What are the benefits of raising a child like a snail?

\”I don\’t want to be your mother. Let\’s find a younger, more beautiful, and more patient mother.\” \”When my mother said this, her heart was bleeding…\” This is a conversation between mother and daughter, Source host Li Xiaomeng, the cause is her daughter’s procrastination. But in reality, which mother has never collapsed over the problem of her child\’s friction? For example, I am a walking human accelerator every day: It’s been half an hour, how come I only speak two words? Why are you still watching TV? It\’s 8 o\’clock… it\’s 9 o\’clock… it\’s already 11 o\’clock! ! ! That child learned piano at the same time as you, and he has already started taking exams. How come you can\’t even play a complete piece of music well? Since becoming a mother, the word I have spoken most often is: Hurry! hurry up! Hurry up! But no matter how hysterical I am, my son always looks lazy: \”Mom, I\’m already very fast, can you stop urging me?\” During the countless moments when my son is dilly-dallying, procrastinating, and disobedient, I feel \”heartbroken\” \”, roaring in despair: \”Why is my child as slow as a snail?\” CCTV recommended over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries. After watching the pattern, the child became addicted to self-discipline. I picked up the urging whip over and over again, but with little effect. In the end, the pain is on the child and the fatigue is on my heart. Until I accidentally read the prose poem \”Leading a Snail for a Walk\” by Taiwanese writer Zhang Wenliang: God gave me a task and told me to lead a snail for a walk. I can\’t walk too fast, the snail has tried its best to crawl, always moving a little bit every time. I urged it, I bluffed it, I scolded it, and the snail looked at me apologetically, as if to say: \”I have tried my best!\” I pulled, I pulled, and I even wanted to kick it. The snail was injured, and it Sweating and panting, I crawled forward… \”Oh God! Why?\” The sky was quiet. Could it be that I made a mistake? ! It turns out that God asked the snail to lead me for a walk. After reading it, I cried. I chased my children away like rabbits, but God’s original intention was for me to raise them like snails! After raising my children like snails, I finally realized that it is the nature of children to dilly-dally. Nothing but respect. After understanding this, I became a Buddhist, calmer, and my temper became better and better. Every time I ask three times: Have you done your homework? Did you play the piano? Have you memorized the text? My son always looked at me with a confused look on his face: \”Not yet.\” 20 minutes later, he sat in front of the piano, holding his homework and textbooks, and looked even more confused: \”Mom, which one should I do first?\” Some research has found that, Children\’s brains are not yet fully developed, and their memory and understanding need to be improved. Therefore, when faced with a series of instructions from his parents, his first reaction is not \”I should hurry up\”, but \”Which one should I do?\” This is why: the more you push your child, the slower she will go. Since I raised my child like a snail, I have grasped the trick: \”This hour, you will do your homework.\” \”This afternoon, you will just practice the piano.\” Under a single instruction, my son\’s concentration became stronger Now, the efficiency has become higher; in an environment without urging, my son is no longer frightened and is more interested in learning. Once, I read a story shared by a psychiatrist on the Internet: A mother brought her daughter to see a doctor, and her words were full of anxiety: The child is in sixth grade and has to go to school.She has difficulty concentrating and is struggling with homework, and she is worried that her child has ADHD. As a result, after some conversations and tests, the doctor found that everything was normal with the little girl and there were no obvious problems with her abilities in all aspects. As for academic performance, they are all above 90 points. The mother was obviously not very satisfied with the result and still stubbornly sought treatment from the doctor. The psychiatrist had no choice but to reveal the truth: \”If you think there is a problem with your child, the problem may not lie with the child, but with you.\” The doctor said helplessly: Parents often bring their children who they think are \”slow\” to see a doctor. Even just in kindergarten. The doctor asked: \”How long can the child listen to when reading?\” One mother replied: \”The child\’s ability to accept is very poor, only 10 minutes.\” The doctor said: \”It is normal if you can last for 5 minutes. How long do you want to pursue?\” Where\’s the time?\” Isn\’t it very worrying? Yes, as parents, we have been judging fast and slow by our own standards. However, the speed in a child’s small world should not be defined by us. There is a sentence in \”Dear Andre\” that says: \”We owe our children a \’slow education\’. Parents should understand that treating the rhythm of their children\’s growth correctly is respect for life.\” Indeed, when we dislike our children While dawdling, have you ever thought: Every child has his own growth pattern. Since raising my children like snails, I have completely given up running, jumping, and chasing, and have chosen to respect the \”crawling\” in my children\’s small world. Perceiving the child\’s growth rhythm, I discovered that he made slight progress every day. Raising children like snails forces me to give up comparison: other people’s children are rabbits, and mine are snails. There is no comparison at all. When I gave up comparison, I felt my confusion was lifted and my anxiety disappeared. Take piano learning as an example. My son’s acceptance is indeed very poor. On the same day he entered the training class, Zhang’s mother had already shown off in her circle of friends that her child could play the song “Only Mom is the Best in the World.” As for my child, the teacher said the most: \”Mom, your child should practice quickly…\” I vented all my resentment on the child: \”Why are you so stupid? Others can do it. Yes, you can\’t do it?\” The child held back tears and lowered his head. Later, I enrolled my son in a roller skating class, and this time his performance was surprising. In just a few days, my son mastered the ropes and became a dominant player on the field. In this matter, my son doesn\’t need anyone to urge him at all. Every time he arrives at the right time, he will even turn around and say, \”Mom, can you hurry up? You\’re almost late.\” A very simple truth: a ruler is short, an inch is long. , not every child is a rabbit, and the despised snail also has its own shining points. Reminds me of another article that went viral on the Internet: \”My scumbag son, my mother believes that you are here to repay your kindness.\” My mother has a master\’s degree and my father has a doctorate. They wanted their son to become a talented person, but they were slapped in the face: \”My son\’s academic performance It’s just not good”. In order to improve her son\’s academic performance, the mother tried every means: enrolling in classes, hiring one-on-one tutors, and answering math Olympiad questions for her son for tutoring… The result was just the opposite. Her son\’s health deteriorated due to staying up late, and he wore myopia glasses in the fourth grade. . \”I must notIf you don’t accept this reality, my child does have mediocre qualifications. \” Putting aside comparisons and anxiety, my mother discovered more and more of her son\’s advantages: he likes to study cooking, is kind-hearted, and knows how to be grateful… \”I was suddenly very touched. I thought that my son will definitely be able to support himself when he grows up, no matter what. Be it a chef, a security guard, or a courier. After a day\’s work, he returned to his warm home and became a considerate husband and a responsible father. When we were sick, he was willing to patiently take care of and accompany us… He grew up and grew old like this. The famous violinist Isaac Stern once pointed at the school and said: \”There is a genius in every window here.\” \”Since I raised my child like a snail, I no longer focus on his biggest shortcomings, but have learned to accept and discover more. The snail crawls very slowly, but one day, it will catch up with the rabbit. Even if it cannot catch up, it can How about it? He is already a snail who has tried his best! His persistence, hard work, self-discipline… Aren\’t they more dazzling than the word \”excellent\”? I believe that truly outstanding children will never be better than others. Rather, it comes from love. By raising children like snails, I learned to strengthen my heart: Don’t dislike them, they were born by me and raised by me. My own children, even if they are as slow as a snail, can still receive unconditional love. In the past, I often showed off my sense of superiority in front of my children: \”Your father and I are both top academics, how come you are such a scumbag? \”I still remember that my son once looked at me fiercely: \”I can\’t do anything anymore, can I? I hate mom! \”The conflicts continued to escalate, the parent-child relationship became rigid, and the son became more and more rebellious. He simply said, \”In your eyes, I can\’t do anything.\” Later, I no longer focused on grades. My son failed in the exam, so I took him on a trip to relax and comforted him: \”Your mother was last in the exam back then, so she also went to college.\” \”Unexpectedly, the little boy was laughed at and felt a little embarrassed: \”Mom, I didn\’t do well in the exam this time. I will work hard next time! \”Think about it, even the world champion who won the gold medal gave up the struggle: once, the national table tennis kings Deng Yaping, Wang Nan, and Zhang Yining gathered in the same frame for a live broadcast, and they even talked about their children during the period. I quickly pricked up my ears. I was ready to learn some parenting lessons, but the ending was shocking: Take Wang Nan for example. At first, he let his children practice football for the sake of physical exercise, hoping to lead them to a professional path. A few years later, Wang Nan despaired: \” After several years of training, I felt the only option was to exercise. She complained repeatedly: \”I am a retired professional player. I really want my children to play well, but I will get angry.\” After every training session, both of us are very unfriendly. So the child will say, Mom, let’s not play table tennis. We have a good relationship, but in the end you are not happy and I am not happy either. When Zhang Yining arrived, she also agreed with a wry smile: \”I can make do with anything, but when it comes to playing table tennis, I can\’t make do with it. I really can\’t teach children.\” I sent my children to the coach for a total of 2 hours. It had only been 20 minutes since I went in, and I felt like I was on fire and was about to burn. \”Are you relieved after seeing this? Video of Wang Nan playing ball with her daughterIt also opened my eyes: my daughter Xiaoxiao accidentally dropped her racket as soon as she came on the court, and I was just waiting for my mother, the devil, to fall out. Unexpectedly, Wang Nan just smiled and encouraged: \”It\’s okay.\” Hei Xiaolong, who sent all four of his children to prestigious universities, once said this: \”It\’s easy for parents to think that there is no hope for their children with poor academic performance. In fact, If raised slowly, such children may be better in the future. Don\’t draw conclusions about the child\’s life now. How to cultivate good habits and get rid of bad habits in children pdf+mobi+epub Children should be raised slowly and give more Give them some space and let them slowly draw their own life blueprint.\” When I put down my anxiety and devoted more energy to paying attention to the parent-child relationship, I discovered that: giving children a fertile soil of love and tolerance, snails can quickly transform and accelerate growing up. I have read the book \”Child, Take Your Time\” by the well-known writer Long Yingtai before. There is a passage in it: \”I sat on the stone steps under the setting sun, watching this child with clear eyes concentrate on one thing. . Yes, I am willing to wait a lifetime for him to tie this bow calmly and calmly, with his five-year-old fingers. Child, take your time, take your time.\” What a beautiful picture! After raising my children like snails, I suddenly realized that education with immediate results is a myth. The growth of children is itself a process that requires patient waiting. Don\’t be impatient or anxious, just take your time with the snail child. The child feels comfortable and I feel refreshed. I also firmly believe that the \”dilly-dallying\” little snail walks slowly, but it will definitely go far.