What should I do if I can’t help but lose my temper with my child?

When children make mistakes and are disobedient, parents are always prone to get angry, yell, or even beat and scold their children: \”If you don\’t obey again, I will beat you!\” \”Can you stop being so troublesome all the time?\” \”Why are you like this?\” Stupid? Pig brain…\” This kind of criticism and education is not only ineffective, but even counterproductive. Appropriate criticism will attract children\’s attention, but excessive and frequent criticism will cause children to be rebellious and confrontational. You must know that \”forced forces lead to rebellion.\” So in order not to get angry with your children, please keep these 22 maxims in mind and read them three times a day. They are simple but very effective! Starting today: I will encourage and praise my children more instead of criticizing, blaming, and blaming them. Because children need encouragement, just like plants need sunshine and water; because I know that only encouragement and praise can give children confidence and strength, so that they can be filled with endless power and have the determination to get better. Criticism, accusation, and complaint are just venting my emotions and hurting the child\’s heart; only good emotions can lead to good behavior. Children who are often encouraged by their parents are often more likely to stimulate internal drive, have the willingness and motivation to do things, and Can persist in giving you unexpected surprises. Starting today: I want to change my educational thinking of error correction – I believe that only by criticizing and criticizing children when they make mistakes can children have a long memory and know that they have made mistakes, so that they can correct themselves and not make mistakes. In fact, such frequent error correction is like a corrosive to the soul, which will make my children shrink back, have low self-esteem, and lose the courage to face difficulties. Maybe the child simply lay down in the end – \”My mother said I can\’t do it, but I just can\’t do it. Anyway, I can\’t do anything well, and in the end I just didn\’t bother to do it.\” The process of me constantly correcting the child\’s mistakes is the child\’s self-given up. In the beginning, the process of my constant disappointment with my children was the process of my children\’s self-disappointment. When I really need to criticize, I have to confirm it first and then correct the mistake, so that the child will not feel that it is directed at him, and the child will not feel full of frustration. Starting today: I need to find the right time for education. When my child does something wrong, it is the best time for me to build a relationship with him. To truly educate a child and make him become better and better, it is not when he \”does the right thing\”, but when he makes a mistake, can I help him. Be more understanding and empathetic, use affirmation and praise to strengthen your child\’s good behavior, give him the confidence to change, and let him feel the confidence to be loved. Only this invisible but powerful force can urge him to become better. Starting today: I must learn to accept all the good and bad things about my children, be more tolerant and less picky towards my children. By lowering my expectations for my children, I will not be anxious or exert any force on my children. Only by accepting the child can we know and understand the child correctly. I love my child not because of anything he has done, but simply because he is my child. Starting today: I will pay more attention to what my children do, rather than what they fail to do. Because whatever I pay attention to is what I am strengthening, and what I strengthen will be what I get. If you focus on what your child has failed to do and force your child to change, you are reinforcing failure. On the contrary, if I pay attention to what my child has done and notice every little change in his child, that is when IStrengthen success, strengthen the good side of the child, and give the child a good feeling. Children will gain a sense of accomplishment, be full of motivation every day, and become more and more confident. How parents should educate their children – A complete set of 10 volumes of children\’s education mobi+epub+azw3 Starting from today: I must learn to speak well, because our mouths hold the future of our children. What we often say about children will make them become what we say. We can be a refueling station for children on their way to growth, or we can be a stumbling block on their way to growth. When I talk to my children in the future, I must think about whether this sentence adds power to my children or reduces it. I can no longer just speak with my mouth like before. Always remember: Say more words to increase your strength, and don’t say anything to reduce your strength. Starting today: I can no longer maintain high standards, strict requirements, and high expectations as before. When children fail to do something, they blame and criticize them, causing them to continue to experience frustration and less and less trust in themselves. This will put too much pressure on the children. Under high pressure, once the children feel that they are unable to do what they want, they will immediately have a choice, which is to give up, I will quit, and I will not be able to achieve this goal. Therefore, in the process of educating children, I must learn to set small goals for children, which are what the children can reach by stretching out their hands and tapping their toes, so that the children can constantly experience the feeling of success. Only by allowing children to gain a sense of responsibility can children continue to make progress. Starting today: It is normal for children to have emotions. When children have emotions, we need to know: Only by solving the emotional problem first can we solve the problem itself. Many times, you think your child is living a happy life, but you don’t know that your child is always depressed. When their emotions accumulate to a certain level, they will either attack themselves internally or completely explode externally. Therefore, when faced with children\’s emotions, don\’t rush to instill truth, or directly shut up the child and suppress the child\’s emotions. Only by releasing their emotions can conflicts and pressure be alleviated and the problem fundamentally solved. Start today: Change your attitude and way of speaking, listen patiently, and respond gently. In many parent-child conflicts, what the children rebel against is not the parents themselves, but the parents\’ attitudes and ways of speaking. Parents\’ blaming accusations and orders will only push their children to be opposite of themselves and make them feel full of negative energy. When chatting, always start with \”I\” to put you and your child in the same category, so that he will trust you and be more receptive to what you say. Never use language such as \”Why are you…, why are you…, why don\’t you hurry up…\” to exclude your children. Always remind yourself: stand with the children and defeat the problems, rather than stand with the problems and defeat the children! Starting today: When accompanying your children, change your previous habit of taking too much care, dictating to your children, and ordering your children to do things according to your own ideas. Because such companionship will turn into surveillance and control, which will bring more tension and anxiety to the child. It will make the child feel that I am not accepting and dissatisfied with him, and it will consume the child\’s vitality. In the end, he put the cart before the horse and focused all his energy on dealing with me instead of investing in real learning. Starting from todayHajime: I want to get rid of my nagging habit, because nagging is like a knife. No matter how blunt the knife is, a child cannot withstand the \”touch-ups\” from his parents every day. And due to the \”over-limit response\”, the more I speak, the less likely the child is to hear me. Even if he hears it, the child will have a rebellious mentality of \”I want to be like this.\” To educate children, you don’t need over-education, you need clean education, you just need to “stop there”. Starting today: I will listen more to my children instead of rushing to judge them. Because true communication is two-way, there is input only when there is output. Only by giving children the opportunity to express themselves will they care about what I say. Blaming, nagging, criticizing, these are all one-way communication. I keep saying this, and the children passively absorb it. This kind of communication is ineffective and will one day pull the relationship further and further apart. Starting today: As my child grows, I must learn to work patiently and allow him to grow, instead of impatiently thinking that my child will get better, change, and do it all at once. This question never comes to the meeting, and there is a process in the middle; from doing this housework poorly to doing it well, there is also a process in the middle; even if the child never knows how to tie buttons today, there is a process in the middle. A process is required. When a child is growing up, if he doesn\’t write well today, doesn\’t know a math question today, or doesn\’t wash the dishes clean today, we\’ll beat him and scold him, and always say, \”Why are you so stupid?\” This is tantamount to depriving the child of the process of growth. It is meaningless except adding frustration to the child. Therefore, I need to be more patient and be a good helper for my children. It is my responsibility to help him master these abilities, and I must learn to enjoy the process. Starting today: I must learn to squat down and communicate with my children on an equal footing, instead of being condescending and ordering my children to listen to me. Because forced suppression will only bring about stronger rebellion and resistance in children. When I no longer always control my child and learn to use \”expressions of weakness\” to seek his help and support, perhaps a lot of rebellion and disobedience will naturally disappear. Starting today: I want to reduce my desire to control and give my children a certain amount of choice and autonomy. You can listen to your children on some things, so as to cultivate more independent and responsible children. For example, if a child wants to eat first and then do homework, we can say to the child, \”Child, I listen to you.\”; if the child wants to learn painting or not practice piano, we can say, \”Child, you can decide for yourself.\” It is their right to allow children to do things according to their own wishes and ideas if it is not a matter of principle. Starting today: I will accompany my children attentively instead of dealing with them absentmindedly. Because I know that only true companionship can make children feel the warmth of love. Children who grow up under the nourishment of love are full of love and rich in their hearts. I will choose a time every day to put down my mobile phone and give myself and my children some parent-child time. I understand that relationship precedes education, and a good parent-child relationship is the prerequisite for education. Starting today: I want to learn to be a 60% parent, not a 100% parent. Learn to \”be lazy\”, learn to \”be lazy\”\”Showing weakness\”, letting children do many things instead of taking care of everything. I know that doing things will leave children without opportunities for practice and trial and error. This will make my children have no sense of responsibility, poor ability, and no independence. Starting today: I want to unconditionally love my children as they are, not as I want them to be. There are no perfect adults, and there are no perfect children. We just need to improve without demanding perfection. To love children is to learn to appreciate the advantages of children. , strengths and potential. Every day from now on, I will find two advantages in my child and praise them sincerely. When I see more of the child’s advantages in my eyes, the child can feel it and believe that he is so good and will Be more confident and sunny, and have the will to become better. Starting today: I need to learn to manage my emotions. I need to first learn to express my emotions instead of expressing them emotionally, and handle every moment quietly and peacefully with my children. Children It shouldn’t be a recycling bin for emotional garbage, and it shouldn’t be my punching bag. Temper and violence will only prove my incompetence and lack of education. Be an emotionally calm parent and give your children a safe growing environment. , this is a topic I must overcome. Starting today: I need to know: The relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family. If the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious, the family will be as stable as a rock. If the parent-child relationship overrides the relationship between husband and wife, there will be problems in the family. . I must proactively handle the relationship with my significant other and learn to communicate effectively with my significant other. To unify the educational goals of the children, work together and never let conflicts between husband and wife affect and harm the children. Let the children live in a harmonious family Feeling the fullest love will be my mission. Starting today: I want to let go of my own anxiety, because the more anxious I am, the more stressed my child will be. I want to find out my own problems through my child’s problems, Improve my own educational ability. Instead of constantly blaming the child when the child makes a mistake, without thinking about why the child is like this. I am the root of all the child\’s problems. I want to be the noble person of the child, lead and Help children grow better. Starting today: I must also be kind to myself and love myself more. When I have no status and no feelings, I have no energy. Even if I love my children very, very much, if I The energy of love in my heart has not increased, and I cannot find the feeling of love myself, so I cannot influence and help my children well! When I am tired, take a break and give myself a proper holiday. Because in the process of raising children, If you keep spinning, it is easy to suffer from \”nurturing burnout.\” When you are too tired and overwhelmed by life, your children\’s problems can easily become a trigger and you can\’t help but get angry at them. Love is the gateway On the way to the children\’s hearts, without love, there is no education. But I am the root of everything. I must take care of myself first before I can take care of the children\’s lives in a fuller state. If we change 1 point, the children will change 10 points. How? Educate children to develop good qualities? Take a look at these 6 Oscar-winning animated short films. Whether our lives are happy or full of chaos depends on how we choose. With these 22 maxims, we strive to adhere to them, and our childrenOur children are excellent, we are relaxed, and our family is happier! Click \”Like\” and encourage all parents!