Taking on the responsibilities and responsibilities of a father will bring luck to the children in life.

While writing this article, I interviewed my son. When did you start to be afraid of your father? I started to be afraid of my father in the second semester of first grade. Before, I felt like I was the head of the family. What is the head of the family? That is, you can control everyone in your family. I remembered that in the past, when he felt that he was very powerful, he would raise his arms, clench his fists, puff out his chest, make movements to show strength, and shout \”I am the king of this world.\” In the second semester of first grade, he realized the reality. Not only was he not the king of this world, he was not even the king of his family, his father was. Speaking of which, one of the roles of a father is to make his children recognize reality and teach them some social rules. Brake: Issuing prohibitive orders. My father is more careful than me in supervising his children. However, the child just wanted to avoid his dad. Every time his dad couldn\’t come home on time, he started cheering. I think my family has turned upside down. Once there are no tigers in the mountains, the monkey will want to be the king. It\’s not just my kid like this. One time I took my baby and his friends out to eat. My friend\’s father came to see him, and the two children were in a bad state after seeing this father, and they seemed very nervous. I asked the father to go first and I will send the child back later. After he left, the two boys breathed a sigh of relief and shouted, \”I\’m scared to death.\” One said, \”My heart froze,\” and the other said, \”I\’m about to stop breathing.\” Both boys knew that they Made a little mistake. I asked some primary school children, including girls, who they feared most at home was their father. Sometimes the mother\’s yelling and yelling are not as effective as the father\’s changing of face. As long as the father loses his face, he will not be angry and self-defeating. The rules set by dad also have great power that transcends time and space. One time, my son was playing outside and suddenly remembered that he didn\’t do something according to his father\’s request. He was worried but couldn\’t go back for the time being. He could only comfort himself by saying that fortunately he had three opportunities a week. This is the father\’s braking effect, preventing his children from getting too excited and rushing beyond the red line. Speaking of braking, I think of my child falling while riding a bicycle. This kid rides his bike so hard it\’s so scary. He often shouts \”Yeah~ Yeah~ Go ahead\”, then leaves the seat with his buttocks, leans forward, and slams on the pedals. He fell down many times and showed me how to fall down. But this time he fell a little hard, and according to his description, the car flew up. A large piece of skin was scratched on my elbow. Not only was my left waist bruised, it was also swollen. When I came back, my walking posture was not right. He told me: \”The experience I learned this time is that I can\’t ride so fast in the future.\” He was so afraid of falling that day that he didn\’t even dare to ride a bike. How to help children develop self-discipline – self-driven growth – free reading mobi+epub+azw3 The next day after the wound became scarred, he dared again. Fortunately, he had learned to brake in advance. Fortunately, the child only fell down in the community. It would be very dangerous if he fell like that on the road in the future. Why do you say this? The father\’s seriousness and even small blows to the child, like this wrestling, give the child a preview before leaving home. If the father does not act as a brake when the children are young, and when they reach adolescence, there is no father figure to set norms for them.What will become of the child? Think about it, are there any examples around you where the mother always belittles the father in front of the child, so much so that the child is not afraid of the father at all, and even follows the mother in scolding the father. When adolescence arrives, the child becomes difficult to control. At this time, the mother cannot control the child and wants to ask the father to come out, but the father\’s mountain has long been reduced to a small bag of dirt and cannot control the child at all. Without the suppression of the mountains, will Monkey Sun become riotous? \”Children who are constantly told by their mothers how bad their fathers are will also think that expulsion of their fathers is a matter of course. They will only sympathize with their mothers and will not show any mercy to their fathers. This is just a matter of pre-puberty. As adolescence approaches, children begin to become bored. , although they cannot express it clearly in words, they already feel that their mother has been deceived (the father is not as bad as the mother said), and they may even feel that the mother is actually the biggest betrayer and robber. The children will vent their anger to the mother , beating the mother, swearing, and if unable to do so, hurting oneself, indirectly making the mother angry and painful.\” (\”My Father\’s Disease\”) \”If you don\’t experience the severity of your father, you will experience the outside world while the mother and child are one. I am afraid that if you encounter such a trial, you will be bruised and bruised, become timid and unable to transition.\” (\”Father\’s Disease\”) However, father\’s love also has a tender side, because fathers also play another role. Asylum: Give children a sense of security One Sunday, my son said to me that so-and-so slapped him in the face. I know this boy. He has been taken care of by his grandma. He is one grade higher than my baby, but he is much bigger than my baby. The two boys are standing together, one is a big chow, and the other is a little teddy. I can accept fights between children, but I cannot accept slaps in the face. So I said to the child, should I go down to find him? The child said, \”You can\’t do it. You always smile and are weak.\” I said, let your dad find it, do you think that’s okay? The child said yes. So the father took the child down and gave the boy a warning. Later this happened several times, and later on, who would have thought that these two children were still inseparable. How this matter is handled is not the focus of today\’s concern. The point is that the child can feel the sense of security brought to him by his father. As I said before, if dad comes back late, the baby will be very happy. But if dad is not at home for several days, it will be different. For example, if my father is quarantined, there are only mother and son at home. Our community was quarantined last year. Our neighbor’s father was classified as a sub-closed contact because he received a courier, so he was taken to a hotel for centralized quarantine. On the day the lockdown was lifted, my child\’s mother and I had a chat. She said that her child had become timid because her father was not at home. Every night, wherever she went in the house, her child would follow her. Some children will feel insecure when their father is not around. My baby will be scared if his father is not at home for a long time; if I am not at home, the baby will not be scared. The third party: \”Involving mother and child\” is a bad word, but the father\’s role is really important. When my child goes out to play with me and sees his father coming, he will say to his father, \”Can\’t you give me and my mother some time alone?\” Dad naturally rejected his request. The child also said that he would be withWhen I got married, I thought to myself, when I am seventy or eighty years old, if there is still a young man who likes me, then how charming I must be. But then I thought about it, no, this kid also told me that he wanted to marry so-and-so in their class, and so-and-so, this teacher, and another teacher. My child, you are really ambitious. Having said that, psychoanalysis has a famous complex called the \”Oedipus complex\”. Oedipus is a character in the ancient Greek story. His tragedy is that he killed his father and married his mother. This complex is simply the Oedipus complex. Almost all children have the Oedipus complex during childhood. Ultra-clear 2160P The Secret of the Whale documentary Chinese online watch full 4 episodes [Chinese and English subtitles] Jacques Lacan, known as the \”Freud of France\” said this: \”If there is no father, there is no Oedipus The problem of complex, conversely, the Oedipus complex is an introduction to the basic functions of the father.\” The existence of the Oedipus complex is precisely because the child realizes that he is not exclusive to his mother. He and his mother Besides, there is also my father. The existence of the father introduces the binary relationship between mother and child into a three-dimensional structure. Mother and child are no longer one, making conjoined twins like mother and child separated and independent of each other. How did the role of the father disappear? A long time ago, the role of fathers was huge. Even if they did not discipline their children, their authority would not disappear. After entering the farming society, the father leads the entire family, and the children are naturally children of the patrilineal family. If there is a problem between husband and wife, the child must belong to the father. That is different now. More and more children are following their mothers, especially when they are young, because children biologically need their mothers. (What we are talking about here is the changes in the role of fathers in history, rather than discussing which is better.) The authority of the father is also reflected in the power of life and death. In the past, whether in the West or in China, fathers had the power of life and death over their children. Today I will just talk about the previous history of our country. Before the Qin and Han Dynasties, \”father\” had the power of life and death over \”son\”. But later, human life became the property of the state, and the power of life and death was completely controlled by the state. The father could no longer kill his son at will. However, parents have the right to punish unfilial children. “As long as the parents file a complaint, the judicial department will approve it.” Except for swearing, cursing and execution, all other crimes are not punishable by death.\” This means that patriarchy \”still retains the will to live and kill.\” Law and family patriarchy maintain the order recognized by society in a mutually responsible and causal manner. (Qu Tongzu, \”Chinese Law and Chinese Society\”) Fathers have great authority and bear great responsibility in educating their children. \”It is the father\’s fault if the son does not teach him.\” Fathers have also written various books of admonitions to their children. Various family training. Even among ordinary people, the father will play the role of educator through \”father to son\”. Today, the age of patriarchy is over. The relationship between father and mother is equal, and even the father\’s status as the breadwinner has been shaken. In addition, he is often away from home, and the father even has no sense of existence. The father\’s educational function was replaced by the school, part of the function of fathers playing with their children has also been replaced by interest classes. If the mother-child connection is used to push the father out, the father can only be a money-making machine. Give your father more presence. Children, whether they are boys or girls, want to gain their father\’s approval and have an ideal father\’s image. And this image, in addition to the father himself, also needs to be maintained by the child\’s mother. In single-parent families, the image of the father can even be shaped, because the meaning of a father is cultural and psychological. This psychological father can be a man around him, such as an uncle; it can also be an organization, such as boarding schools in the UK that have the function of a father; or it can even be a single mother herself. Children who lack the discipline of a father figure are likely to become childish, arrogant, easily hurt, and insecure. (The example of my baby being a king at the beginning of the article is really typical.) \”In order to grow up healthily, children need a father figure who knows how to love and care for themselves, has wisdom and ability, and is respectable. This has nothing to do with fathers in real life.\” Father. Children also need to interact with their children frequently, so the father\’s pressure will be reduced. When interacting with his children, the father\’s oxytocin is activated, making him more resistant to stress and more tolerant. How much have they sacrificed if they never see their children, have to be under high pressure for a long time, or leave their children to live in a different place? In addition, I would like to emphasize that \”people have a strong ability to compensate, and sometimes a single parent can fulfill the role of two parents very well. What is even more surprising is that even if misfortune occurs while growing up, the child will not care about his father\’s shortcomings or inadequacies.\” Perfect, as long as they provide a little help, the child will have the ability to become independent.\” These are the original words of a psychiatrist, the author of \”My Father\’s Disease\”.