Please allow your children to “give up halfway”

What should I do if my child stops learning piano after five years of study? I can’t go to the martial arts school I attended for two years, so I have to transfer to an ordinary school! This is how to do? I have been learning to draw since kindergarten, but now that I am in the second grade of junior high school, I don’t want to learn anymore. Hasn’t all these years been wasted? Have you ever heard your friends complain like this, and has the same thing happened to your own children? Should you give up or force your children to continue learning? This is a big question! I went to a friend\’s house to visit, and she sighed and said to me: \”My child is really annoying. I have been learning piano for five years, but I have given up. How much money and time have been spent, and I finally got some results, but now I give up halfway.\” , what a pity!\” My friend\’s daughter Xiaowen, with tears in her eyes, still winked at me and asked me to be the peacemaker! 01 Xiaowen is 10 years old this year. The little girl started learning to play piano when she was 5 years old. She just took a training class. Half a year later, her friend bought her a good piano and invited a teacher from a famous art academy to come. As a tutor, I have participated in several competitions in the past two years and won a grand prize. \”Half a year ago, this child said that he didn\’t want to learn anymore. I forced him to practice piano for another half a year. Now, he doesn\’t have any lessons. He still thinks that leaving the piano at home is a hindrance. I don\’t know why, but this child is obsessed with dancing again. He is very I want to sign up for a dance class. If I don’t sign up for a class, I just watch dance videos on the Internet and practice at home. There is really nothing I can do about this kid!\” Looking at my frowning friend, I asked her: \”Are you? Do you plan to let your daughter become a pianist or a music teacher in the future?\” My friend shook his head: \”It\’s too early to plan a career for your child now. I just want her to have some hobbies and interests that she can stick to for a long time. At least When I take the college entrance examination in a few years, I will get a low score in the art major.\” \”If it\’s just a hobby, to put it more simply, it\’s playing: is there any difference between playing piano and dancing? Dancing is more physical exercise than piano! If you like it, just play. If you don\’t like it, just change it to something you like. It\’s normal for children to do this. There are too many children learning piano and dancing nowadays. It\’s unrealistic if all the children enrolling in classes now want to be pianists and dancers. It’s better to follow the child’s wishes! Just like our child, he learned painting for three or four years, stopped learning in the middle, switched to Taekwondo, and then started painting again.” My friend listened to what I said and stopped forcing it. My daughter went to take piano lessons. The little girl smiled and went out to play happily. 02 I have a deep understanding of the problems my friends are encountering now in the past few years. Perhaps because of my deep influence, my son showed a strong interest in drawing when he was very young. He was able to draw simple animals when he was 3 years old. From the age of 4, I, as an art teacher, began to systematically He taught his son to learn painting, sketching, figures, landscapes, Chinese painting, and oil painting for 4 years. When he showed his paintings to his friends, no one would say that they were painted by an 8-year-old child. He has He had a talent for painting, and he also had enthusiasm at the beginning, but that was limited to the first one or two years. In the summer when he was 6 years old, he fell in love with learning to swim. For painting, I only picked up the brush every day after urging him. , seeing him like this, I am too lazy to care anymore. I want to learn to swim, so I will accompany him.I don’t insist on painting anymore. A month and a half later, he learned to swim and picked up his paintbrush again. Originally, I wanted to let my son learn to swim while also taking care of painting, even if it takes two or three days. But a friend who studies psychology told me: When a child doesn’t like a certain hobby or sport, don’t force the child. Maybe it’s because he’s stuck in a bottleneck in this area and can’t find a breakthrough, or maybe it’s just day after day. Repeated exercises make children bored. At this time, parents should not force their children to continue and let the children deal with these problems by themselves! He loves swimming. If he doesn’t want to learn painting, he should learn swimming. Learn whatever you are interested in. Forcing him to draw will only increase his disgust. What fun would there be in learning that way? Last year, my son fell in love with Taekwondo and put aside painting. Seeing the friends wearing professional taekwondo clothes, standing there with heroic posture, learning every move from the coach, my son drooled with envy. \”So handsome, so cool. I draw and sit there every day like a nerd. It would be great to learn Taekwondo. This is what I really like!\” The son put on professional clothes as he wished and stood like other children. In the first class, I was still a little bit fresh in front of the coach. In the second class, I started to complain about the coach\’s harshness and the hard work of practice. In the third class, I had to study hard. Later, I complained even more. Within a month, I said I didn’t want to go. Well, if you don’t want to go, you won’t go, but you can get back the tuition you paid. The son was dumbfounded, so he told the teacher that he didn\’t agree, but he could switch to other courses, including art, vocal music, guitar, and violin. Fortunately, this is a relatively large training school that allows my son to be \”half-hearted\”. Later, my son learned guitar for another month, because he took him to the interpretation bar twice, and he was stunned when he saw the guitar-playing elder brother performing on the stage. As a result, he ran out of patience after two classes. Do you want to switch to other courses? I asked him, and he looked at the long course schedule and chose another one: Art! After going around in a circle, my son came back and started learning to draw! Only this time, he no longer envies children studying other courses. He has tried many hobbies and interests! The love I have now seems a little different from the love I had before! In fact, what does it matter even if the son does not choose art in the end? Hobbies and interests are originally meant to please the body and mind, and they can allow children to grow up healthily and happily. That is enough. Even if they \”give up halfway\”, what\’s wrong with it? From the perspective of our parents, the reason why we let our children learn special skills is not because we want them to become pianists, painters, or musicians. We do not want to plan their lives for our children. We just want our children to experience life while learning. , train children to become a competitive person for survival. Text | Han Xia