What should I do if my 3-4 year old child loses his temper? What are the reasons?

Children lose their temper easily and break out at the smallest things, which causes headaches for many parents. Some people say that this is because the child is spoiled, but they usually do not spoil their children without any bottom line. Children lose temper easily, what’s going on? how to respond? How to reduce your child\’s tantrums? 01 Regarding toddler tantrums, it is actually very common for children to have emotional outbursts, especially when they are tired, hungry, or feeling unwell. It most often occurs in children aged 1-3 years old. This is because children at this age are not yet able to express and manage their emotions. Sometimes, children may also want to express their strong demands or wishes through some exaggerated behaviors. Later, it slowly decreases as age increases. Some children do not receive reasonable guidance and help, or because they need more time to learn self-emotion management. These symptoms can last until after the age of 4. Some children are prone to anger because of their sensitive personalities, and their emotional outbursts are more frequent and severe. Children have various manifestations when they lose their temper. Some are angry, frustrated or out of control. Some are crying, screaming, stiff limbs, leaning back, kicking or falling to the ground. Some even hold their breath, Vomiting, throwing things, or being extremely aggressive. 02How to minimize children’s tantrums? The essence of reducing a child\’s tantrums is to reduce the reasons for the child\’s tantrums. Directions that can be tried include: helping children understand their own emotions. After the child is born, we can start to use various words to express emotions and feelings, such as happy, sad, angry, hungry, tired, comfortable, etc. Carefully identify and note down triggers that cause your child to throw tantrums, such as fatigue, hunger, fear, overstimulation, etc. If your child is particularly prone to tantrums in these situations, you can avoid these triggers by planning ahead. For example, children are prone to outbursts when they are sleepy. So every time you go out, try to choose after the child wakes up from a nap before going out. When the child dealt with something frustrating, he did not lose his temper in the process. This can be actively encouraged and discussed with the child about how they feel at this time. For example, you can tell the child: When you were playing with building blocks, they collapsed several times, but you did not lose your temper because the building blocks collapsed. At this time, you feel How about it? Do you feel that you are very powerful and patient? If your child loses his temper, you can talk to your child about the tantrum after the temper has passed. For example, \”You just threw the toy away and felt angry. Is it because it can\’t move like usual?\” \”Do you think that in addition to losing your temper, there is something else we can do to make you less angry?\” ?” Parents set a good example when dealing with stress or frustration. For example, \”There are too many red lights. We may be late, but I can calm myself down by taking a deep breath.\” 03 How to deal with children\’s tantrums? Sometimes, no matter what we do, our children will still have a tantrum. So, how to deal with a child\’s tantrums depends on the age of the child. For example, for young children aged 1 to 3 years old, it may be more useful to accompany them closely, actively comfort them, and tell them to understand their feelings. What should I do if my child has a bad temper and is irritable? This will solve the problemFor older children, you can try the \”5-step soothing method\”: discover the emotion, name the emotion, pause (this emotion), provide support after the child calms down, and solve the cause of the emotion. Regarding dealing with children losing their temper, here are the following 6 points for reference in the actual operation process: 01 Try to stay calm, even if you are very excited inside, try to behave calmly. When the child\’s emotions explode, if the parents themselves become excited or even yell Beating and scolding children will only make the atmosphere more tense and will not help solve the problem. 02 Stay with the child and wait for the emotion to subside. When the child has lost control of his emotions, don\’t try to reason, because it is difficult for the child to listen to reasoning at this time. You can try staying with your child, just make sure the child is safe. If the situation allows, you can also try to use a calm tone to tell the child that you understand his/her feelings. For example, if a child always fails in the last step of building blocks and becomes anxious, collapses, and loses control of his emotions, parents can try to tell the child: \”When the last block was put on, all the blocks fell over, and I was very angry, right?\” Such a message Passing can give children an emotional buffer and prevent further meltdowns. 03 Appropriate persistence and consistent action When children have emotional outbursts, parents should still maintain their own judgment and not blindly compromise or easily change the rules or boundaries they usually set just because their children have emotional outbursts. For example, if a child has an emotional outburst because he wants to get something, then he should not give the child such a thing, so as to avoid sending the wrong signal to the child that \”as long as he makes a fuss hard enough, he can get such a thing.\” Being consistent and persistent in your coping style and attitude is key to reducing the frequency and severity of your child\’s emotional outbursts. 04 Active Prevention As mentioned earlier, children lose their temper and have emotional outbursts because they do not yet know how to express their emotions. Therefore, during the parenting process, attention should be paid to guiding and encouraging children to learn to express their emotions. For example, if you see that your child\’s mood is ups and downs, you can try to ask what\’s going on, why you feel angry, and what you want to do about it? etc. When children learn to use emotional words such as \”angry\” to express, praise them promptly. 05 Don’t let children get rewards or benefits because of emotional outbursts. Older children understand more about cause and effect. If the children’s demands expressed every time they have an emotional outburst are met, the child may mistakenly think that doing so will achieve the goal. Therefore, when children lose their temper, sometimes they need to \”not care\” and pretend to be busy in their own way to deal with it. This is especially important for older children. For example, when a child loses his temper and a parent yells at the child or compromises, this response may be a reward for the child because the child gets the parent\’s response and compromise. 06 There should be zero tolerance for harmful or destructive behaviors. Children who harm themselves or others when they have emotional outbursts should be stopped as soon as possible and a zero-tolerance attitude should be adopted. For example, if a child hits a wall when he is angry, he should stop it immediately and hold him away, so that the child clearly knows that this is absolutely not allowed. The above six points are the basic directions and principles for dealing with children’s temper tantrums and emotional outbursts. keepHaving a baby is not easy, even if we do our best according to the book, things may not develop in the direction we expect. Therefore, when you see the trick, just grasp the general direction and don\’t make it too difficult for yourself or your children.