People’s Daily: How to make children’s luck better and better

There are always mothers around us who complain: \”Why do I pay so much, but my children are still not as good as I want?\” Some of them cut off their social and leisure life and put all their energy into their children, but their children become more and more disobedient. ; Some people frugally buy the best schoolbags and beautiful dresses for their children, only to be rejected by their children. Dr. Lin Wencai said: \”If you raise your children to have disheveled hair, you must have raised them wrong.\” In fact, as the soul of a family, the secret recipe for a mother to educate her children well is not to give her all selflessly, but to love herself first . So, what can mothers do to love themselves well and lead their children to grow up healthily? \”People\’s Daily\” gave 9 suggestions that are worthy of reference by all mothers. Stop Excessive Anxiety The \”China Mothers\’ Anxiety Index Report\” shows that among those born in the 1970s to the 1990s, the proportion of \”anxious mothers\” exceeded 50%, with mothers born in the 1980s as high as 67%. There are many mothers around me who say: Their children’s childhood can’t be repeated, so they have to be perfect, for fear that they won’t do enough. Today, I study various parenting books and strive to let my children eat the best, wear the best, and use the best. I will enroll my children in various remedial classes and interest classes tomorrow, for fear that my children will lose at the starting line. However, this kind of anxiety will not only consume your own energy, but will also be continuously transmitted to your children. As Zhou Guoping said: Parents\’ anxiety is the heaviest burden on their children. An anxious mother will never raise happy and prosperous children. In this case, it is better for mothers to relax themselves, calm down, and give their children a chance to grow up happily and unhurriedly in their own time zone. [Children’s Literacy Paradise Artifact for Connecting Children to Young Children] Download the complete set of the animation called Literacy Adventure [1080P Ultra HD] Stop attacking yourself. Are you very familiar with the following words: “It’s all because of my negligence that the child got sick.” “I don’t I should be angry with him, I am really not a good mother.\” Some time ago, Zhu Dan shared his daily life on Weibo, saying that the whole family was infected with the new crown virus. It was a perfectly normal thing, but she fell into deep self-blame and cried a lot about it. Because she felt that she did not do a good job of disinfection, which led to the infection of the elderly and children. Yes, after becoming mothers, we always worry that we have not done well enough and have treated our children and family badly. But no one is perfect, not even being a mother. Making mistakes accidentally, losing your temper occasionally, being unable to fulfill your child\’s wishes… these are all perfectly normal. Never fall into guilt, self-blame, or even self-deprecation because you are not good enough. An optimistic, relaxed mother who occasionally has minor problems is much cuter than a tense mother who pursues perfection in everything. Refuse to blindly compare. There is a sentence in \”Camus\’ Notes\”: \”The reason why we suffer is because of comparison.\” After becoming mothers, we always unknowingly enter the trap of comparison: comparing with children, compared with husbands, compared with families… … In \”Come on, Mom\”, Qin Wei and her husband are both college students from rural areas. They have average economic conditions and live in a rented house with their daughter. But an accidental opportunityLater, Qin Wei met a group of rich ladies, and her vanity began to expand rapidly. When other people\’s children were talented, she forced her daughter to learn piano and sent her daughter to an expensive kindergarten; when other people\’s husbands had successful careers, she complained that her husband was not motivated and forced her husband to work multiple jobs at the same time. With each passing day, I not only lost myself, but also turned the originally happy little family into a mess. \”The Weakness of Human Nature\” says: \”Many of the troubles in life come from blindly comparing ourselves with others and forgetting to enjoy our own life.\” Comparing everything with others will only neglect one\’s own happiness and fall into the gap of comparison. Inextricable. Those mothers who are truly happy often know how to focus on the present, know how to be content and enjoy the pleasure and beauty in front of them. Praise yourself often. My friend Jiajia is the most relaxed and bright mother I have ever seen. She has to go to work during the day and take care of her child under 2 years old at night. The hardship and triviality are self-evident. But every time we meet, she always has a smile on her face. Her secret is – to learn to make yourself happy, the most important thing is to affirm yourself more. I can not only stick to my career, but also accompany my children to grow up, which is great for me! I am so beautiful today, and my baby will be proud to have such a beautiful mother like me. …A mother must affirm herself from the bottom of her heart before she can give birth to love and joy. In this way, you can not only bring positive power to your children, but you can also shine on the stage of life. Cultivate Positive Thinking I read a message from a reader: After giving birth to a baby, she chose to become a stay-at-home mother. But after raising her baby at home for 7 years, she completely fell out of touch with society. Apart from eating, sleeping, and raising children, I don’t know what else I can do, so I often fall into depression. In fact, whether you are a stay-at-home mother or a working mother, it is a choice based on the present. To avoid anxiety and emotional internal conflict, mothers must learn to cultivate positive thinking: observe the beautiful things in life and record them in the form of words, photos, etc.; try to set aside some alone time for yourself every week, put down your mobile phone, and Stay away from the children, ask friends to go shopping together, eat your favorite food, and relax wholeheartedly; read more, study more, and never give up thinking and self-growth. Only by washing away the tedious trivialities of life and remaining optimistic and positive can we nourish ourselves and illuminate our children\’s lives. Seek help appropriately. A netizen talked about his own experience. When she first gave birth to her baby, she was determined to be the best mother possible. Therefore, from the time the child was born, she had to do everything herself, whether it was bathing the child, changing diapers, feeding, or making complementary foods. Finally one day, due to long-term lack of sleep and the noisy baby, she collapsed and called her mother crying. After her mother received the call, she rushed to her side immediately and complained about why she didn\’t call her to help earlier. Only then did she realize that there was no need for her to handle raising a baby by herself. In fact, my mother is also a mother for the first time and needs the love and care of others. When necessary, mothers can seek help from family members, such as the child\’s father, grandparents, or grandparents. To know,Taking care of children is not just the responsibility of the mother. A mother who is relaxed and at ease will not only have enough energy to provide high-quality companionship to her children, but will also be able to appreciate the happiness of being a mother. Give yourself patience. Many mothers want to return to normal life as soon as possible after giving birth. For example, restoring the previous figure, regaining the past career, realizing self-worth… In \”Our Marriage\”, stay-at-home mother Shen Huixing is determined to return to the workplace. In order to balance work and family, she turned into a \”time management master\” and traveled between work and home every day. No matter how hard it was, she had to work hard to support her. One day after work, she had just finished cooking for her children. Before she could even take a bite, the two children started fighting in the living room and threw the bowls and chopsticks on the floor. Tired and aggrieved, she finally broke down, lost her temper at her children, and had deep doubts about her original choice. In fact, every mother\’s return is a challenge. No one can achieve it overnight. She has done a great job. There is a German proverb: Patience is a bitter plant, but its fruit is very sweet. As long as the mother gives herself a little more time, a little patience, and a little effort, I believe everything will get better slowly. There is a good saying about cultivating hobbies: \”Embrace yourself in a mediocre life.\” If a mother devotes all her energy to her family and is no longer curious about the world and no longer loves life, she will only live like a pool of stagnant water. , without any ripples. Only by cultivating one or two hobbies for yourself can you regain the joy of life. Actor Liu Mintao once lived a life of restraint and boredom in a failed marriage. Later, after ending this marriage, she chose to be herself and enjoy life as much as she wanted: skiing, painting, and traveling around the world… Her confidence, independence, and chicness not only made her life a light, but also illuminated her life. my daughter\’s life. When a mother has a hobby, she can carve out a spiritual paradise of her own in addition to the daily daily necessities of food, rice, oil and salt. It will illuminate your life and let you know that you are not only a mother and a wife, but also yourself. Take good care of your body. Do you still remember Dr. Yu Juan from Fudan University? When she was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, her son was less than 2 years old. During that time, every time she came back from chemotherapy and saw her lovely son, she couldn\’t help but burst into tears: \”I couldn\’t bear to part with this chubby baby who just learned to call \’mom\’ the most. I even thought about it, even if it caused me too much pain to I live like a paralyzed person every day, lying on the crossroads with dirty clothes; as long as I can watch my parents holding Tudou\’s hand and jumping to kindergarten, I am also willing.\” But God did not fulfill her wish, and she In the end, he left this world with infinite attachment to his son. As a mother, not being able to grow up with her children is probably the biggest regret in the world. Ever since we became mothers, we have always been tempted to sacrifice ourselves for our children and our families. However, what we should do most is to take care of our bodies and live healthily. Because behind us are young children, accompanying lovers, and elderly parents. A mother\’s good health is her responsibility to her family and is also the greatest blessing for a family. There is such a story in the book \”The Little Prince\”Sentence: Every adult was once a child. In the same way, every mother was once an innocent, romantic, beautiful and smiling girl. No matter where you are, before loving your children, I hope you learn to love yourself first; before you nourish others, I hope you learn to enrich yourself first. A mother who loves and pampers herself unconditionally is her child\’s greatest luck and the best education for her child. Click \”Like\” and hope every mother can achieve a better version of herself and hold her child\’s hand to go into the vast world together.