What should I do if my child is not close to his parents?

Writer Chi Li wrote in the book \”Come, Children\”: \”I found that children have been the same from ancient times to the present, but parents have undergone tremendous changes. Now too many parents are only willing to spend money on their children. I am willing to spend time, energy and thought.\” Parents often leave messages in the background, saying that the relationship with their children is becoming more and more distant, and how to alleviate it? Every time I encounter such a problem, I will first ask them to recall, when did this change begin? What was your reaction at that time? Trying to find the problem. But the attitude of parents is often very perfunctory, saying that they don’t know when it started and they don’t know how their children became like this. In fact, the estrangement between a child and his parents must have started from his inner disapproval of his parents, or because his parents have touched his bottom line. Just like one of my best friends, she is usually very kind, but one time when we had afternoon tea together, she answered a call from her mother, and I realized that her gentleness was actually not that much in front of my parents. She yelled: \”I\’m an adult, and I\’m also the mother of a child. Don\’t you think you care too much about me?\” I was a little stunned at that time. How could the usually humble and gentle girl become such a rude person in front of her mother? Is this it? After my best friend hung up the phone, she complained to me. She said that her mother read her diary when she was in junior high school. Later, she stopped writing in her diary, and her mother began to read about it every day. Even if she got married, had a natural birth, or had a cesarean section, it was her mother who said it. Calculate. These days are so depressing, so she especially doesn\’t like chatting with her mother. How parents should educate their children: A complete set of 10 volumes of children\’s education mobi+epub+azw3 Yes, many parents feel that their relationship with their children has changed inexplicably and they are no longer close, but they have not investigated deeply. What causes this? Just like my best friend, if her mother had asked her before reading the diary if she could read it and respected the child\’s wishes, she would have been able to discuss future matters with her. Why would we be in this tit-for-tat situation now? There is a reason why children are not close to their parents. No matter how hard Type 3 parents try, it is difficult to get into their children\’s hearts! The third type of \”special\” parents \”everything happens for a reason.\” The fact that the children are not close to their parents has a lot to do with them, and this cannot be ignored. Especially the following three types of \”special\” parents. 1. Parents who seldom accompany their children. There is a debate topic in \”Qi Pa Shuo\”: \”Do you support that if a father spends less than 12 hours a week with his children, he will be revoked as a father?\” I have read the content this time more than ten times. Parents, They all have their own objective reasons, but few people consider the issue from the child\’s perspective. Fu Seoul talked about this topic with his son, and Duo Le said: \”I don\’t agree. If I cancel, I will have no father!\” But I have to say that parents spend too little time with their children! We all know that the company of parents is an important factor in building a good parent-child relationship. Children cannot grow up on their own and need the company and guidance of their parents. In families that lack the company of their parents, the children will most likely suffer from emotional deficits, communication difficulties, and withdrawn personalities. Because of the lack of communication with their parents, the children\’s personality and outlook on life may not be particularly smooth. It’s been a long time, and the relationship with my parents gradually became alienated. 2. Parents who leave their children to the elderly leave their children to the elderly for work reasons, resulting in a lack of communication for a long time. Children rarely see their parents, so naturally they are not close to them. Some parents may have no choice but to leave their children to the elderly because of their marital status. Even so, you should always communicate with your children. Phone calls and video calls are all good ways. Even if you can\’t be with your child at all times, you still need to care about his physical and mental health. 3. Parents who often yell at their children and have bad tempers will cause pain to their children throughout their lives. Some parents are unhappy at work and yell at their children when something happens. When he was a child, he couldn\’t fight against you, but as he grows older, his self-awareness increases, especially in adolescence, and he easily conflicts with his parents, and the parent-child relationship becomes increasingly cold. Be a parent who grows up with your children. A new study from Pennsylvania State University published in the journal Developmental Psychology shows that high-quality adolescent parenting can lay the foundation for a close parent-child relationship in adulthood. My cousin’s family had a daughter, and I went to visit with my family. At that time, my aunt kept saying, you should hurry up and have another baby! I said to my aunt with a bit of embarrassment: \”It\’s easy to give birth to children now, but it\’s so difficult to raise them!\” From the time the child was born to now, I have bought more than 100 parenting books, including some that are difficult to chew. Books, such as \”American Academy of Pediatrics Encyclopedia of Parenting\”, \”American Academy of Pediatrics Encyclopedia of Psychological Parenting\”, \”Sears Encyclopedia of Intimacy Parenting\”, etc. As my children grow up, I am also learning about adolescence in advance. I dare say that when I was in school, I was not so serious. Even so, my child and I would sometimes have conflicts, get angry, and lose our tempers. If I can’t raise a child, how could I dare to have another child? When your child is young, you take care of his food, clothing, housing, and transportation, and you also provide early education and enlightenment. When you get older, you need to start transitioning from kindergarten to primary school. When you enter elementary school, you need to start psychological counseling. You also need to keep up with nutrition, so as not to delay the child\’s growth. What are the growth characteristics of children of each age group? How to communicate with them? What guidance is needed? If it weren\’t for studying, I wouldn\’t know much about it. Therefore, be a growth-oriented parent and grow up with your children. You will find that the children you face at each stage are different, and your parenting and communication methods need to be adjusted. If you can’t keep up, it will be difficult to “win” your child’s favor. Being a parent has an \”expiry date\”. Please be more involved in your child\’s growth within the limited time. Don\’t wait until they grow up and start to regret your past actions and worry about why your children don\’t want to be close to you. By then it\’s already too late!