to teach children about frustration

Once, my child and I were invited to attend his friend’s birthday party. The birthday boy excitedly performed a newly learned magic trick for everyone, but it failed. The children laughed. The birthday boy looked embarrassed, with tears in his eyes. At this time, his mother walked up to the child with an embarrassed look on her face and said, \”It\’s okay, it\’s just that I didn\’t do it well. There\’s nothing to cry about!\” But the little birthday boy still couldn\’t stop sobbing. The mother pulled the child aside and said to him with a cold face: \”A man cannot cry. You have invited so many friends here. It is so embarrassing to cry! If you don\’t behave well today, there will be no birthday parties again.\” As soon as she finished speaking, we heard the birthday girl burst into tears! Usually, parents will suppress the so-called \”gaffe\” reactions of their children in front of others in order to protect their own face. They will first show discomfort, sadness or embarrassment, and deliberately ignore the child\’s emotions, hoping that the big problem will be made small. Some parents even punish their children for crying. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Children’s Mind e-book download American psychologist Professor Eisenberg believes that these are unsupportive responses from parents to their children’s negative emotions, which will not help their children regulate their emotions. , can also cause children to lose control of their emotions and aggravate the impact of frustration on children. When a child is frustrated, what can parents do to alleviate his negative emotions? Pay attention to children\’s emotions and comfort and resolve their negative emotions. For example, in the above scenario, if I were the mother of a birthday girl, I might step forward and touch the child\’s head, or hold his hand, comfort the child with physical contact, and whisper with a smile: \”No child knows this magic.\” Whatever it should look like in the end, your performance will be wonderful.\” Then, he can use his own wisdom to resolve the embarrassment at the time, or insert some humorous clips, or let the children distribute candies to the children, etc., so that he can win everyone again love. Encourage children to express their emotions. Our culture tends to ignore and suppress children\’s emotional expression. What we are most accustomed to say is \”boys should be strong and not cry.\” In the long run, children will develop the bad habit of suppressing negative emotions, which may increase the risk of internalizing problems (such as depression) or externalizing problems (such as aggression). risks of. When we are alone with our children, we can encourage them to express their frustrations by chatting with them and reenacting the situation, and teach them how to express their emotions correctly. For example, we can teach children to take deep breaths when they are sad or angry, express their embarrassing feelings in words, etc. Analyze the problem with your child and explore solutions. As parents, we must not only think about how to resolve current problems, but also help and guide our children to learn to avoid the same problems in the future. Therefore, we can review the scene with our children and analyze why we did not do it well this time. For example, was this failure due to a problem with the magic materials or because I didn’t practice enough? Or is it because there are too many people that it’s a bit nervous and that affects the performance? Then, work with your child to think of a solution to the problem: If it is a problem with magic materials, use a few more before the performance next time.times, familiarize yourself with the material; if you haven’t practiced enough, you can practice harder; if you are nervous when there are too many people, perform more at similar activities to improve your courage… In short, you must break through the problems one by one to ensure that you encounter such a problem again next time Things are looking good. In this process, the most important thing is not to let the child stop eating due to choking, and this will affect the assessment of his own abilities and value. CCTV Recommendation: More than 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries are recommended. Children who watch the pattern explode and are addicted to self-discipline. When children encounter setbacks, their parents’ unsupportive reactions may become an accelerator of setbacks, affecting their emotions and even their self-understanding and self-esteem. Evaluations have a negative impact. Supportive responses will serve as a buffer for setbacks, helping the child reduce the negative impact of setbacks as much as possible, and at the same time empower the child, giving him the ability and confidence to bravely deal with setbacks he may encounter in the future.