If parents don’t have their own group, how can they cultivate leadership in their children?

Being strong is not about making the world your enemy. On Sunday afternoon, I went to the studio to pick up Ben Ben. I saw a mother who had arrived early scolding a dark, muscular fourth-grade boy who beat her child a few days ago. The mother said, \”You don\’t even think about how many classmates you have beaten, how many parents you have called your dad… the scene was so embarrassing.\” After going downstairs, I said to Benben: \”That brother also learns Taekwondo, but he just likes to beat children. Learning Taekwondo to make yourself stronger is not to make everyone an enemy of you, but…\” \”And You want to protect your team.\” The child took over my words. I wanted to tell him again that even if he is protecting his team, he must use wisdom first and force should only be used as a last resort, but I didn\’t want to disappoint him. After all, when he was little, In the small heart, he has already begun to hold his small group. 7-year-old boy\’s \”running boy\’s group\” Benben is seven years old and in the first grade of elementary school. In his school, he has his own folk group – their \”running boy\’s group\”. He is the captain, Little Cheetah Zheng Kai (who changed the captain without authorization), Feng Li Zhuo is the deputy captain Deng Chao, Cai Yonghong is Li Chen, and Guo Yating is the baby… He seems to know who is strong, who is good at running, who is timid, and who is slippery. When picking him up from school, he would tell me about their day\’s running game while taking out his small piece of paper from his pocket, which recorded the battle situation and out results of their team that day. Sometimes when he was alone at home, he would also use its magnetic sticks or building blocks to imagine his teammates, imitate running men to organize games, and register everyone\’s game records. He couldn\’t write some words yet, so he would either write homophones instead, or mark them with pinyin. The pieces of paper that only children could understand (Ben\’s father said those were similar to Mayan characters) recorded his team or the real world. Or an imaginary battle course. Ben Ben\’s \”Mayan Writing\” Ever since I discovered that Ben Ben had formed his own small team, Ben Ben\’s dad and I never stopped him from \”reviewing\” Running Man. We would even accompany him for a while and occasionally guide him. Pay attention to the setting of the game and the spirit of teamwork. Because we know that what he gets from this program is not only entertainment, but also his little heart\’s yearning for the group. It is such a joy when a child (actually more than just Benben, whose childhood is not like this) can have a happy group of his own outside of the classroom controlled by the teacher. As parents, we should Support him, guide him, help him, encourage him! Parents also need to create their own groups. Fortunately, my father and I also have our own groups – our research group and our reading and writing club. Funny thing is, since having this group, I enjoy going out more and more. Every time I go out, I always get a lot of emotions and feel my own insignificance. I see that there are so many people in the world who are struggling and always have dreams. I am always glad that I can get to know them and become friends with them across time and space. Comrades who move forward together regardless of age and depend on each other. After so many years of working alone, I feel so lucky to have a group of people working together. I remember I went to take part in the college entrance examination marking last year, and I was in the composition group. After grouping, I first putI went through the list of people in several major groups, found the members and friends inside, and got to know them one by one. There are some friends we have never met, and many more we have only met once. When shaking hands and talking with each friend, everyone feels like meeting old friends again, feeling happy, touched and warm. Yes, it\’s warmth. Isn’t this kind of warmth the warmth that children feel in groups? If we don\’t have it, how can we share it with our children, and how can we give our children more encouragement and guidance? The breadth of parents’ lives determines the height of their children’s growth. About two years ago, I read an article titled “Why Teachers Can’t Cultivate Outstanding Children.” It is mentioned that teachers will limit the scope of activities of themselves and their children because they have been in a single closed campus for a long time, making their children\’s vision relatively narrow, not daring to take risks, and settling for stability. I was deeply shocked when I saw it. After all, this is a fact. But think about it, more than just teachers? Except for a very small number of successful people, don’t many small employees have similar or even worse parenting difficulties? It was this kind of shock that made Benben’s father and I bravely step out of our own small circle and tell him with actions that anyone can step out of his own narrow space and have a broader world. Yes, the breadth of life of parents determines the level of success of their children. How can we raise a child to lead if the parents never have a group? So, each of us needs a group. After all, in addition to a career, we need a career. Text | Ben Ben Mama