Determine two critical periods in a child\’s life! It\’s not too late to see it now

Parents are very concerned about their children\’s high school entrance examination and college entrance examination, believing that these are crucial nodes in their children\’s lives. But in fact, children\’s performance in these major exams is finalized in the following two stages, that is, when the child is in the fourth or fifth grade and the second grade of junior high school. Why do you say that? Let’s read on~ The first stage: fourth and fifth grade. I believe many parents have heard this sentence: “Fourth and fifth grade are a hurdle.” However, its importance is often ignored by parents. At this stage, children’s If many changes are not handled well, they will have serious consequences. Many of the problems exposed by children in junior high school are related to the hidden dangers buried at this stage. Why do you say that? The fourth and fifth grade are a period of sudden emotional and emotional development for children. Children generally begin to develop self-awareness around the age of 10. They strongly need the respect of their parents and need their parents to treat them as older children. However, many parents do not understand their children\’s psychology and still treat their children as children. Therefore, children in this period often deliberately oppose their parents because they do not receive respect and understanding from their parents. Parents, please don’t think that your children are deliberately against you and are just disobedient. In fact, there are deep reasons behind your children’s desire for your understanding and your respect. Their self-awareness is in the formative stage. They have their own views and opinions on things, and they always stubbornly believe that they are right. However, due to insufficient life and social experience, children\’s views and opinions are often incomplete or wrong. Therefore, the gap between ideals and reality will also cause great changes in children\’s emotions and emotions. Children will say words such as \”It\’s so annoying\” and \”It\’s so annoying\”, and the number of such words will continue to rise, just like many children express their inner thoughts in their compositions: One child said: \”Mom I always wear clothes that I don\’t like; I like long hair, but my mother makes me cut it short… This is a sign of disrespect for me.\” Another classmate said: \”My parents don\’t let me have short hair with my classmates. They don\’t let me read the extracurricular books I like. They never seem to believe me.\” In fact, children\’s worries are not just about toys, clothes, hairstyles, or extracurricular readings. What they need is the understanding of their parents. and respect. When a child is truly understood and respected, all his negative and rebellious emotions will disappear. They are in a period of emotional mutation. They are easily angry and angry, but they are also easily moved. Parents\’ understanding and respect can move them more than giving them expensive gifts. The fourth and fifth grade are the periods when children are most likely to be tired of learning. Many children begin to hate studying and doing homework, and even respond to what their parents often say: \”Study hard.\” Strong resentment. This is related to the development of children\’s self-awareness and thinking ability. From first grade to third grade, children will follow the opinions of parents and teachers more and never think too much about \”why\”. They believe that the words of parents and teachers are the truth. However, after the fourth grade, children\’s thinking abilities develop rapidly, and they begin to have their own independent thinking. They begin to think: Why should I study?What can I do if I don’t study well? Since self-awareness has just emerged, children at this time stubbornly believe that they can solve all problems by themselves. At this time, parents\’ nagging and orders will not only bore the children, but also give them the wrong message: learning is a very difficult thing, and he is studying for his parents. Infected by this kind of misinformation, children will become tired of learning. Moreover, by the fourth and fifth grades, learning becomes increasingly difficult, and many children will feel incompetent in learning. If parents still do not understand their children, or even scold, beat and scold them, then the children can only hate learning, which will lead to a strong aversion to learning. Years of surveys have found that the fourth and fifth grades are a critical period for children to finalize their academic performance. When children achieve good results in fourth or fifth grade, they are more likely to develop self-confidence in learning, and then maintain excellence in their future studies. However, if children have poor or mediocre grades, they will not experience the sense of accomplishment brought by their grades, and will not have confidence in learning or be motivated to learn. There is no motivation or enthusiasm for learning. In the future learning process, children will only have more difficulty learning and lose confidence. Before their children enter the third grade, parents can ask more about happiness and less about learning. But by the fourth or fifth grade, parents should pay more attention to their children\’s learning status. This kind of attention does not mean that parents should urge and supervise their children to learn more, or mention learning to their children every day. Rather, in the fourth and fifth grades, when academic performance is about to be finalized, parents must put in a certain amount of energy to let their children experience their interest in learning and help them build their confidence in learning. The various habits of children in fourth and fifth grade are finalized. A foreign expert in behavioral studies conducted a survey: The expert conducted tests on thousands of children from the fourth grade of elementary school to the third grade of high school. The content of this test included knowledge Tests, ability tests and habit tests. The test results surprised the expert because he found that from the fourth grade of elementary school to the third grade of high school, children\’s knowledge scores and ability scores have been on an upward trend, but their habit scores have not changed much. Experts have come to the conclusion that the critical period for children\’s habit development is in the lower and middle grades of elementary school, and the fourth or fifth grade is a \”watershed.\” Judging from the characteristics of habit formation, the fourth and fifth grades are the critical period for strengthening good habits and correcting bad habits. After this critical period, these bad habits will not be easily changed. Judging from the development characteristics of children\’s willpower, although the development of children\’s willpower at this time is only preliminary and unstable. But at this time, the child\’s willpower development begins to transition from weak to strong, from heterodiscipline to self-discipline. Children will take the initiative to develop some good habits and correct some bad habits by restraining themselves. Therefore, it is not difficult to cultivate good habits and correct bad habits. What do parents do? At this critical stage of fourth and fifth grade, what key points should parents pay attention to to help their children? 1. Cultivate children’s ability to control emotions. The fourth and fifth grade are children’s emotional and emotional development.The mutation period is also a critical period for cultivating children\’s ability to control their emotions. At this time, children have their own ideas and have obvious ability to distinguish right from wrong and hobbies. However, their communication and communication abilities and methods are limited, or they cannot communicate with their parents, and this is precisely what makes their emotions deteriorate. When children cannot handle their emotions well and lack the ability to resolve themselves, it will be difficult for them to concentrate on their studies, which will affect their lives and interpersonal relationships, and may even lead to some psychological problems. In order to cultivate children\’s ability to control their own emotions, parents should first let their children understand this: it doesn\’t matter if they have negative emotions, just speak them out and see if their parents can do anything about it. From a psychological point of view, the scientific method should be as follows: when faced with a child\’s sadness or weakness, parents must not scold them, but should allow their children to vent their frustrations to their heart\’s content. As long as the child vents enough, he will naturally recover. Mood balance. At this time, it is a good idea to allow children to express their emotions appropriately. It is worth noting that the focus of communication for children around the age of 10 has shifted from family to school, and the relationship and friendship between classmates will become an important factor affecting the child\’s spirit. As parents, no matter what age your children are, if you want to educate them well, you must understand their psychology in advance. Many parents spend a lot of thought on their children\’s learning, but it is easy for their children to misunderstand that they are studying for their parents. The more parents force their children to study seriously, the more likely they are to create opportunities for children to refuse to study and refute their parents. 2. Frequently give \”positive hints\” to children. In addition to their self-motivation, children\’s self-confidence also needs appreciation and encouragement from their parents. In fact, every child is like this. If his parents say he is smart, he will be smart; if his parents say he is stupid, he will really become stupid. This is the \”suggestion\” function in psychology. Negative hints: \”What, my child is not good at it\”; \”My child\’s homework is not very good\”; \”My child\’s grades are okay, but his memory is not good\”… Even if the parents speak modestly and politely to others, the child When you hear it, you will also think that this is the parents\’ evaluation of themselves. Under this kind of suggestion, children really become stupid and worse. The correct approach is that even if the child really has poor memory and has shortcomings in learning, parents must not criticize the child easily. Instead, use positive hints: \”You are smart\”; \”You are the best in mom\’s heart!\” Don\’t think this will make the child proud. Encouragement at this stage will inspire more self-confidence in the child. 3. Parents should be careful about \”accompanying reading\”. Many parents help their children do homework every night and check their children\’s homework. This kind of accompanying reading phenomenon is a \”killer\” that destroys children\’s learning confidence and interest in learning. There was a child who always got \”excellent\” in his homework. In one exam, he failed. Looking at the test paper full of red crosses, the teacher asked the boy to talk to him. Under the guidance of the teacher, the child spoke his mind: \”Every night when I do my homework, I want to finish it quickly, because only after I finish my homework can I go online.\” \”Aren\’t you afraid of making mistakes in your homework?? \”The teacher asked. \”Don\’t be afraid, because my mother has to check my homework every day. If there is a little mistake, my mother will find it. \”The boy said proudly. \”Then what should you do if you encounter a difficult question? \”I didn\’t even have to think about it, I just told my mother that I didn\’t know how to do it, and my mother just told me.\” \”Mom told you, will you do it if you encounter similar problems in the future?\” \”I understood it very well at the time, but if I encounter a similar problem again, I will do it after my mother reminds me. If no one tells me which method to use, I will not do it.\” This is the case for this exam. These questions are all very familiar, but I just can’t remember what method to use. \”Children around 10 years old already have their own ideas about many things, but they are children after all. It is their nature to love to play. They always want to finish their homework quickly so that they can play. So many bad habits come from their homework. It is reflected in the situation, such as: being careless, not thinking carefully about problems, not considering problems comprehensively… Without the participation of parents, children will bear the consequences of their actions for this – being criticized by teachers. But parents deprive In order to protect their right to bear natural consequences, parents point out all their children\’s mistakes when checking their homework. When children have someone to rely on, their interest in learning and their confidence in learning will be significantly reduced. 4. Develop good habits Use addition to overcome bad habits and use subtraction. Parents must remember this truth: the sooner children develop good habits, the better. It is not easy to cultivate any good habit, nor is it easy to correct any bad habit. Around the age of 10, children\’s brains enter a period of rapid development. At this time, children already have the ability to think rationally. When they encounter problems, they are already able to think rationally and think from different perspectives. For example, when children are still young, When children are young, even if their mothers take the initiative to hint to their children that \”washing clothes is very hard work\”, they often cannot truly understand their mother\’s hard work. When the children are older, their habits of laziness and inconsideration have long been established, no matter how their parents hint. It is invalid. In the fourth or fifth grade when rational thinking has just emerged, this kind of hint from parents is very necessary and necessary. Parents must have a certain authority and perseverance to help their children change bad habits. On the basis of unity, some \”discipline\” and \”rules\” are formulated for the children. The second stage: the second grade of junior high school. There is a proverb: the first grade of junior high school is not much different, the second grade of junior high school is polarized, and the third grade of junior high school is up and down! Many teachers and parents We all have a deep understanding that the second grade of junior high school is a dangerous stage for students with many \”accidents\”. Many children are \”good students\” in elementary school and even in the first grade of junior high school. How come they slip into the second grade of junior high school? The second grade of junior high school is a rush. Compared with the starting point, the \”slope\” towards the mountain has a lot less encouragement and expectations; compared with the end point, it has a lot less applause and cheering. It is a stage of fighting alone, and it is a stage of loneliness. It is a stage where endurance, will, and self-control compete. It is generally recognized that the second grade of junior high school is a high-risk period for children\’s performance to decline! When others are struggling to climb, some children develop a slack and relaxed mentality, and it is easy to slip to the bottom of the slope. In addition, Compared with the knowledge in the first grade of junior high school, the second grade of junior high schoolThe content of knowledge is much deeper and more difficult. Many students find it difficult to learn, develop a fear of difficulty, and lose interest in learning. Some children even broke the rules and gave up studying. Many parents say that their children\’s performance began to decline in the second grade of junior high school. Second grade students who are prone to early love and have strong vanity have basically entered adolescence. The curiosity and desire to explore brought about by sexual maturity in adolescence promote the development of adolescent sexual consciousness. With shy curiosity about the opposite sex, the phenomenon of puppy love emerges in endlessly. Because of their increased self-awareness, they will often look at themselves. They like fashionable clothes, gorgeous costumes, trendy electronic products, and like to express themselves. In order to satisfy their own vanity, they spend money lavishly, wasting time and wasting their studies. Factors such as puppy love, excessive attention to appearance, and the increased difficulty of learning have caused many students to lose interest in learning, leading to a decline in grades. Children are alienated from their parents and highly rebellious. Adolescent children develop a rapid self-awareness, like to do things according to their own wishes, and dare to question the authority of their parents. Affected by hormones, they are excited, often lose their temper, like to contradict adults, and even contradict their parents. They have serious rebellious psychology and are alienated from their parents. In the second grade of junior high school, the media and peers have a greater influence on students, even more than parents and teachers. Sometimes, a thousand words from parents and teachers are not worth one word from his partner. Issues of willpower and perseverance For junior high school students, their enthusiasm for learning mainly depends on their interest in learning and their perseverance to overcome learning difficulties. Some students are smarter and learn easily in primary school, so they can achieve good results without working very hard. These students are often praised by parents and teachers for their intelligence. They mistakenly believe that getting good grades is so easy, and they can learn well without seriousness or hard work. But it was completely different in the second grade of junior high school. The amount of knowledge increases greatly in the second year of junior high school. At this time, you will definitely not learn well without working hard. Because students have just entered the second grade of junior high school, their psychological development is immature, and they have insufficient understanding of themselves. When faced with difficulties, they cannot or do not want to find a solution to the problem, so they resort to self-comfort and self-giving. And because of the long-term nature of learning, students need to study persistently. However, some students lack the basic will and perseverance, and are afraid of hardship and suffering, so they have a coping mentality, resulting in weak learning, and differentiation is inevitable. What should parents do? 1. Be a parent with peaceful communication. Parents should communicate more with their children and should not leave all the tasks of educating their children to schools and teachers. Listen more to your children, understand their needs, and keep parent-child communication smooth. But be careful not to be nagging or verbose. Adolescent children are most disgusted by their parents’ nagging. The common characteristic of parents that children dislike the most is being \”condescending\”. Therefore, parents and children must communicate equally to create a harmonious parent-child atmosphere. Parents should be good at discovering the shining points of their children. When educating children, it is better to adopt a method of channeling rather than blocking. \”Blocking\” will inevitably lead to omissions, and it will make the child\’s worries accumulate more and more, and may even drive the child to extremes. Children in middle school are prone to impulsivity. As adults, parents shouldIf you are sensible, you should immediately take the initiative to take appropriate measures to stop the argument, but never give up. Waiting for both parties to calm down before enlightening the child, the effect will be much better. 2. Be a patient and positive parent. When faced with adolescent children, many parents easily lose patience and forcefully discipline them. This will not only be ineffective, but will also aggravate the child\’s resistance. Parents should adjust their mentality, blame less, be more considerate, and be more patient and tolerant. Cultivate children\’s good character of hard work and diligence. CCTV recommends over 500 excellent documentaries with high scores. Children will become self-disciplined and addicted after watching it. Only children who can learn will have real and long-term happiness. Educate your children not to be superstitious about genius, but to believe in diligence. Create a good family learning atmosphere, go to places that have a good impact on children, and try to avoid the impact of bad environments on children. 3. As a parent who cares about your children, the best way to establish a good relationship with children at this stage is equality and respect. Parents should try to think from their children\’s perspective, leave a certain amount of space for their children, and avoid interfering or intruding too much. Don’t just focus on your child’s learning, pay more attention to the things your child comes into contact with, and try to prevent your child from being adversely affected. Parents should pay great attention to this. It is best to clarify the truth with the children when they are in the first grade of junior high school, explain the dangers, and \”make a three-part agreement.\” When signs of these problems appear, discover them early and take action early.