What to do if your child lacks internal drive

I have a niece who has been sensible and obedient since she was a child, and has a good relationship with her parents. However, there is a problem, that is, she has never been interested in studying and becomes irritable when it comes to studying. For this reason, the family used all kinds of tricks. For example, if she did well in the exam, she would be rewarded with a certain amount of money. If she still did the same, she would be sent back to her hometown. However, she remained motionless. How to get your children to say goodbye to procrastination? 15 Lessons on Efficient Time Management to Stimulate Children\’s Drive mp3 [Tools + Methods + Concepts] There are many children in this situation. If they are not interested in learning, then, whether you are here to teach hard or to give soft, They just don\’t want to act. At most, they are just squirming a little bit driven by \”pressure\”. It is simply more difficult to get them to study consciously and actively! In fact, there are very few children who are born with a conscious love for learning. The root cause is that the inner drive of those children has been fully stimulated. Children with intrinsic drive are interested in knowledge, learning, and answering questions. They will take the initiative to think, consciously arrange learning tasks, and gain a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in learning. Children who lack internal drive are like \”an old ox pulling a cart to pieces\”. Parents and teachers urge and \”crack the whip\” from behind before they are willing to move forward. They are passive in learning and thinking. For such children, even in elementary school and junior high school, due to the simple knowledge and the supervision of parents and teachers, their grades are acceptable. However, when they reach higher stages such as high school and university, the knowledge is more, deeper and more difficult, and passive learning cannot cope with it. Yes, a sharp decline in grades is an inevitable result. What is internal drive? The definition of internal drive: It is an internal state of arousal or tension based on needs, which manifests as an internal power that promotes organismal activities to satisfy needs. To put it more simply, it means that I am missing something. Without this thing, I will feel very uncomfortable. This sense of lack will push me to do something. For example, I am very poor now and I need money. In order to get money, there will be a force that pushes me to do things, and this force is internal driving force. Someone said, is it necessary to study this? Of course! But learning is a high-level need. Only when the underlying physiological needs, safety needs, belonging needs, and esteem needs are satisfied, will learning and self-actualization needs arise. The reason is very simple. If a person has problems with food and clothing, and his safety cannot be guaranteed, then it would be a bit nonsense for you to talk to him about studying. Therefore, the prerequisite for awakening the inner driving force of learning is to first satisfy the needs of the bottom layer. What are the benefits of intrinsic drive? We have all heard the saying: \”Carrot and stick\”. This sentence means that if you are obedient, then I will reward you; if you are disobedient, then I will punish you. Rewards and punishments are actually a kind of driving force, but they are external driving forces. Compared with internal driving forces, external driving forces have the following problems: they are not sustainable. The biggest problem with rewards and punishments is that they have The child may act when there is, but when it does not, the child will immediately stop acting. The transfer of responsibilities cannot be achieved. We know that learning is a child’s business.Love is also the responsibility of children. However, rewards and punishments can easily shift this responsibility to parents. The child will feel that learning is for his parents, so it is conceivable that his involvement will not be high. The half-life is too short. In layman\’s terms, if parents regard rewards and punishments as bargaining chips, the chips will soon become ineffective. You need to constantly increase your stakes to continue to promote your children\’s learning. Then the problem arises. There will always be times when you cannot satisfy your children, and what should you do then? Compared with external driving forces, the benefits of internal driving forces are obvious. With a higher degree of participation, the child will think that learning is his own business and his own responsibility. Therefore, he will devote himself voluntarily. He does not care about any rewards or punishments. He just wants to do it from the bottom of his heart. Action is more lasting. Because the child regards learning as something to meet his own needs, he will continue to act, because the characteristic of learning is that the more he learns, the more ignorant he becomes, and the more he learns, the more devoted he is. The child will continue to explore new knowledge and continue to Difficult challenges. There is a greater sense of achievement, and since there is no need for rewards and punishment chips, once a child makes a breakthrough, he will feel great inside and enjoy the joy of success even more. How to awaken children\’s inner drive for learning? For parents, if you want to cultivate a child who is proactive and able to manage learning well, the focus is to stimulate the child\’s interest in learning and arouse the child\’s sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in acquiring knowledge, solving problems, and making progress. In short, it is to stimulate children\’s inner drive. 1. Don’t be the overseer of your child’s learning. Let him take responsibility for his own affairs. For example, if he forgets to write down his homework for a certain subject this time, he will find a way to copy it down next time to avoid forgetting. Only by delegating power and giving more opportunities and space for children to manage themselves can parents truly take responsibility for their own learning and think more about and gain their own valuable experience. 2. Set rules and cultivate habits. When children are in elementary school, set corresponding rules, such as doing homework first and then playing, checking homework carefully after finishing it, packing school bags every night before going to bed, etc. Developing good habits from the beginning, and letting parents slowly let them go will be more conducive to the cultivation of children\’s consciousness and self-management abilities. 3. Set appropriate goals for children. Learning is a long-term matter. Children without goals are easy to lose their way, slack off and give up. Appropriate goals will give children more motivation to work hard; the sense of joy after reaching the goals will give children a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence, further encouraging them to work hard and constantly surpass themselves. The setting of goals needs to be based on the child\’s own learning situation. It is best to \”jump and reach\”. 4. Adults who know how to leave blank space should have this experience. Only by working hard to improve efficiency and completing the tasks at hand, can the time after get off work belong to you and be freely used. If you have to work overtime after get off work and the tasks are never completed, you will not be so motivated to consciously do the work well, and you will always think about procrastination. The same is true for children. If parents arrange their children\’s learning tasks too full, they go to one cram school after another, and after completing their homework, they still have to do extra homework assigned by the parents.Doing homework for a long time will make children physically and mentally exhausted. The child thinks, \”Anyway, after I finish writing this, there are still a lot of things waiting for me, and I can\’t play with them, so I\’ll just drag them on slowly.\” Therefore, they develop the bad habit of dilly-dallying and being passive. Therefore, when it comes to children\’s studies, parents should leave their children some free time, homework, cram schools, and interest classes should be appropriate, and give their children some time at their disposal. Whether it is playing, relaxing, or being bored, it is a kind of rest and nourishment for the child\’s brain, so that the child has time to think and new things can enter the brain. Many children seem to be studying all the time, but their efficiency is low and their learning effects are poor. In fact, they lack blank time and lack of processing and thinking of knowledge. Do the above points well and stimulate your children\’s inner drive. You will find that educating your children is much easier.