How to encourage children so that they will work harder

I took a break on the weekend and made an appointment with some mothers to go hiking together. During the picnic, the child Ruirui was holding a book and was so fascinated by it that he even stopped eating his favorite sausage. At this time, a mother said with envy: \”Your child is so self-disciplined! He can\’t put down his books when he comes out to play. Unlike this kid in my family, who only knows how to play all day long. It\’s like killing him to read a book. You How do you educate him?\” Ruirui\’s mother said: \”Actually, I don\’t educate him very much. He prefers reading and is quite conscious about his studies.\” Then, everyone discussed their children\’s behavior one by one. . Some people lamented: When raising children, why are some children motivated and motivated, while others are procrastinating? In fact, whether a child will be \”positive\” or \”study-weary and rebellious\” in the future is not determined by the child, but is closely related to the attitude of the parents. In particular, parents\’ attitudes toward these matters determine whether their children will take the initiative to work hard in the future. Encouragement vs. denial after the exam I think most parents are like this. If the child does well in the exam, he will be praised. If the child does not do well, he will say something like this: \”Why are you so stupid? You can\’t even do such a simple question.\” \”Look at other people. In the past, their grades were not as good as yours. This time, even his grades are not as good as yours.\” Can\’t compare.\”… These words may seem innocuous, but they are telling the child \”You are stupid, you can\’t do it.\” When a child fails to do well in an exam and encounters criticism and denial from his parents, he will be burdened with tremendous pressure. Slowly, not only will his grades get worse, but his self-confidence will also get worse and worse, until he becomes tired of studying. After the exam, parents should see their children\’s learning attitudes, learning methods, and learning problems through numbers, encourage their children with \”words\”, and influence their children with \”examination\”. Encouragement from parents can allow children to explore more potential. Children who are often encouraged will not be proud and complacent, but will have more self-confidence. Encouragement is a way to help children build a \”sense of achievement\” so that they know their own value and have the motivation to do better. Controlling freedom during the arrangement vs. letting him choose a netizen to \”complain\” about his mother: I was reading a book seriously in the room. My mother came in, took the book out of my hand and said \”Don\’t read this kind of non-nutritious thing\”, and then took a Here comes the exercise book. After my mother’s move, netizens were very unhappy and suddenly no longer wanted to study. This passage resonated with many people. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! All people, including children, have three basic psychological needs: a sense of belonging, a sense of autonomy, and a sense of competence. Among them, a very important point is the sense of autonomy. Parents intentionally or unintentionally arrange things for their children, but they are actually depriving the child of his sense of autonomy and making him lose his internal drive. Only when a child is interested in something, he will be willing to take the initiative to do it. When a child is immersed in the things he loves, he will develop his brain power, improve concentration, energy, motivation and be stress-free. Therefore, only by giving children autonomy, allowing them to find the majors they are interested in and the direction of their hard work, and creating a pleasant learning environment for them can we raise a happy child. Give him honors vs. material rewards when motivating him. \”If you can get 100 points this time, I willI’ll buy you a mobile phone! \”As long as I can recite this ancient poem, I will buy you a toy.\” \”After you finish eating, I\’ll let you play with your phone.\” This kind of dialogue must be familiar to every parent. Parents want to use \”lure\” to stimulate their children\’s motivation. However, material rewards give children \”passive efforts\” and cannot stimulate their children\’s internal drive. A scholar once shared a story. He used to ask his son to write essays, and the child was always lazy. No matter whether it was to lure him, accompany him, or use it as a document to inspire him, it was of no use. By chance, he sent his son\’s essay to The online social platform was highly praised, and the reading volume soared. At that moment, the son felt his \”moment of glory\”, and then he seemed to have an enlightenment. He couldn\’t stop writing compositions. Let the children have a sense of \”being noticed\” \”The sense of honor of \”being loved\” is inside, which will subtly change his every move and awaken the child\’s inner life force. Constantly preaching during communication VS listening to a girl. During an exam, a girl felt unwell and could not concentrate on answering the questions. As a result, her test scores were very unsatisfactory. After the results came back, her mother kept accusing her, saying that she was \”stupid and didn\’t work hard\”. She explained several times that it was because she had a stomachache at the time. But her mother didn\’t listen: don\’t make excuses , I think you just want to piss me off to death. This mother doesn’t know that in every self-righteous preaching she gives, it is not the mother-child relationship that is hurt. Because not being listened to and endless preaching buries a seed in the child’s heart. The rebellious \”bomb\” won\’t be recognized by my parents anyway. I just can\’t do it anyway, so I just break it. Listening is the most important way of communication. Being listened to means being accepted, understood and supported. Children have this layer of protection. , their lives will be more motivated. I saw a post on the Internet, and a mother asked: \”My child\’s grades have seriously declined, and the teacher asked him to be a parent. What should I say to him?\” \”A netizen replied: \”No need to say anything, just listen to what he says. \”If you find that your child\’s performance has declined, first listen to what the child has to say. Why did his performance decline? Did he have a mental problem during this period? Did he encounter anything? In this way, you are not only respecting him, but also helping him. Solve the problem. Emotional Anxiety VS Acceptance Parents\’ restlessness will put children in a high-pressure environment and become fearful, nervous, and depressed. In this way, parents will slowly make their children lose their autonomy. Sometimes, accepting children is more important than anything else. Educational methods are all important. Every child has a different nature, and they should have different ways of becoming successful and growing up. Education is not a factory casting, and there is no universal standard production model. A unique life is worth working for. A Regarding the lack of \”children\’s internal drive\”, the writer summarized this paragraph: Helping children at critical moments and creating opportunities for children to believe in their own abilities can make children truly believe that they have the power to make themselves better. If parents want to have a \”good for him\” heart, they must work hard to: encourage more when they are frustrated; show more respect when making arrangements; give more suggestions when making choices; listen more when communicating; be more accepting when educating. Give your children a warm and tolerant life , support, understanding and encouragement growth environmentOnly within this environment can children be able to do what they like freely, confidently and consciously, and complete their own life projects.