A 7-year-old boy loves Barbie dolls, and his mother is heartbroken…

I once saw a report about a man who likes Barbie dolls. I remember I was chatting with a friend and was asked, what would you do if your son liked Barbie? I laughed out loud. My husband and I have normal sexual orientations. My son must be a manly man and would not like Barbie. The friend continued to ask: If he grew up to be gay, would you agree? My husband and I immediately responded: Absolutely not. In fact, this problem has been bothering me because my son liked to play with Barbie since he was a child. When my son just learned to walk, he would see a little girl playing Barbie at the playground and he would get excited and try to rush over. Things like this happen all the time, and acquaintances at the playground even joked: Your family looks like Jia Baoyu, who only loves red makeup. I didn’t pay much attention to it at the time. The children were still young and their interests would change. On his third birthday, we took him to buy birthday gifts. He stood in front of the Barbie toys and refused to take a step away. I asked him with a very serious expression: \”You can only choose one gift, only one gift, are you sure?\” My son nodded vigorously with great certainty. At that moment I was completely confused. His dad looked at me, pulled me and said, \”Are you stupid? It\’s normal to like beautiful girls, but it\’s abnormal to like boys.\” Oh, this logic seems to be right. We compromised with him that day Bought Barbie. That day I also searched keywords such as \”boy, Barbie doll\” on Baidu, and found that many such children were normal. I was relieved. Little did he know that after this acquiescence, he would get out of control. No matter what the situation was in the future, the gifts his son would buy would always be all kinds of Barbies, and once he started playing with them, he would not even hear the call to eat. I regret it. If I had known now, I should not have listened to his father on his birthday and resolutely strangled this hobby in the cradle. The most embarrassing thing is that I am afraid that my son will \”come out\” because of this \”hidden\” hobby. In kindergarten, you can bring your own toys to school one day a week to play with. I used to take a car out of the trunk and give it to him on this day every week. Because I was almost late for work that day, I asked my son to get his toys and drove away in a hurry. When school was over, I saw my son with his head lowered and a plastic bag in his hand. The teacher took his hand, walked up to me, and said to me: \”Your son likes Barbie, and the boys laugh at him.\” I remember that my son didn\’t say anything along the way. When he got home, he cried and threw Barbie hard. On the ground. I remember I was secretly happy at the time. Wouldn’t it be a good thing if my son doesn’t like Barbie anymore after this incident? I can only say that I thought too much. After this incident, my son still has a soft spot for Barbie. One day when I was changing pillows, I found a Barbie inside. Since that day, I have thought a lot, why do boys like Barbie dolls? Can boys like Barbie dolls? Is there anything wrong with liking Barbie? What harm does liking Barbie do to society and others? Does liking Barbie mean that his sexual orientation is different from ordinary people? Of course there are no answers to these questions, and thinking too much will make you neurotic. I feel that even in today\’s modern world where information technology is highly developed and individual freedom is highly recognized,In society, the role of boys is still preset, and minority behaviors are still not understood and not recognized. Finally, I decided to accept my fate. Even if the whole world disagreed, I would stand by my son\’s side. At that moment, everything became very easy. During my annual leave, I had more time to spend with my son, and I found that my son plays Barbie a little differently from how girls do. He would take off all Barbie\’s clothes, then remove her arms and legs, give Barbie a haircut, and mutter some words. It felt like his son was playing doctor and barber. I tried to ask him, \”Are you treating Barbie? What disease does she have?\” My son told me his imaginary story without raising his head, and it felt like he was talking to himself. And this story is quite caring. In order to save a puppy, his Barbie was hit by a car and injured her arms and legs. He is a doctor and he wants to heal her. This is completely a story about a hero saving a beauty. I finally felt relieved. It seems that I don’t understand the child’s heart at all. He is just relatively introverted and lives in his own world. Maybe I \”tarnished\” my son\’s innocent childhood with my adult imagination too early. ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ This incident made me think about how, as a mother, I should deal with children who deviate from the track I set? In the past few years, I have been a bit cautious. First of all, stay calm and don’t forget your original intention. Every time I see my son playing with Barbie and I want to get angry, I tell myself: I am ten months pregnant and I just hope that the baby will be safe. I named my son and just hope that he will be happy and healthy throughout his life. By remembering this at all times, you will be able to remain calm about all events before you and avoid taking mutually damaging actions. The second is to open yourself up and accept differences. Nowadays, society is developing at a rapid pace. Things that were not favored or recognized before are now mainstream and widely accepted. As a parent, I hope to use my life’s experience to illuminate the way forward for my children. However, our experiences may not always be correct. Seeking more opinions with an open mind and listening to different opinions will enable us to deal with our children better. avoid detours on issues. So every time I feel I don’t understand or feel wronged, I will search on Baidu or Zhihu, and try it when I see good methods and experiences. Sometimes you will find it very interesting, and occasionally it will be very effective. Besides that I learned to communicate through observation. As the saying goes: care leads to chaos. As a parent, when faced with a child\’s \”rebellious\” behavior, it is inevitable that he will act impulsively because he cares too much. I think if the child\’s father hadn\’t kept reminding me, I would have grabbed Barbie every time and thrown it out of the window. If I do this, it is estimated that my son will have a psychological shadow throughout his life. Each of us was born as a child. If we squat down and become a child again and try to understand his heart, we will often find that we think too much. ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ My son’s favorite toy is still Barbie, and occasionally he has some behaviors that make me worry about his future orientation. But now this \”Barbie complex\” doesn\’t bother me anymore. The secret to happiness lies in the old saying: Be who you are. British philosopher Alan Watts,) said so. No matter what, as a mother, I think I will respect my son to live his life the way he likes. Text | Sarah