How to resolve conflicts between children and adults

\”Every child has the potential to become an outstanding person. It is the different daily education of parents that gives children a different life.\” Being a parent is not easy. Every word we say and everything we do affects our children\’s growth in a subtle way. Before the age of 12, the parents\’ education style determines the child\’s life background; after the age of 12, the parents\’ education attitude determines the child\’s life height. On the road to parenting, how can we raise a promising child? In fact, every stage of a child’s growth has specific rules and needs. Only by grasping the three important growth stages of children will it become easier and easier to educate them, and will their children become better and better. Before the age of 6: Sow the seeds of \”security\” in children\’s hearts. Relevant research shows that 0-6 years old is the period when children have the strongest emotional needs, and it is also an important stage for children to establish a sense of security and belonging. The love and care from parents is like spiritual food for children\’s growth and an important guarantee for their mental health. It is indispensable. Although as the age grows, memories before the age of 6 will gradually become blurred in the child\’s mind. But every timely concern, every gentle comfort, and every warm hug from parents will give their children enough sense of security and establish a strong emotional connection with them. However, it is precisely in the age group of 0-6 years that some parents put their main energy into work in order to provide a better growth environment for their children, so that they neglect to pay attention to their children. Over time, young children will develop the illusion of being \”abandoned\”, and the younger they are, the greater the psychological trauma caused by the lack of emotional support and the more difficult it is to make up for it. In the hit drama \”Little Joy\”, Ji Yangyang, a rebellious boy, has been fostered at his grandmother\’s house since he was a child because his parents were busy with work. During his childhood when he most needed to gain a sense of security from his parents\’ love, Ji Yangyang did not receive timely company and care from his parents. The lack of family affection became an irreparable pain in Ji Yangyang\’s heart. It also made him withdrawn, indifferent, and rebellious after he entered adolescence. Not only did he have poor grades, he often got into fights and got into trouble. When the family of three lived together again, Ji Yangyang\’s parents realized that they had missed an important growth stage of their children over the years, and had invisibly distanced themselves from their children. He had no choice but to use more companionship and tolerance to warm his son\’s heart in exchange for Ji Yangyang\’s return to his lost ways. Some parents may say: Parents are busy all year round, don’t they just want to make their children’s lives better? When you spend all your time making money to support your family, how can you still have the energy to spend time with your children every day? In fact, giving children enough love and attention does not require parents to stay with their children 24 hours a day, but rather not to ignore their children\’s emotional changes for a long time, and to respond promptly when their children need to talk or be cared for. The key to educating children is not the oppression of identity or the use of violence. It is the establishment of a close emotional relationship between children and their parents before the age of 6, so that the child always knows that he is deeply loved by his parents. While the child is still young, let him live in a family surrounded by love and have enough security and companionship from his parents. truly healthyGrow up healthily and happily, become confident and responsible, have the ability to love yourself, and have the ability to warm more people with love. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries. Children aged 6-12 years old are addicted to self-discipline after watching the pattern explosion: love and rules go hand in hand, cultivating children\’s habits. 6-12 years old is a critical period for children to develop habits and shape their character. Therefore, it has been likened by many people to the \”cement period that is solidifying\”. During this stage of growth, 85% to 90% of a child\’s ideas, habits, personality and lifestyle, once formed, will have an important impact on the future and will be difficult to change when they grow up. For a child, family is the cradle of his growth, and parents are the first teachers who shape his character. The kind of person you want your children to be when they grow up can be traced in the family education they receive since childhood. The year before last, Ju Xintong, a girl who rose to prominence in the traditional Chinese culture program \”Descendants of the Dragon,\” had already memorized 1,919 poems at the age of 10. At such a young age, she can not only rely on clues to deduce the corresponding poems, she has also defeated Peng Min, the champion of the \”Chinese Poetry Conference\” (Season 5). Ju Xintong’s excellence is due to the education her parents gave her since childhood. She came into contact with ancient poetry at the age of 3 and started learning at the age of 5. Under the guidance of her parents, Ju Xintong developed the self-discipline habit of studying and reciting an ancient poem every day, and reviewing and consolidating it every week and every month. At the same time, Ju Xintong’s father also led by example and set an example. Use your daughter\’s free time when she goes to and from school and travels to compete with her children about poetry, creating a family environment with a strong learning atmosphere for her daughter, so that her children can turn learning and reading into a way of life. Ju Xintong\’s father once said: \”In their home, there are Chinese studies books everywhere. They are on the sofa, desk, dining table, bedside, and toilet, and you can read them at any time. The TV wall at home is where my daughter and I The poems written have poetic elements in every corner of the house.\” Good family education is not about becoming \”friends\” with children, treating letting go as waiting for flowers to bloom, and treating indulgence as \”love\” education. Rather, at the age when it is most appropriate to set rules for children, first establish a sense of awe and become a role model for children, and then communicate like friends. The clearer the rules we set for our children, the better it will be for them to develop good habits from an early age, and they will not make trouble unreasonably or say \”no\” to willful laziness. When we enforce the rules gently and firmly, we will not arouse children\’s rebellious psychology, and our persistence in principles and positions can help children learn to distinguish right from wrong from an early age. Only when we explore children\’s character strengths under rules, teach children to draw on the strength of their character, and guide them to develop their strengths in their areas of expertise can we allow children to grow better. Before the age of 12, set rules for your children in a timely manner at the age when they have the most plasticity. Parents’ education will accompany your children throughout their lives, teach them how to behave, and guide them to move in a better direction on the road of life. After the age of 12: Respect and support to help children find their life position. After the age of 12, children enter a new stage of growth. The arrival of adolescence makes children have a stronger sense of autonomy, their thoughts gradually become independent, and they have a better understanding of things.own judgment and choice. Children at this stage of growth seem to have changed as individuals. They begin to desire to be in charge of everything themselves, rebel against parental discipline, and value their privacy and secrets. The previous picture of \”a loving mother and a filial son\” is no longer replaced by the constant opposition and conflict like \”a needle against a wheat awn\”. Changes in children\’s growth stages also mean that parents must change their education methods accordingly to avoid alienation in the parent-child relationship. After the age of 12, the key words of family education are respect, support and timely letting go. Rather than controlling, interfering, and sternly preaching, we might as well play a \”guiding role\” first, identify the child\’s personality, find an education method suitable for the child, and use softness to overcome hardness. Writer Liu Yong once told his son Liu Xuan\’s adolescent growth experience in his book: Liu Xuan went through a period of rebelliousness when he entered middle school. He was tired of studying, disobedient, and had poor grades. Every day he dreamed of becoming a racing driver like Schumacher. . Regarding his son\’s performance, Liu Yong did not choose a rough education method. Instead, he made an agreement with his son in a different way: racing driver Schumacher once scored 0 points in the exam. If Liu Xuan also scored 0 points in the exam after answering the full test paper, he would let it go. Leave him alone. At first, Liu Xuan thought this request could not be simpler. But later he discovered that no matter how confused and random he answered, he could not get a real 0 points. After several passes, Liu Xuan discovered that it is not easy to get a score of 0 on the exam. Only by studying hard first, answering every question in the exam with correct answers, and being able to get a perfect score can he ensure that he will eventually get the exam. A score of 0 points. When he got his first 0 points in the exam, Liu Xuan understood his father\’s painstaking efforts. After that, Liu Xuan changed his mind. He no longer wanted to be a racing driver like Schumacher. Instead, he worked hard to get into Harvard University and became a writer and speaker. Children in adolescence always regard their parents as imaginary enemies and think that their parents are people who stand against them. In this regard, what we have to do is to try to avoid completely denying the child\’s interests and preferences in the process of communicating with and educating the child, and strive to develop into a \”friend\” of the child, showing that we are on the same side as the child. Continuous denial will intensify the child\’s rebellion and the development of inferiority complex. But timely respect and support will make your children open up to you and listen to your advice. Instead of focusing on the child\’s shortcomings, it is better to explore the child\’s potential and help the child find the correct position in life with the help of the child\’s personality characteristics and strengths. On this basis, children will feel self-worth and usher in their highlight moments under the guidance of their parents. Children are constantly growing, parents are also growing, and family education is getting better with the constant changes in methods. When the child needs dependence most, give him enough love and security; when the child is growing rapidly, point out the direction and set an example for him; when the child needs understanding the most, give him the right amount of respect and recognition. When we grasp the three important growth stages of children, fully understand the characteristics of children in each period, and constantly adjust our own education methods, parenting will become easier and easier, and children will grow better and better. I hope that every child will grow up healthy, happy and excellent in a loving parent-child relationship.