How to teach a 2-year-old child who has a bad temper

If there are children at home, we often encounter situations where the child loses control of his emotions and cries loudly. Sometimes, no matter how much he is coaxed, it won\’t work. Many parents feel overwhelmed and upset when their children lose control of their emotions. Today, I will write about some brain science knowledge and tell you how to use this knowledge to effectively control children’s tantrums. 01 About the upper and lower brains Daniel Siegel, a famous psychologist and a doctor of medicine from Harvard University, compared the human brain to a two-story building, divided into upper brain and lower brain. The lower part is called the lower brain. This area is relatively primitive and is responsible for basic functions (breathing and blinking); innate reactions and impulses; strong anger, fear, etc. When a child was playing outside, a big dog suddenly ran over and startled the child. This kind of fear is a person\’s instinctive reaction without thinking when encountering danger. The upper brain is more evolved than the lower brain. It controls some advanced analytical thinking functions, such as planning, thinking, imagination, control, etc. It\’s raining outside, and the child wants to go out to play, but his father won\’t let him go out. At this time, the child starts to lose his temper. This behavior is intentional. The upper and lower brains work best together when the upper brain can monitor the behavior of the lower brain and help the lower brain calm down strong reactions, impulses and emotions. For children, their lower brains are generally mature, but their upper brains are not yet mature. A person\’s upper brain does not mature until they are in their twenties. In this way, we can understand that the reason why a child loses his temper easily is because his upper brain is not fully developed. A complete set of cute eyes to see the world and the history of life on earth on Baidu Cloud, a whole-brain science lesson for children aged 4-12 years old 02 Identifying emotions and \”symptomatic treatment\” Usually, children lose their temper and the external manifestations are roughly the same, so many parents use the same method To solve the problem, in fact, children\’s temper tantrums can be divided into two situations: one is an intentional behavior controlled by the upper brain; the other is an instinctive reaction controlled by the lower brain without thinking. 1. Anger from the upper brain that refuses to give in. If a child is having a tantrum to achieve a certain goal, it is intentional. For example: a child wants his mother to buy him a toy in the mall, but his mother says no, so he sits on the floor and cries loudly; the child refuses to take medicine and beats his mother while crying. This kind of anger usually comes from the upper brain. Many children use these tricks to control adults. As long as they achieve their goals, they will instantly smile. This kind of anger is intentional on the part of the child and can be controlled. In this case, we must stick to our principles and refuse to compromise. If we give in and allow the child\’s \”unreasonable needs\” to be met, the child will think: It turns out that by showing off my temper, I can control adults and satisfy all of my needs. This kind of anger must be extinguished, lest it arise again in the future. 2. Anger from the lower brain requires more patience and comfort. A child losing control of his emotions is an instinctive reaction. For example: the child wakes up and is alone at home, crying out of fear; the child falls down, hits his head against the wall, hurts, and cries loudly. This kind of anger is a child\’s unthinking reaction. At this time, the child\’s upper brain cannot be activated, and the child\’s upper brain cannot be activated.Children will not listen to any preaching from people. In this case, we need to provide comfort through hugs, eye contact, and caring facial expressions. When the child becomes a little calmer, we can use words to activate the child\’s upper brain to make him stop crying. In short, when a child loses his temper, we must first identify the child\’s emotions. Only by correctly identifying children\’s emotions can we \”prescribe the right medicine\” to allow children to effectively control their emotions. 03 Exercise the upper brain As mentioned earlier, the child’s upper brain has not yet matured, and it takes a long time for the upper brain to mature. However, we can take some measures to promote the development of children\’s upper brain. 1. Usually inspire children to think. In life, you can ask questions to your children from all aspects to trigger their thinking. As long as the child thinks, the upper brain must be activated. In addition, when children ask questions, parents do not need to tell the answer directly. They can let the child think first and let him activate the upper brain. When he thinks about it again and again and cannot find the answer, answer the child\’s question again. 2. Let your children make decisions. When a person makes a decision, one needs to think. Although the choices made by the child are not so good, this not only allows the child\’s upper brain to be exercised, but also improves the child\’s choice ability. When the child is very young, we can give him two options and let him choose from them. For example, are you wearing red clothes or blue clothes today? When your children are older, you can ask, should we play basketball or football today? Many choices can often trigger children\’s thinking, so that children\’s upper brain can be exercised. 3. Let your children exercise more. Research shows that body movements directly affect the secretion of chemical substances in the brain. This substance can calm the amygdala (belonging to the lower brain). At this time, the upper brain can be activated and the upper and lower brains of people can operate in an integrated manner. Usually, parents can take their children to run, play ball, play games, etc. 04Written at the end, have you discovered that just learning a little bit of brain science knowledge is of great help to our parenting? In fact, if we know a little bit about brain science, we can better understand children\’s emotions, improve children\’s concentration, and improve children\’s mental health. In short, if we want to educate our children better, we must follow the rules of children\’s development and understand some brain science knowledge.