Who teased my child! Come out quickly!

Not long ago, there was some unpleasantness at home. Because of minor frictions at family gatherings, my aunt told everyone that my cousin doted on her children, made a fuss over trivial matters, and didn\’t take her relatives seriously. But in my mind, my cousin, who is a university teacher, has always been a gentle and generous woman, and she would never get into trouble with relatives over a trivial matter. After several inquiries, I found out that it was because my cousin and aunt had very different educational philosophies! It was a family gathering that day, and my cousin was very busy, so the warm-hearted aunt took the initiative to take over the task of taking care of her cousin\’s five-year-old son Guoguo. But not long after, little Guoguo couldn\’t stop crying. It took her cousin a long time to coax her, but the child was in a low mood all day long. Before going to bed at night, Guoguo asked her cousin, \”Mom, did I really pick it up with my father?\” Then her cousin figured out that Guoguo cried and was depressed during the day because her aunt told him when she was teasing Guoguo. , \”Guoguo, you are a child picked up by mom and dad. You see, mom is too busy so she doesn\’t want you!\” When my cousin learned what happened, she called her aunt specifically and asked her not to scare Guoguo again. . But the aunt felt that what her cousin did was simply unbelievable. It was obviously just a joke, but she took the child too seriously! I very much agree with my cousin’s behavior. Children cannot stand such seemingly unintentional jokes! From the perspective of educational psychology, the construction of family relationships is very important before children mature physically and mentally. The process of children\’s growth is the process of constantly establishing close relationships with their parents. Once someone questions the biological relationship, the child will unconsciously doubt the relationship between himself and his parents, which will cause psychological discomfort and is very detrimental to the child\’s growth! Colleague Lina’s son Jiajia is seven years old and has just entered first grade. After the two-child policy was opened, Lina and her husband both wanted to have another baby. Lina feels that although Jiajia is only seven years old, she is also a member of the family and Jiajia should be consulted for her opinion. Unexpectedly, Jiajia was very happy when he learned that he would have a little brother or sister, because the heroes he saw in adventure cartoons were all big brothers who could protect their younger brothers and sisters. Lina has been very busy at work recently, leaving the task of picking up the children from school to Grandma Jiajia. Every day when Lina comes home from get off work, she chats with Jiajia for a while and asks Jiajia about the interesting stories that happened in school today. The little boy who usually talked happily was depressed. Lina was worried that Jiajia would encounter something unhappy at school, so she quickly coaxed him. Unexpectedly, Jiajia opened her eyes wide and said with an aggrieved look, \”Mom, I don\’t want a little brother anymore. I don\’t want to be an older brother.\” ”. Lina was very confused. It turned out that Jiajia had been looking forward to the arrival of the baby! He was also happily planning to share his favorite toy car with his little brother. Lina comforted her softly: \”Baby, why don\’t you want to be a brother? Isn\’t it something to be proud of?\” Then Lina learned that Grandma Jiajia had been joking with Jiajia recently and told He said: \”When we have a baby in the future, mom and dad will no longer have time to take care of Jiajia. They will give their love to Jiajia to the baby. Jiajia will fall out of favor!\” Lina repeatedly comforted Jiajia. love will never change, to reassure Jiajia. Afterwards, she even argued with Grandma Jiajia about this, telling her not to joke with Jiajia like this in the future, Jiajia would be sad! Children at this stage have already developed some ability to think independently, and they care very much about the opinions of others, especially their parents. They often even do strange things to attract their parents\’ attention. If you often tell your children that their parents don\’t love them anymore, whether it\’s true or not, it will damage their self-confidence. Children\’s minds are often more delicate than we think. Among the many celebrity families, the most enviable ones are Huang Lei and Sun Li. They have a harmonious family and their two daughters are well-behaved and beautiful. Especially the eldest daughter Huang Duoduo, her calmness, seriousness and patience beyond her years in \”Where Are We Going, Dad\” are really amazing! But the most memorable thing was when on a variety show, the program team interviewed Duo Duo, \”At home, who do you love most, your father or your mother?\” The children interviewed in the same group all chose one of them as their answer, but only Huang Duoduo insisted: \”I love mom and dad, both of them!\” After watching the short video, Huang Lei talked about parenting with pride. He said he never asked, nor did he encourage others to ask his daughter whether she loves her father or her mother more. Although this question may seem funny, it is extremely harmful and is not conducive to family harmony and the growth of children. I witnessed such a scene not long ago. While waiting for a table at the hotel, there was a young mother and a little girl next to her. There was also an older lady with her, who must be the elder of the child. It was boring to wait for a table, so I looked at the sweet-looking little girl. Perhaps the female elder was bored and started chatting with the little girl. The content was nothing more than simple inquiries, such as \”Is kindergarten fun?\” \”Are there any autumn outings?\” \”Is learning piano fun?\” The little girl answered the questions enthusiastically. . But when the elders asked, \”At home, do you love your father or your mother the most?\” The little girl was stunned and thought for a long time, her eyes rolling on her mother, looking embarrassed. The elder reluctantly asked again, \”Which one is better, dad or mom?\” The little girl opened her mouth, still unable to think of an answer, and felt a little unhappy. Faced with similar questions, \”Who is better, mom or dad?\”, \”Do you want to play with grandpa or dad?\”… It is always difficult for children to answer. Adults just do it for fun, but children will seriously compare who loves him more. This is very harmful to children, because real love does not need to be compared and measured. It can be difficult for children to tell what is a joke and what is truth. They already have a certain understanding of the world, but their understanding is not deep enough; they have a certain ability to think independently, but their thinking is not comprehensive; they also have a certain understanding of the concept of family and \”love\”, and they are in a situation where they need Love is a time that requires care. Maybe it\’s just a harmless joke from parents or relatives, but it can hurt the child\’s sensitive mind! Please don’t “scare” them just for a moment’s amusement! Here are some tips to help you become a responsible parent who understands your children! 1. Refusing to treat children as objects of amusement may even cause parents toThey don’t realize that some of the jokes that make children feel uneasy and fearful. Don\’t treat them as objects of amusement, especially those \”jokes\” that will make children cry after hearing them! We must also dare to tell relatives and friends and refuse them to amuse the children in incorrect ways, turning \”amusement\” into \”fright\”, which may even cause unpredictable harm! 2. Cultivate children’s understanding of “love”. “Love” must be the most important emotion in a child’s life. If you love your parents, yourself, and your friends, you must establish a correct “view of love” for your children. Love is immeasurable and cannot be compared. Love is precious. Never let your children be in a dilemma about \”who to love more\”. True love does not count sacrifices, asks for nothing in return, and does not wantonly compare; true love originates from the truest \”conditioned reflex\” in the heart. 3. Children must be treated as independent individuals. Many parents ignore when talking to their children that the child has gradually grown into an individual with the ability to think independently. They must communicate with their children on an equal footing, just like Jiajia’s mother, Have warm communication and conversation with Jiajia to help Jiajia establish a correct family concept. Parents, be careful! Your children are smarter and more emotional than you think! If you want to raise them to be independent and friendly people, remember to care for their soft hearts during their growth stage. You must also learn to reject others and bravely say: \”Please stop teasing my children!\”