The behavior of a 7-year-old boy after he got lost in the park made Chinese parents blush!

A child wrote in his diary: I will choose my own clothes this year, but in the end it is not up to my mother to decide! Is there anyone in the world who knows better than me what clothes are suitable for me? I need to decide for myself for once! As written in the diary above, nowadays, compared with Western children, the common weakness of Chinese children is that they lack a sense of independence and are highly dependent. The occurrence of this situation has a great relationship with the parenting style. Our current parents always regard their children as treasures in their hands. They hold them in the palm of their hands for fear of falling off and hold them in their mouths for fear of melting. That love almost includes helping them. Children make all the decisions, resulting in our children being in a mess on their own independence, or having the desire to make decisions, like the example just now, was stifled by their parents, firstly because of distrust of the children, and secondly because the parents took care of everything The result of getting used to it. We parents always use our authority to threaten our children, making them timid, unconsciously suppressing their free development in many aspects, and making children less confident… In the hearts of many parents, no matter how old their children are, they are still their own. Parents always do a lot of things for their children in the name of loving their children on the premise that they think their children will love them. They even hope that their children will not have to do almost anything. When their children grow up, although they also feel that their parents have to worry about them. Too much, but unable to live independently. Therefore, when modern people teach their children, they should abandon the image of parents who work hard and never complain. Instead, they should face up to the objective fact that today\’s children receive more than enough care and insufficient exercise, transfer some of their parents\’ \”rights\”, and give their children more opportunities to make their own decisions. Learn to be lazy. Lazy parents and \”bad\” parents may be better fathers and mothers. We should create some opportunities for children to practice and let them do it by themselves. In fact, isn\’t this a sign of loving the children more? \”Bad\” parents are using their own \”sacrifice\” to give their children the courage to try new tasks and the opportunity to take responsibility. Let the children make their own decisions! \”Bad\” parents should cultivate their children\’s social adaptability by constantly encouraging them. I believe that every parent wants their children to have a sense of responsibility, to think independently, and to be independent. Therefore, children should be trained from an early age to face facts, solve difficulties by themselves, and let children make their own decisions in everything. Perhaps many parents will say that their children are so young and they have to make their own decisions about everything. So what if they suffer a loss? Parents naturally have the instinct to protect their children and prevent them from getting hurt. In order to avoid negative consequences from children making their own decisions, parents usually try their best to help their children make the best choices based on their own experience. But please think about it, parents, aren’t the experiences you call derived from making the same mistakes and later learning from them? And those lessons learned come from mistakes and failures. Parents, please remember that just as even adults will make mistakes, every child should have the freedom to choose, decide and make mistakes. Just because they are young, they cannot not be allowed to make mistakes. It should be the opposite. , let them go through the process of making mistakes and correcting themgrow in. In fact, children can make some simple decisions on their own at a young age. For example, after getting up in the morning, parents can let their children choose the clothes and pants they want to wear, instead of influencing their children\’s choices based on their own preferences. When cultivating children to make their own decisions, parents can also try to give their children two to three choices and let them make their own decisions. This approach can help children practice their ability to make decisions on their own. The following is a mother\’s successful experience in raising her children: In order to cultivate the child\’s sense of autonomy, after my daughter turned three years old, I began to delegate power and try to let my daughter make her own decisions. I usually ask my daughter to help me when cooking rice. I ask her to use a spatula to peel potatoes and select beans… After helping me clean the house a few times, my daughter knows to wipe the high places first, and finally Sweep the floor again. In order to encourage my daughter to make her own decisions, when I go to the supermarket to buy things, I will also ask my daughter for her opinion and allow her to pick one or two things she needs. Gradually, I found that my daughter was getting used to making her own decisions. After listening to the weather forecast every night, she would prepare her own clothes for tomorrow. I would also agree to what gifts to give to the children in my class for their birthdays, as long as my daughter’s request was reasonable. Support her ideas. Of course, there are indeed many inconveniences in letting children make their own decisions, and sometimes the children will be unhelpful, but after all, what they get in exchange is their independence and growth day by day. Letting children make their own decisions is the simplest and easiest way to cultivate children\’s sense of autonomy. As long as parents pay attention, there are still many opportunities in life. When you teach your young child how to make decisions, you can also remind him of the consequences that can result from making the wrong decision. For example, parents can tell their children that if they throw toys randomly on the floor of the room, the possible consequence will be that those toys cannot be found for a while; or they can tell their children that if they decide to play instead of doing homework, the consequence will be that they will be punished by the teacher. Stay for make-up lessons. As children grow up, parents can allow them more freedom to make decisions. As long as the choices or decisions are not illegal and will not cause serious harm, parents can also let their children handle those decisions themselves. consequences to come. If they feel that their children are not mature enough to make decisions on their own, parents should discuss the options with their children and tell them the possible consequences of those choices. As a parent, you also need to always remind yourself to enhance your understanding of your children\’s values ​​and beliefs, and believe that your children have the ability to make the best decisions. The following example may be enlightening to parents: Honghong is only seven years old, but he is already like a little man. When encountering problems, he can usually find his own solution. Honghong\’s parents never make too many decisions for their children. As long as their children can do something, they will never do it for them. They usually let their son experience it for himself and let him make the decisions he can. If Honghong is indecisive, his parents will act as counselors and reason with him, and then still let him make his own decision. One time, his parents took Honghong to play in other places. They were having so much fun playing in a park that their parents suddenly looked for him.No more Honghong. Although his parents felt a little scared, they knew that Honghong remembered his parents\’ mobile phone numbers and would find a way to contact him even if he couldn\’t find them. Sure enough, my father\’s cell phone rang after a while. It turned out to be Honghong\’s call from a public phone in front of a small newsstand. Honghong said on the phone that he would wait for him at the park gate. As soon as his parents arrived at the park gate, Honghong got out of a taxi. After returning home, his parents told their relatives and friends about the incident, and everyone praised Honghong for his strong ability in dealing with things. Only by being a \”bad\” parent and letting your children make their own decisions can they grow up quickly and have their own opinions when encountering problems. Only when children can handle things on their own can parents feel more at ease. Therefore, \”bad\” parents might as well say one more thing to their children: \”Baby, we will listen to you this time.\” If you have agreed to listen to your children on a certain matter, don\’t \”back down\”, even if you do it later. remedy. As for the children\’s own affairs, we should also let them experience the joy of making decisions for once. Try to let your children make their own decisions as much as possible, and never let them form the habit of turning to their parents for help whenever they encounter a choice.