Four rules for spending time with your children

Parent-child companionship is a key measure that meets the growth needs of children and is also the most important foundation for family education. Without parent-child companionship, there would be no care and education, and no foundation to guide children\’s growth. What kind of companionship is truly conducive to children\’s growth? Parent-child companionship requires love and responsibility, but also understanding and respect. Child-friendly companionship is the companionship that is truly beneficial to children\’s growth. The so-called child-friendliness means respecting children\’s basic rights such as the right to survival, development, protection and participation. It can be said that these are the four rules of parent-child companionship. The first rule is to respect the child\’s right to exist. The right to survival refers to the right of children to enjoy their inherent rights to life, health and basic living security. The right to survival is the prerequisite for the realization of children\’s rights and interests. Loving companionship must first respect children\’s right to survival, and the maximization of children\’s interests must be used as the criterion for measuring the quality of companionship. Taking the right to health as an example, the three elements to ensure children’s health are sleep, diet and exercise. The first is sleep. The Ministry of Education and other ministries and commissions stipulate that primary school students should sleep for 10 hours a day, and junior high school students should sleep for 9 hours. A 2020 survey by the China Youth Research Center shows that nearly 90% of primary school students sleep less than 10 hours a day on study days (Monday to Friday), and more than 80% of junior high school students sleep less than 9 hours. The second is diet. Obese children are everywhere nowadays and need to be paid attention to. The third is exercise. Children need to exercise for at least one hour every day in and out of school. Parents can ask themselves: Did my child do this? What is my responsibility if I fail to do so? Children\’s health comes first. Without health, there is no hope. collection! Download the full set of 108 compulsory courses on how to accompany your children’s growth. The second rule is to respect children’s right to development. The right to development refers to the right of children to fully develop all their physical and intellectual abilities, including the right of children to receive formal and non-formal education, and the right to enjoy living conditions that promote their physical, mental, spiritual, moral and other all-round development. Children\’s development includes physical, intellectual, moral, emotional, social and other aspects of development. Development is a core goal of children. It should be noted that what children need is the comprehensive development of moral, intellectual, physical, artistic and labor, and the formation of a correct world view, outlook on life and values, rather than one-sided abnormal development. But in reality, many parents give one-sided guidance to their children’s development. A survey by the China Youth Research Center found that 65.0% of parents of primary and secondary school students have given their children homework outside of school. On the contrary, many parents neglect their children\’s labor education. Only 1.0% of children regard model workers as their idols. These misunderstandings in family education are very likely to distort children\’s values ​​and need to arouse parents\’ reflection and vigilance. The good news is that some parents\’ views have begun to change. For example, Miao Weihang, a primary school student in Yangzhou City, learned to cook more than 30 dishes with the support and guidance of his parents during the epidemic prevention and control period, which greatly improved his sense of responsibility and living ability. The third rule is to respect children’s right to protection. The right to protection refers to the right of children to be free from discrimination, abuse and neglect. The right to protection is an important part of children’s rights, and its purpose is to reducereduce adverse factors in children\’s survival and development. In China today, the phenomenon of beating and scolding children has decreased a lot, which is progress. However, it is still common for children to be mentally discriminated against or harmed through verbal violence. Although many parents do not intend to harm their children, their negative explanation style can be a detriment to their children. Explanation styles are divided into positive explanations and negative explanations. Positive explanations lead to confidence and optimism in children, while negative explanations lead to pessimism and despair. Parents\’ explanation style over time will profoundly affect their children\’s personality development. For example, when a child\’s test scores are unsatisfactory, parents will explain it as the child is \”too stupid to learn anything\” or \”is not born to learn\”, etc. These are typical negative explanations, which are to explain the child\’s failure. Interpreted as permanent, universal, personal, in short unchangeable. This negative explanation has no scientific basis, but it has become a spiritual shackles for children\’s development. Parents need to change negative interpretations into positive ones in order to truly protect the healthy development of children. The fourth rule is to respect children’s right to participate. Children\’s right to participate refers to children\’s rights to participate in family, cultural and social life. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child stipulates: “States Parties shall ensure that children who are able to form their own opinions have the right to freely express their opinions on all matters affecting children, and that the opinions of children shall be given due weight in accordance with their age and maturity.” Family education is not just one-way education from parents to their children, but a process in which parents and children learn from each other and grow together. Only by respecting children\’s right to participate and encouraging children to actively participate in family life with a sense of ownership can it be possible to promote the construction of parent-child relationships and the healthy growth of children. It is a common phenomenon that today\’s family education ignores children\’s participation, but practice has proved that modern children are increasingly capable of participating in family education. For example, the family meeting model is popular among many families in Suzhou Science and Technology City Experimental Primary School. Because of the active participation of children, many family life problems have been solved; Hangzhou Chongwen Experimental School allows students to participate in the selection of outstanding parents, which significantly improves the quality and role of the selection. . Children most need the loving companionship of their parents, and true loving companionship is emotional and rational companionship, and is truly child-friendly companionship.