How to be a good mother and educate your children correctly

A few days ago, I went to a friend\’s house with great joy to visit my baby who was just one month old. As soon as I walked in, I was shocked by my friend. She had a tired look on her face, heavy dark circles under her eyes, she had lost a lot of weight, and she looked sickly and wilted. I asked her with concern, \”Why are you doing this during confinement? You didn\’t even get any rest, okay?\” My friend\’s eyes turned red, and she pulled me to talk. It turned out that after giving birth to her baby, her milk supply was not very good. She insisted on breastfeeding, so in order to produce more milk, she often asked her baby to cooperate in sucking milk. She coaxes the baby during the day, changes the baby\’s diapers, and feeds the baby at a fixed time every hour. At night, because the child was not sleeping well, she often cried in the middle of the night and had to be held to fall asleep. This made her sleep quality even worse for her already light sleeper. Working day and night, I was exhausted both physically and mentally during the confinement period. My friend\’s experience is heartbreaking and sad. As the most important person in a child\’s growth, mothers will always involuntarily take on the responsibility of raising their children. They must do everything by themselves and try their best to be a good mother. Then they will be too harsh on themselves, embarrass themselves, and even overextend themselves regardless of their own situation and make themselves miserable. In trouble. This situation can\’t help but bring back the \”Iron Man\” memory of my childhood. It is said that \”women are weak by nature, but mothers are strong.\” This sentence has been confirmed by me. Before I got pregnant, I could be said to be a proper \”soft girl\”: I didn\’t have anything to do with anything, I only cared about my 9-to-5 job every day, and I rarely worried about family matters. After pregnancy, as the baby in my belly gradually grew, my identity as a \”mother\” was increasingly strengthened: I heard the fetal heartbeat for the first time, felt the fetal movement for the first time… I was moved by the wonder of it all, and I was full of hope for new life. Looking forward to it, I feel deeply responsible for shouldering it, and I am even more worried about whether my naive self can be a good mother. So, I began to listen to lectures and read various educational and psychological books to learn how to be a good mother. After the child was born, my husband and I raised the child together according to scientific standards. We hoped to take the lead in raising the child, with the elder half participating, and try our best to give the child the best love: making complementary foods, playing games, and telling stories. , do everything by myself; accompany my children attentively, pay attention to their needs, and respond promptly; work hard and conscientiously, pay attention to my words and deeds, hoping to set a good example for my children; I even hide my negative emotions, for fear of being exposed to my children. Half exposed in front of me…lifting bricks with one hand, and accompanying the baby with the other. Many long nights, after I put my children to sleep, I turned on the computer to write copy and make PPT. Every time I feel sad and aggrieved, when I think of my child\’s chubby little face, I can suppress the fatigue in my heart again and again, put on armor, as if I am an indestructible \”Iron Man\”. However, even steel can rust and warp under heavy stress. After giving myself chicken blood injections for a long time, my body became \”weakened\” day by day. Cervical spondylosis, back pain, and migraines came one after another. The pain all over my body made me feel deeply powerless, but I still gritted my teeth and persevered. Later, a small thing changed me. There was a time when my mother-in-law returned to her hometown temporarily, so I had to apply to work from home. Every day, I have to face tedious housework and irregular work, and my children are particularly dependent on me and pester me 24 hours a day. thisIt was all overwhelming and I couldn\’t breathe. At noon that day, I had an urgent phone interview to do. While I was anxious to cook for my children, I was thinking about the interview outline. The child was like a monkey, rubbing against me all the time, insisting that I hold him while cooking noodles. I had no choice but to squat down and hug her, but I didn\’t expect the tearing feeling in my body to hit me again. The pain made me burst into tears. At that moment, I was completely shattered. The child had never seen his mother look like this before and was instantly stunned. She hugged me, wiped my tears with her hands, and said, \”Mom, where does it hurt?\” She also gave me a small bench for me to sit on, and beat my back with her little hands. I gathered my emotions, put the cooked noodles in front of her, and said seriously: \”Mom has a small request. I wonder if you can help?\” \”I have to call an aunt for half an hour. It\’s very… It\’s important, no one can disturb you. Can you finish the noodles by yourself and then play by yourself for a while?\” She nodded. I was on the phone nervously, afraid that the child would break in and worried about whether she could be left alone. Unexpectedly, everything went very smoothly. During this period, she also secretly glanced at the door of the study a few times, but she only confirmed her eyes with me and left quietly. When I finished working, I found that she was painting seriously. See me and hug me happily. At that moment I discovered: It turns out that I don’t need to be strong in front of my children. The occasional \”show of weakness\” made her more tolerant and understanding of me. The boulder in my heart seemed to have been removed, and I felt more relaxed than ever before. The success of \”showing weakness\” that time made me learn to admit defeat and let go. When I am busy, I will act coquettishly with my husband and children, and they seem to like this very much. They often blame me and help me share the burden at the same time. The family atmosphere has also quietly changed. The changes are especially obvious in children. At first, in order to make me \”less worry\”, she learned to eat and collect toys by herself; as she gets older, when she sees me busy, she will take the initiative to do some housework within her ability. I cut my finger and casually said, \”It might get infected if it comes in contact with water.\” The child volunteered to wash the dishes. Because I couldn\’t reach the faucet, I put a table under my feet and started washing in style. There were guests at home and I was too busy, so she helped make the dumplings. Not only did she make them decently, but she was also very fast. She also shared her experience, \”It\’s exactly the same as playing with plasticine. Pinch the skin tightly so that the fillings don\’t leak out.\” Just fine.\” Appropriate \”showing weakness\” is a very meaningful way of getting along and communicating skills in the parent-child relationship. It can not only protect the child\’s nature, but also stimulate the child\’s desire for knowledge and curiosity to the greatest extent. Not only does the child become caring about her family and take on family affairs, her inner drive seems to have been opened up, and she has become more active and independent. She likes to learn and explore new things and master new experiences on her own, and she has also become more independent and powerful. . It is worth mentioning that my husband spends significantly less time in front of the computer and mobile phone. I often show up in the kitchen to show off my cooking skills. Although I am criticized for my \”dark cooking\”, I still \”endure the humiliation\”. Even though I am busy at work, I still set aside a fixed day of \”dad time\” every weekend to spend time with my children, which makes me completely relaxed. ; He also learned to watch my words and emotions. When he saw that I looked bad and was in a depressed mood, even though he didn’t know how to talk sweetly, he would still work hard.Unravel. In the blink of an eye, I already have a son and a daughter. 100% zero yelling parents’ experience on how to educate their children well. Mobi Our family has become more and more cooperative in family matters. And after I shed my \”superman\” shell, I also tasted the taste of happiness. I finally understood that the true happiness of a family is never the support of one person, but the mutual support of the whole family. Some people say that choosing to be a mother means choosing the happiness of being relied on. Being a mother is a blessing. From ten months of pregnancy, to toddlerhood, to babbling, children grow up day by day under our eyes. Being a mother is also hard work. The word \”Mom\” gives us the label of \”selfless\” and \”great\”. For the sake of our children and family, we go through fire and water and try our best everywhere. However, my mother is not an invincible \”Iron Man\”. She will only suffer herself if she insists on being strong. I hope mothers can try to show their vulnerability and helplessness, let go more often, and give their families and children opportunities to express themselves. I also hope that fathers can get more involved in the family and reduce the burden on mothers. Don\’t let mothers be strong and watch alone! Thanks for that “crash”. Let me stop trying to be strong, stop pretending to be invincible, and stop pushing myself into the desperate situation of being a \”Super Mom\”. Thanks for that \”show of weakness\”. Let me learn to act coquettishly, learn to let go, and become a warm, self-confident person who can release love. I am also grateful to my family and children for pulling me back from the abyss. Let me believe: home is not a place to prove yourself. I can be a good enough mother without being \”Iron Man\”.