What happens to children who are often criticized?

What will be the impact if parents often criticize their children? The most intuitive impact is that the child will become a person with low self-esteem. Not only does he not love you, he does not love himself, but he also feels that he is not worthy of being loved! Parents who often criticize their children actually have low self-esteem inside. He thinks the child is not good, but in fact, he is not much better either! A relative of mine is like this. As a result, the child was not close to her, and when she grew up, she married far away, was domestically abused by her husband\’s family, divorced and remarried, and basically had no contact with her original family. When I was a child, I would go to a relative\’s house and I would always see her scolding and scolding her children. No matter how many people were around, she would always scold them with a shameful face. Therefore, I have always been afraid of her and dare not go to her house. Her mother said that the relative was adopted and had a very hard life as a child. After she got married, her family treated her very well, but she was always dissatisfied and felt that everyone was treating her badly. After having a child, she spread all her resentment towards her life on her child, beating and scolding her at every turn, and punishing him severely if he made any mistakes. I also know that she is pitiful, but I still can\’t sympathize with her. She has suffered since childhood, shouldn\’t she be nice to her children? Why has to be this way? The child couldn\’t even lift his head, and he never came back to see her even once after more than ten years of marriage. Therefore, parents who always criticize and lecture their children have not reconciled themselves with themselves, and always have inexplicable expectations for their children. It cannot be said to be very high, but it must be unrealistic. As long as he offends a little bit, he will be punished immediately. But he forgot that he was facing a child whose mind was not yet mature! Essentials for family education: How to encourage children’s progress and self-confidence. What impact will total criticism on children have on them? The summary is as follows: 1. I have no sense of self-identity. I always feel that I am very poor and do not identify with myself. Even if I get high scores in the exam, I still feel that it may be luck rather than the performance of my own strength; 2. I have no self-confidence and think that You are worse than others and can\’t do anything well. You will also become very inferior and timid in doing things; 3. You always feel guilty and feel that it is all your own fault. Some even have psychological disorders and their personalities have changed. Distorted; 4. Promotes rebellious mentality, always goes against parents, disobeys parents, and often runs away from home; 5. Unsociable personality, has few friends. Does not like to communicate with others, refuses to make friends, and becomes very withdrawn; 6. After adulthood, he cannot reconcile with his original family, and rarely interacts with or communicates with him. I think none of these 6 points are what parents hope will appear in their children, right? But if you often criticize and reprimand your children, these may actually appear, and they may appear in the same child. If you want to avoid this from happening, you need to adjust your parenting model to help your children get on the right growth path faster. First, parents’ awareness of self-awakening. Realize first that it is wrong to always criticize your children. It can even be said to be incompetent as a parent. Because you can\’t provide any effective help, you will only criticize the child, right? When you realize that your education method is wrong, you will slowly adjust it. Awakening of consciousness is the first step and the foundation. Only when parents themselves are awakened can they take the following steps 2, 3, 4 or even 5, 6, and 7changes. Just like my relative, she never realized that there was something wrong with her way of educating her children. Instead, she always blamed her children for being a \”white-eyed wolf\”, saying that she had a miserable life and raised a child who was ungrateful. Every time I hear her talk about this, I feel distressed and sad. Feeling sorry for her child, who actually has such parents; sad, feeling sorry for her, who has raised children for decades, but has never reached the child\’s heart, but has gone further and further away. Second, be honest with your children. This is very important if you are a parent who often criticizes your children. Frankly tell your child that you sometimes did something wrong in the past and often criticized your child. I hope he can forgive you. In the future, you will try to reduce the number of criticisms and adjust the way you communicate with your child. Frankness does not mean that you should tell your child, \”Mom is a mother for the first time, too.\” Then the child may say, \”It\’s my first time to be a child, too!\” The words are awkward here, and there is no way to continue. Confession can be divided into several steps: 1. Choose a time when the child is relaxed and has no study tasks; 2. Cook some meals for the child that he likes to eat, or take him to his favorite playground; 3. Ask the child sincerely, If you have any opinions about your parents, listen patiently to your child; 4. Be frank and specific, saying that you should not criticize him like that, and hope that he can understand his parents; 5. Let your child tell you the communication methods he expects, including using Which tone of voice is easier for him to accept. Every child is different, and the appropriate communication methods are also different. Parents and children need to explore together what kind of method is comfortable for each other. In this way, the child will feel that you are serious about confessing to him and care about his feelings, and will open up your heart, making it easier to accept the apology from your parents. Finally, read more books and study more. Nowadays, there are many ways to obtain knowledge. You can get it all with a mobile phone. It is very convenient to view parenting information. But I still suggest that parents read more books. Because books are generally relatively systematic, highly targeted and authoritative. Only by reading books first, establishing your own knowledge in the systematic system, and seeing relevant articles or answers can you know how to filter out the ones that are useful and helpful to your children. Otherwise, if you just look at the information on the Internet, it may be one way and another, but you don’t know which one is right? Is it suitable for your own children? Brush up the books at ordinary times, read a few pages a day, read a few books a year, and you can accumulate a lot. If you have time, you can read more books or e-books to systematically understand family education and parenting related knowledge. When you use it, you can also draw inferences. No education method is one-size-fits-all. So, keep an attitude of learning. You will find that your child is becoming more and more sensible, and you no longer need to criticize him all the time. And you have become a parent with a growth mindset, which is great!