Living on campus or studying day out? Don’t let the tears after the high school entrance examination become your final regret

Dear parents, today we are going to talk about a topic that troubles many families – after their children enter junior high school, should they live on campus or go to school? I know that many parents think, oh, it’s great for their children to live in school. They can exercise their independence, have more contact with teachers, and have more secure learning. But I want to tell you, you really need to think twice before doing this! The gap between the \”beautiful fantasy\” of living on campus and reality. Let\’s first talk about why so many parents have such high expectations for living on campus. You see, when children live in school, parents are liberated. They don’t have to wake up, do homework, or go to bed every day. It feels like they can finally take a breather. But actually? This is often the beginning of a \”nightmare\”. I remember a student I taught, Xiaojie, was the top student in the class when he was in the first grade of junior high school. He had stable grades and strong self-discipline. When school started in the second grade of junior high school, his parents felt that their children should be more independent, so they let him live on campus. The results of it? In just six months, Xiaojie\’s grades plummeted, slipping from the top ten in his grade to the bottom. Why? It turned out that he was obsessed with mobile games and stayed up all night playing hacking games with his roommates at night. I would also play in the middle of the night when I went home on weekends, and my parents discovered me several times. My study state completely collapsed, and I became impetuous. According to a survey of junior high school students, nearly 30% of students who live on campus said that their learning efficiency has declined compared with when they were day students. More than half of the students admitted that dormitory life makes them more easily distracted. The main triggers include mobile games, social activities, etc. You have to guard against the four major \”pitfalls\” of living on campus: 1. If you let yourself go at home, your parents will be watching you, so you have to be disciplined in your studies; living on campus is a \”free paradise\” for your children. Children with poor self-awareness can easily let themselves go, not studying, playing on mobile phones, and just messing around. The Xiaojie I mentioned before is a typical example. He\’s pretty good, at least he was a top student before. But some children are not very interested in learning to begin with. After living in school, they become completely disengaged. They stay up at night and doze off during the day, and their grades plummet. 2. The effect of \”Those who are close to ink are black\”. Adolescent children have awakened their self-awareness and especially want to blend in with their peers. Once you meet a \”bad friend\”, it is easy to be led astray. Xiaojie had never played games before, but after living on campus, his roommates were all game fans, and he was quickly taken away. No matter how much parents control, they can\’t control it. For adolescent children, the words of their parents often fall on deaf ears. 3 The Shadow of Bullying Students living in schools are more likely to encounter bullying, and many children choose to suffer in silence and dare not tell their parents. I once heard of a case where a child was bullied after living in school and had to stand in the corner of the dormitory at night and was not allowed to sleep. Parents don’t know the truth until their children have depression. Adolescent children are reluctant to tell their parents about many things. If they encounter bullying, they can easily choose to face it alone, leading to an emotional breakdown. 4. Energy is expended on unnecessary social interactions. Resident students have to live and study with others and get along 24 hours a day. How to maintain good relationships requires extra energy. After living on campus, children not only have to face study pressure, but also deal with complex dormitory relationships. In order to integrate into the group, some children have to spend a lot of time and energy on socializing, which invisibly distracts their attention from learning. WalkYou may have overlooked the benefits of reading. In contrast, children who go to day schools face classmates during the day and family members at night. The relationship is relatively simple and they do not need to spend too much time and energy on social interaction. Moreover, parents\’ companionship and restraint are an invisible force for children. The famous host Bai Yansong once said: \”I would not let my children live in school, even if it would be extremely hard for my wife and I.\” He knew very well that the three years of junior high school are too important and too difficult for children. During this period, without parental discipline and restraint, children are prone to violent turmoil. Research shows that adolescent children need more parental companionship and communication. Parental presence not only provides children with emotional support but also helps them better cope with the challenges of adolescence. My suggestion: Don’t let your children live in school unless you have to. Of course, I’m not saying that living in school is necessarily bad, but for most children, especially those who are not self-conscious and easily influenced by the outside world, day schooling is a good idea. Might be a better choice. Specifically: 01 Maintain parent-child communication: No matter whether the child attends school or lives in school, close parent-child communication must be maintained. Understand the child\’s thoughts and problems, and provide timely help and support. 02 Establish good study habits: Help children establish good study habits and time management skills at home, so that they can maintain efficient learning even if they live in school. 03 Consider the child’s wishes: When deciding whether to live on campus, fully consider the child’s wishes and feelings. If a child strongly objects to living on campus, parents should respect their child\’s choice. 04 Alternative: If parents really want their children to live in school to develop their independence, they can consider letting their children live in school on weekends or holidays to adapt for a period of time, and then gradually transition to full living in school. In short, there is no absolute answer to whether to live in school or go to school. The key is to make the most suitable choice based on the actual situation of the child and the specific conditions of the family. Remember, there is no regret medicine on the road to education. Don’t wait for the tears after the high school entrance examination to become your final regret.