10 tips on how to make your children self-disciplined and outstanding

A few days after the school was suspended, a group of parents of boys complained in the group: My son is either jumping up and down at home or yelling, which is so crazy! When my family is studying, they look around and won’t write unless they stare. Even after staring for a long time, they can’t write two lines… Why are they so unconscious? I\’m so worried… Plato once said that among all animals, boys are the most difficult to control and deal with. Boys are naturally active, develop later, and have relatively weak self-control. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching the pattern explosion. If parents do not supervise in place, lack correct education methods, or just ignore it, they will inevitably suffer big losses in their studies and even in the future. You know, no outstanding boy grows up in the care of his parents. If you also want to raise a self-disciplined and motivated boy, be sure to collect these 10 suggestions as soon as possible. 01 Don’t compare him with anyone, especially girls of the same age. There is a pair of twins in a neighbor\’s house. The daughter is a good student that everyone praises, but the son is a scumbag. He can\’t sit still, is inattentive, and makes a lot of little moves. When she educates her children, she often compares her son with her daughter, hoping to stimulate her son and make him a little more motivated. Unexpectedly, my son became more and more stupid, and he didn\’t even dare to speak loudly. The brain development of boys is \”half a beat\” slower than that of girls. He will encounter more difficulties in learning than girls and will often feel helpless. If parents know nothing about this and always compare boys with girls of the same age, or even blindly attack boys, it will only make him feel more frustrated and his resistance to learning will become more serious. As said in \”The End of Men\”: \”Responsible parents should realize that they cannot change the direction and law of world development, but they can put their children in a fair environment so that boys no longer Feel like a failure.\” Don\’t increase the boy\’s psychological pressure, and don\’t intentionally or unintentionally give him psychological hints that \”boys are stupider than girls when they were young\” and \”boys are just not as good as girls.\” Instead, correct your mentality and give them more patience and care. This is the best way to educate boys. 02 Treat learning and life with unified standards. For a period of time, my son was particularly disgusted with studying and would lose his temper even if he was even reminded. Later, one time, he told the reason in anger: \”You are usually very gentle, but when it comes to homework, you are particularly fierce to me. This is not okay, and that is not okay. I hate studying!\” Then I remembered that he didn\’t I never scolded him when it came to doing housework, nor did I force him because he didn\’t like to exercise. But when it comes to learning, I always point fingers and hold him to the highest standards. It is my double standards that make children hate learning even more. Therefore, do not strictly control your children in their studies, but indulge them in life. Unifying standards will prevent children from having a strong resistance to learning. 03 Help boys accelerate the development of their left brain. Boys\’ left brains develop more slowly, so they lag significantly behind girls in their language expression abilities of listening, speaking, reading and writing. But don’t think you can just let it go, just wait for the boy to slowly wake up. The human brain is lifelong plastic, and long-term deliberate practice can help boys’ brain development. Parents may wish to work hard from the following three aspects: 1. Early parent-child reading together is very important; 2. In the process of doing housework, playing games, and telling stories 3. Chat with your children more and guide them to tell more and express more; 3. Explain the things they are curious about and don’t get tired of their questions, because this will gradually weaken their desire to share and curiosity. 04Set him a medium-difficulty goal. Boys like challenges, but they are also afraid of failure. Xie Yingping, the former high school affiliated to Fudan University, once said that if you want children to learn spontaneously, you must \”give them apples that can only be picked by jumping.\” It is not necessary to give the apples directly to the children, because the children will lose interest, but also to ensure that A child can get something if he works hard, otherwise he will lose confidence. Therefore, setting expectations for a boy at an appropriate level and setting a medium-difficulty goal for him will have the best effect. For example, if you scored 70 points on the math test this time, try to score 80 points next time. If you practiced calligraphy for 10 minutes today, then the goal tomorrow will be 15 minutes… When the child breaks through the small goal, create some sense of ritual for him. It can greatly enhance his sense of satisfaction and achievement. 05Continuously provide \”growth recognition\”. There was a boy in Changchun, Jilin, who choked with tears because he was selected as a class leader. Since he was a child, no class cadre teacher had ever chosen him, which made him feel very aggrieved and disappointed. Boys are strong-willed and face-loving by nature, so they need more affirmation and approval from adults. Stanford professor Carol Dweck once said in a speech that parents need to learn to praise their children wisely. Don\’t praise his talent and IQ, such as \”you are awesome\” or \”you are so smart\”, but praise him for his hard work, perseverance, positive attitude and rapid progress… Growth-oriented encouragement like this can make the boy feel A full sense of competence stimulates his potential and makes him believe that he has the power to get better, so that he becomes more confident and outstanding day by day. 06 Develop clear rules and give clear instructions. Boys need rules more than girls. As pointed out in \”Why Boys Are Hard to Raise\”: \”Boys need boundaries. Boundaries give them a basis for acting and keep them organized.\” Proper restraint and discipline will make boys safer. It makes it easier to develop good behavioral habits. But it should be noted that you must not try to reason with the boy or try to sharpen your ears. The probability that he will listen is very slim. The rules and instructions given to boys must be concise, specific and clear. For example, if you urge your children to \”do your homework quickly,\” they will either be indifferent or just write two questions and play. It is better to make detailed requirements for children, \”First do pages 3 and 4 of the math exercise book, and then recite the ancient poem \”Ode to the Willows\” on page X of the Chinese textbook.\” Or prepare a clearly organized homework record sheet for them. , put a check mark each time you complete an item. It is also important to note that you should not compromise just because your child is crying and acting arrogant. Only by insisting on what should be insisted on, rejecting what should be rejected, and letting the children bear the consequences can the rules be enforced.efficient. 07Learn the way boys like. When the same teacher teaches, girls can concentrate, but boys often feel bored, easily distracted, and even restless. Why? Brain science research has confirmed that boys are more receptive to stimulation from charts, images, and even space and moving objects than monotonous verbal stimulation. So if you think boys are too difficult to manage and teach, you are just not using the right method. For example: choose books with pictures for him; when reading picture books, you can play role-playing with him; when teaching him to read, you can use colorful word cards to first look at the pictures and then read the words. Memorizing words and reciting ancient poems can guide him to close his eyes and imagine a picture, or use real scenes such as parks and streets to help him remember better. You can also create more hands-on opportunities for him, some knowledge of physics and chemistry, and use \”small experiments\” to educate and entertain him to increase his interest in learning. Don\’t force him to memorize by rote. Educating boys requires parents to put more thought into it. 08 Skillfully use \”competitive psychology\” to stimulate self-motivation. The book \”Raising Sons\” once said that the most important thing a boy cares about on any occasion is: Who is the leader here? A strong desire to compete is in every boy\’s nature. Clever use of boys\’ competitive psychology can turn it into a force for children to continuously make progress. When a child doesn\’t want to study or is afraid of difficulties, you might as well \”stimulate\” him appropriately: \”How about we compete?\” \”Let\’s see who can finish these three arithmetic problems first?\” \”I will definitely do it better than you. Faster is better!\” When a boy with a strong competitive spirit hears you say this, he will be more motivated to learn. In order to \”win\”, they will also try their best to complete the task. 09. Help boys find at least one male role model. When a boy grows up, he needs a male role model, and dad is the best choice. When he was a child, his father was the role model for his son to imitate; during childhood, his father was the target for his son to challenge; by adolescence, his father would become the goal for his son to surpass. If the father can accompany him attentively and set an example, educating boys will be more effective with half the effort. You can also help the boy find a famous role model, such as leading him to read more inspirational stories and celebrity biographies. Liang Qichao once said that reading biographies of famous people can best inspire people\’s ambition. The ups and downs experiences and tenacity of the characters in the book can influence children in a subtle way, inspire the boy\’s fighting spirit, and make him work hard towards his goal and become a brave, strong, independent and excellent man. 10 Parents must not set the rules while the other holds them back. Yu Minhong once mentioned one thing in his speech. When his son was 10 years old, he wanted an iPad very much. Yu Minhong said: \”This is too expensive. An iPad costs 5,000 yuan. Our aunt has to work hard for a month to earn 5,000 yuan.\” The son refused to give up, and Yu Minhong said Then he set a condition for the child, that he must read 20 books carefully. Originally, his son had already started studying, but while Yu Minhong was on a business trip, his wife bought it for him without saying a word. As a result, my son did not finish reading 20 books. This phenomenon exists in many families. One parent is strict and the other is doting. One parent tries hard to set the rules but the other tries to hold them back. Parents’ education methods are not uniform, and all discipline must beAll efforts before the meeting were in vain. Only by uniting the front and forming an alliance can parents establish good rules and help their children develop good habits. ▽There is a \”flywheel effect\” in psychology. It says that in order to make a stationary flywheel rotate, you must use a lot of force at first and push it repeatedly in circles. Each rotation is very laborious. But when the flywheel spins faster and faster, and reaches a certain critical point, you don\’t need to exert more effort, the flywheel will still spin quickly, and it will keep spinning. Such is the process of raising a boy. Immediate education is a myth. No boy can become very good all of a sudden. Those sparkling children are the result of their parents’ hard work, careful supervision, and continuous discipline. Raising a boy will be a difficult and slow journey at the beginning. But as long as we don\’t give up and don\’t let things go, our boy will eventually be able to usher in the day when he breaks out of his cocoon and becomes a butterfly.