Is it normal for children not to want to go out to play?

My friend Hu Li sent a message asking, how can we cultivate our son’s social skills? I asked her why, and she said: \”He is already 11 years old. He always stays in the room while other students are playing wildly outside. He is not moved at all. I look anxious. I am afraid this child is not capable.\” What\’s the problem?\” \”Have you ever asked the teacher to find out if your child is alone at school?\” \”I asked, but the teacher didn\’t say the child was alone, and said he was quite normal at school.\” \”In this case, why bother? Just let him go.\” \”I always feel that this child is a little abnormal. Look at the little boy in such a big community, Jin is very naughty and playful, but my son has nothing to do with it. I\’m afraid that he will become autistic in the future. It\’s impossible for a person to walk in this society!\” Don\’t force your children to socialize. As a mother, I can understand Hu Li\’s worries. She is afraid that her son will get used to being alone. Isolated and helpless in life and society. But being too entangled in the child\’s \”independence\” ignores that when the child is in school, it is not that he does not communicate with his classmates. This shows that Hu Li\’s son just likes to be alone, but he does not become an \”autistic\” child because of being alone, as his mother thought. Many parents seem to have this kind of worry in life. When they find that their baby is unwilling to interact with others, they feel that there is a personality problem. Being too introverted is not conducive to the growth of the child. In order to help them improve their social skills, they will do their best to encourage children to communicate with others. This kind of encouragement from parents is purely \”for the good of the child\” and prepares him for the future, but they do not consider whether the child likes this kind of forced social interaction. A male friend I know who is over 30 years old shared what happened when he was a child. He said that in his childhood memories, his parents always pushed him away. He was asked to perform in front of his relatives, saying it was to improve his courage; he was told to play with his friends for two hours a day, said to be so he could have more friends. But now this friend is not the king of socializing. On the contrary, he dislikes crowded places and is unwilling to go out. He is a complete homebody. We have been friends for many years but see each other only rarely. He said that every time he had to deal with people, he felt very panicked. He thought of the scenes when his parents forced him to perform and go out to play with others when he was a child. You see, not all children like to go out and play, and not all social interaction has a positive impact on children. Even though social skills are important, being forced to socialize will only be counterproductive for children who like to be alone, making them hate social interaction even more! Being alone is a kind of ability. Parents always want to let their children learn to socialize. They feel that children with strong social skills will have a bright future. In fact, being alone is a rare quality and a rarer personal ability than social interaction! 1. Being alone can reduce children\’s dependence on their parents. Parents are the first person responsible for the baby\’s contact. In the process of growing up, many things are guided by their parents, so children have a strong sense of dependence on their parents. Especially for families that are accustomed to taking care of all the affairs in their children\’s lives, their children will have a stronger sense of dependence. But for children who are relatively capable of being alone, they like and are good at staying in one place by themselves, whether they are playing or not., in a daze, this kind of child is more focused on his own world, whether it is personal abilities or emotions, and rarely relies on his parents. Being alone enhances children\’s sense of independence and gains a good sense of self. Children who like to be alone usually have a strong sense of independence and have a good self-perception. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! British psychoanalyst, Donald Winnicott pointed out: The ability to be alone refers to \”the power of an individual to get along with himself\”. It is a kind of good dialogue with the inner heart that can still be carried out on specific occasions and times when no other people are present. ability. Children who like and are used to being alone not only have a strong sense of independence, but they are also often mentally strong. When encountering problems, they are better at solving them on their own rather than relying on others. Children of this type will realize earlier that they are independent individuals. 2. Being alone is more conducive to the development of children\’s creativity, thinking, and imagination. Being with others. Although children\’s social skills have been developed, in the bustle of people, all children\’s attention is focused on playing with others. Children who are good at being alone will have more active thinking in a quiet environment. Be good at thinking, creativity and imagination will also develop in the process of thinking. How to cultivate children\’s ability to be alone. If the ability to be alone is developed well in childhood, they will be more purposeful and clear about what they want as adults. As parents, we should cultivate children\’s ability to be alone in a timely manner rather than socializing. How to cultivate your baby\’s ability to be alone? There are two methods you can try, especially the first one, which mainly comes from mom and dad. The first point is to give children a sense of emotional security. Do you know what kind of children are more willing to be alone? It is those children who are emotionally secure enough. They are paid attention to and accompanied by their parents in daily life, so when they are alone, they will not panic due to lack of emotion. Some studies have pointed out that the formation of children\’s ability to be alone comes from the individual\’s \”experience of being alone\” in infancy. In other words, children\’s emotional needs are met in solitude with family around them. Therefore, if children want to develop the ability to be alone as they grow up, parents should spend more time with them when they are young and give them sufficient security. 2. Cultivate children’s reading habits. In terms of their ability to be alone, my brothers and sisters are pretty good. They don\’t stick to me and my dad like their peers. Most of the time, the situation at home is that everyone is busy with their own affairs. Friends around me always ask me if I have any tips for raising two children who are capable of being alone. In fact, there is no special trick. In addition to providing them with daily companionship, it is to cultivate the reading habit of the two children. Reading not only enriches their rich inner world, but also exercises their ability to be alone. These two types of cultivation of children\’s ability to be alone are directly related to parents. It can be said that, except for special circumstances, children\’s ability to be alone is not innate. Parenting Tips: A healthy ability to be alone must be based on healthy emotions. Therefore, parents who want to cultivate their baby\’s ability to be alone need to pay special attention to these two points! Many adults around me can\’t do itWhen they are alone, their inner beings are empty and chaotic, as if they are rescuing themselves with the help of external forces. In fact, the best way to gain clarity is to be alone. The inability of adults to be alone is mainly due to the inability to be alone as children. This shows how much influence a person\’s ability to be alone has on his or her life!