Crazy mother committed suicide by drowning in river, the truth is tear-jerking…

Without anyone in this world, the sun will rise in the east and set in the west. It seems that all the joys and sorrows in the world have nothing to do with it. But there is always one person missing the other person. My mother once hugged me and said, \”Son, take good care of yourself and your brother. We will still be together in the next life.\” I naively asked, \”Mom, how far will the next life be?\” My mother said, \”It\’s very close, only in the blink of an eye. \”I said, \”Oh!\” without understanding, and then there was nothing more to say, because I didn\’t know what to say. All my childhood memories stayed on that night, about my mother. If it were me now, I would say to my mother: \”I don\’t want the next life, I just want to live this life well. I don\’t believe there is a next life. Even if there is a next life, we will not meet again, we are just strangers on different roads.\” \”As long as I can remember, my mother was hardworking and caring about her family. She always kept the house clean and comfortable. But some days, my mother seemed to be a different person. She put the big iron basin on the ground, beat it hard with a wooden stick, and sang Peking Opera. At first I was shocked by my mother\’s abnormality, but as time went by, I realized that my mother was mentally ill. She acted like a normal person when she was good, but when she got sick, she didn\’t know anything. My mother\’s illness is intermittent. I heard that when I first married my father, she had it several times a year, but it became more and more serious after that. How did your mother get the disease? I learned from my grandma that my mother was severely stimulated. Before my mother got married, she had a very close friend. They often went to the market together to wash clothes by the river, and they would laugh and enjoy the daily life together. When girls in rural areas reach the age of eighteen or nineteen, it is time to find a husband. My mother\’s friend soon got engaged to a young man from a neighboring village through someone else\’s introduction. The friend\’s engagement ceremony included a light and beautiful ring. In the countryside at that time, rings were such an enviable luxury item. My mother often said to her friends: \”Look how happy you are, marrying into a good husband.\” But before her friend got married, she contracted a disease that was difficult to cure. Her mother often visited her, and just before she died, a friend gave her a ring. (Because she wanted to return the betrothal gift to the man, the man found it irritating, so he gave it away.) From then on, the mother looked dull for a few days, sat there and laughed like crazy for a few days, and she fell ill. When my father married my mother, he knew that my mother had mild mental illness. Because my mother was pretty and well-known in the neighboring village for her hard work, my father also believed that my mother\’s illness could be cured. But later, my mother\’s illness became more and more serious. I don\’t know whether it was the increasing financial pressure or the self-abandonment of her illness. The mother finally took the road of no return and committed suicide by drowning herself in the river. That day was August 17th, and I will never forget that day. Every August, my yearning becomes more intense and I have nowhere to release it. For a long time after my mother passed away, I didn\’t believe that my mother was gone, and I didn\’t dare to mention her. The more I mentioned her, the sadder I became. When my mother was still alive, she fed a few sheep and took my brother and I to the fields to graze the sheep every day. I was five or six years old at the time, and my brother was three years younger than me. On the way to herding sheep, I saw a group of children going to school. I raised my head and said to my mother, \”Mom, I want to go to school too.\” My mother was a little embarrassed but alsoI kindly comforted and said: \”Child, those are in kindergarten, the tuition is high, and they haven\’t learned anything yet. Next year, we will feed the lambs and sell them to you to pay for the tuition. You are still young now!\” I said! I was a little disappointed. When I was young, I understood that without money, going to school would be in vain. My father worked outside every year and could not earn much money. My brother still needs to go to school, and my mother still needs to take medicine… There are many ways to spend money. Now I understand that money is not everything, but it is not dirt either. Without money, many things will not be satisfied. In order to make a better life, my mother sold meatballs at the market. She fried them from home, and then took her brother to sell them. She earned more than ten yuan per episode. My mother was so happy that she couldn\’t open her mouth from ear to ear. On days other than market days, my mother goes to pick up rags. But how much rags are there in the countryside that can be sold for money? At that time, everyone was very poor. My mother was a young scavenger and was chased by many naughty children and shouted crazy. Because my mother\’s illness often broke out, the neighbors nearby shunned her. My mother was also nosy. Once, she saw several children beating a snake with wooden sticks. My mother ran forward and persuaded them to let the snake go so as not to harm lives. But the children didn\’t listen. Instead, they called their mother crazy and meddling. The next year, the money from selling the sheep my mother fed was either used to buy fertilizer or seeds. It was all used up, and my dream of going to school was about to come to an end again. But she has never forgotten what my mother promised me. She went to my grandma’s house to borrow money to send me to school. I was ecstatic at that moment. What if my mother was ill? Even when I am sick, she is still my support when I am sober. I hugged my mother and said, \”Mom, how nice it is that you will always be sober.\” I went to school, and my mother took her young brother to work in the fields and herd sheep. When I come home from school every day, I first look at the smoke. If there is smoke, it is normal for my mother. If there is no smoke, my mother is sick again. My brother took on the role of chef, and I was only responsible for lighting the fire. When my mother fell ill, my brother took a break and rode a bicycle to a place more than ten miles away to buy medicine. After buying the medicine, my mother no longer knew how to take it. She spilled the medicine that her brother handed her and said that her brother was a big liar for causing her to take such a painful thing. The elder brother had no choice but to think of another way. He kneaded the dough, pressed it into a cake, crushed the medicine into powder, put the powdered medicine into the cake, and then cooked it and coaxed the mother to eat it. After the work was done, the mother took the medicine and calmed down. The elder brother looked at the medicine that his mother had pushed and spilled. He couldn\’t take it anymore and it was mixed with loess. He felt a little distressed. When her mother was normal, her brother talked to her and said that her mother was not as obedient as before when she took medicine when she was sick. During those times when she was sick, his brother bought medicine and handed it to her, and she drank it. Now I do it more often. It used to be more than ten days ago, but now I do it once a week. My mother said that my brother was a good boy who knew how to find solutions. She herself was worried, what if she didn\’t take medicine if she was confused? She told her brother to pay attention to her next time and buy medicine if anything went wrong. My brother said sadly: \”The doctor said you can buy it in advance, but we don\’t have that much money, so once a week is already very difficult.\” My mother said melancholy: \”Yes!\” My brother is three years older than me. My brother was thirteen years old that year and was already very tall. A nice neighbor said to his mother: \”Look how tall your son is, it\’s time to get a wife.\” The mother said: \”It\’s still early.Woolen cloth! The neighbor said, \”It\’s getting late. It\’s time to prepare. We have to build a house.\” \”The neighbor left, and my mother was silent for a long time looking at the dilapidated house. The embarrassment of life and the worldly outlook. Perhaps what tempted my mother to embark on the road of no return was seeing the car accident. There was a bus crash at the east end of our village. A pair of siblings met. The elder sister was carrying her younger brother on a bicycle. When turning, she failed to avoid the older sister and was hit and killed. The younger brother was thrown out and injured. The good neighbor took the mother to see the accident scene and said that the family members blocked the bus to cause trouble. . After she went there, my mother went crazy, crying on the dead body. She cried more sadly than the family members, and couldn\’t hold it back. After returning home, my mother seemed to have returned to normal. She said to herself: \”I Why can\’t I control it? That child is so pitiful. He is about to get married and die. \”It\’s almost the Mid-Autumn Festival, how can we reunite!\” \”If you die, you will have nothing and be free.\” None of us took our mother\’s words to heart. I still regret it very much. If I had been more Pay attention, be more mature, and maybe tragedy will not happen. It was almost the Mid-Autumn Festival, but my mother couldn\’t be happy. On August 13, my uncle sent me two fishes and told my mother not to go to my grandma’s house. Mother understood that she didn’t need to go, just that she didn’t need to send gifts. The mother said with some sadness and self-blame: \”As a daughter, I always let the two elders worry about me and failed to fulfill my filial duty.\” The uncle said: \”Don\’t tell me, as long as you are good and take good care of the three children.\” Uncle said After leaving, my mother cried. On August 15, my mother made fish stew and gave us a delicious meal. That day she just watched us eat, quietly, wondering what she was thinking? On August 17, when I woke up in the morning, my mother was no longer in the house, nor in the yard, but the pot on the stove was steaming. My elder brother invited my younger brother and I to dinner and asked me to go to school. He said he would take my younger brother to find his mother. I went to school, and before noon, a neighbor called me and asked me to go home and take a look. My heart skipped a beat. What could have happened to my mother? I couldn’t believe it. When I got home, I was stunned by what I saw. People all over the yard were talking and discussing what to do? An older man said to catch a chicken first and throw it into the river to call its soul. I walked into the main room and saw my mother lying on the bier, covered with sheets. I couldn\’t believe it and stood there dumbfounded. The people next to me said that she was your mother, but I didn\’t believe it. When I walked into the back room, I saw my brother beating his chest and crying bitterly. The younger brother was also crying there. But I couldn\’t believe that this was true. Not a single tear fell from my eyes. I really wanted to find a place to hide. I couldn\’t accept this reality. Until the third day, it was the day of my mother\’s funeral, and my father also rushed back from other places. According to custom, the father cleansed the mother\’s face and lifted the bed sheet, revealing the mother\’s pale and peaceful face. The funeral was about to take place and everyone was preparing to close the coffin lid. Only then did I realize that I would never see my mother again in this life. I rushed forward and pulled the lid of the coffin hard, crying loudly. My aunt hugged me and cried, saying that your mother should be buried in peace! They pulled me away from me, who was out of control, and closed the coffin lid. Knocking nails into the coffin with a hammer was like hammering my heart… Just like that, my mother left, leaving the empty yard. After my mother’s funeral was over,Neighbors helped clean up the house, opened cupboards, and placed clothes and quilts neatly. There was a big box containing pairs of shoes of different sizes. That was done by my mother stitch by stitch. Every stitch and thread is permeated with my mother\’s sweat and her concern for us. There is a note stuffed in the top shoe. When you open the note, you will see lines of crooked writing. The writing is not good but very clear. (My mother is not well educated and only went to school for two years.) My brother took the note and read with a choked voice: When you see it, my mother is gone. My mother can’t bear it anymore. If my mother is gone, I won’t delay you anymore. After learning, no one will laugh at you as crazy kids anymore. You are all grown up and can take care of yourselves. Mom’s illness is not good, and she doesn’t want to drag you down. It\’s cold. Remember to put on clothes and take care of your brother. My brother was so choked up that he couldn\’t speak, so he burst into tears, and then the whole room was filled with sad cries… If I were given another chance, I would say to my mother: \”Mom, I don\’t think you are crazy, and I am not afraid of others laughing at me.\” , as long as you can accompany us to grow up slowly.\” If there really is a next life, pray to God to let us meet, no matter you are crazy or stupid. I just want to see you every day, and I just want to call you mother and you can respond. It has been twenty-three years since my mother passed away, but I can still clearly remember every detail of her life. I hope we can\’t live powerfully, so we try to live humblely.