A joke planted the seeds of resentment in my daughter\’s heart

The elder sister is 9 years old and the younger brother is 5 years old. They often quarrel, but now they quarreled again. The two siblings each hugged one of my arms, raised their faces and asked, \”Mom, whose mother are you?\” I replied angrily and funny, \”Do you even need to ask? Of course she is your mother.\” The younger brother argued, \”No, you are my own mother.\” The elder sister burst into tears. \”What\’s wrong with you two?\” I knew the two children must have quarreled again. \”My younger brother said that I was ugly, with a flat face, and looked nothing like my mother. My grandfather also often said that I was not your biological child, but my aunt\’s. Besides, I knew when you gave birth to your younger brother, and you were standing tall at that time. When I went to the hospital with a big belly, I cried and wanted to go with you, but you refused and let my grandma take me away. The next day you came back with your brother in your arms, and the belly was gone. And I don’t remember you giving birth at all. What it was like when I was pregnant.\” After hearing my daughter\’s cry, I didn\’t know how to explain it. Such a judgment can indeed be drawn from what the child sees and hears. I still remember that one morning when the weather was slightly cool, my daughter had a cold and I took her to see a doctor. I looked at my watch and it was already seven o\’clock. I still had a meeting to hold at eight o\’clock. It took forty minutes from home to work. I had to send the children to school within the hour, so I found some for her. The cold medicine said: \”My child, you take some medicine first, and when you come back at noon, mom will take you. Mom is going to be late. Mom has a meeting at eight o\’clock.\” She immediately got angry and said, \”I won\’t take it, let me Just die.\” While crying, he took off his coat and ran out wearing only a T-shirt. I immediately chased her out and asked her to put on her coat to avoid aggravating the cold. She refused to wear anything. When I forced her to put on clothes, she bit me hard and said, \”You are not my mother. You don\’t care whether I live or die. If your son is sick, I will see if you can hold a meeting.\” \”Hearing the words \”You are not my biological mother\” again, I was annoyed. I took her home and showed her the birth certificate, but she said: \”Grandpa said that birth certificates can be faked.\” I completely I was devastated. My daughter was excellent in all aspects, but she couldn\’t turn around on this matter. Yes, whenever the two children quarrel, I ask the elder sister to give way to the younger brother. At this time, the child\’s grandfather always said jokingly, you were not born by your mother, you were born by your aunt. You see, your mother doesn\’t love you and your brother. Your brother is your mother\’s child. I didn\’t take it seriously, knowing that the old man liked to joke. However, this sentence planted the seeds of resentment in the child\’s young heart. Comparing himself with his younger brother in everything, and being treated slightly worse than his younger brother will catalyze this seed to germinate and grow. Even though I told her a lot of knowledge about childbirth and stories about brother-sister harmony, I couldn\’t completely eliminate the perception that \”I am not my biological mother.\” I hope that the child can digest the pain caused by this joke as he grows older and increases in knowledge. Here I advise everyone not to say things like \”I\’m not your biological mother\” or \”You were picked up\” in front of your children. Children are young, have strong intuitive impressions, and lack the ability to self-identify. Such words will cause harm to the children. permanent damage.