A letter written by a 15-year-old girl who is tired of studying, every word is heartbreaking! Parents should read it

My child keeps making mistakes in math questions, what should I do? My child’s English scores are always failing to improve, what should I do? My child is tired of studying and always talks back to me, what should I do? My child\’s grades have dropped sharply, and he seems to be in early love. What should I do? …Many parents have asked me these questions. Do you also have such doubts? If so, please listen to me tell you a story. After a monthly exam, I asked the children to write a summary and analyze the reasons for progress or regression. Among the pile of papers handed in, there was a summary that impressed me deeply. Unlike other students, the child did not summarize the reasons, but more like writing a letter. The letter was written by a girl whose grades have been declining since she entered the third grade of junior high school. I thought she was rebellious in her youth and was not paying attention to her studies. But every word she wrote in this letter pierced my heart deeply, making me feel distressed and guilty. Later, I forwarded the letter to the child\’s parents. The two of them cried while reading, and took the letter and said to me: \”Teacher, why didn\’t this child tell us? We always blamed her for not studying hard, but we really didn\’t expect that she thought so… We shouldn\’t Huh?\” What kind of letter made parents and teachers feel guilty? After obtaining the child\’s consent, I wrote the letter for everyone to see. I also hope that every parent will communicate with the child more. Every word and sentence of this letter is worth reading carefully, because only after reading it will you know: It turns out that this is what the child thinks. Teacher: Hello, let me say sorry first. You asked us to write down the reasons for our regression, but I really don’t know where I went wrong. I used to have good grades, but why have I been deteriorating since last semester? Starting from the second grade of junior high school, I felt that studying was more difficult than before, especially mathematics, physics and chemistry. Sometimes, I wonder, is it really like what others say, that girls are not as good as boys? But I don’t believe it. I believe that as long as you work hard, you will definitely do well in the exam. ——I am very strong and I don’t allow myself to fail, so I work hard to read my homework. It takes me almost two hours to finish the math paper that others can finish in one hour. It doesn’t matter. Then I will go to bed later and go to bed at 12 o’clock. normal. During that time, I always felt that there was not enough time, and I thought it would be great if I had 48 hours! I was alone, memorizing formulas and doing exercises… just because my parents once said that they worry too much about my studies; just because I don\’t want them to worry about it anymore. I believe that as long as I work hard, I can definitely do it! ——But, reality slapped me hard… This time the monthly exam was announced, I actually dropped 3 places compared to last time! I was holding the test paper, and I was in a trance. I couldn\’t hear what the teacher was saying, and I didn\’t even know when the teacher called me to answer questions. On the way home, pedestrians passed by in a hurry, and no one cared about my feelings. I was thinking: What\’s the use of working so hard? I didn\’t want to go home directly, so I went to a store and wandered around. Looking at the gadgets I liked before, I didn\’t feel interested at all. I just stood there blankly, my mind blank. When I came back to my senses, it was already getting dark. ——I still let my parents down. When I got home, my parents were both there, and my mother looked angry.Angry, he asked me: \”Why are you back now? Where have you been? The teacher said you were always distracted in class. Did you fall in love early and that\’s why you failed in the exam?\” I didn\’t say anything, and my dad became anxious: \”Don\’t be so distracted.\” Just guessing, the kid didn\’t work very hard.\” \”She worked hard, but she still got like this in the exam? It\’s all your fault that the kid is like this, you don\’t care at all…\” Seeing them arguing so hard, I really couldn\’t stand it anymore, I shouted loudly: \”Stop arguing, don\’t you get tired of arguing every day?\” As if to vent, or to cover up my frustration, I picked up my schoolbag and closed the door, and heard my mother\’s scolding coming from outside the door: \”It\’s not because of you that we\’re arguing. Look at what you look like…\” I don\’t care what they are saying anymore? I didn’t even eat dinner, so I just lay on the bed alone, hugging the quilt and crying. When I was tired from crying, I stood by the window and watched people coming and going on the street. Almost every house turned off the lights and went to sleep. The streets were dark and the house was quiet. At that time, my heart went cold. ——The feeling of being misunderstood is really uncomfortable. From the second to the third year of junior high school, everyone seemed to have changed and worked hard. But I seemed to be cursed and could only stand still and wait for others to surpass me. Teacher, I am a strong person. I want to go to a good university to realize my dream. But now, I am extremely confused about the future. My grades were either high or low. It was very difficult to get into high school. Even if I got into high school, I would still be at the bottom. Sometimes I think about it, I really might as well go to a vocational school and learn something practical, at least that way I can get out to work earlier. I stood by the window, wondering what to do next? I don’t want to read or sleep. I think of what my mother said: \”It doesn\’t matter how much we worry about you. You have to work hard on your own. The future path is your own.\” But, teacher, I really don\’t know what the road ahead is like. , am I really inferior to others? ——The future is uncertain, what should I do? Teacher, it’s not that I don’t work hard, I really try my best. But why doesn’t it work? Teacher, after saying so much, I still haven’t made the reason clear. Teacher, actually I just want to find someone to talk to about these things…Teacher, can you help me? Student XX, what do you think after reading this letter? Have you never thought that the children we call imperfect are actually trying their best! The child said: It’s not that I don’t want to learn, I do… On the road to education, we always wishfully assume that children’s poor performance means they don’t work hard… But we never thought that in order to prevent us from worrying, our children may have tried their best; also I never thought that there are many reasons for poor grades. \”It\’s not that I don\’t want to learn, it\’s that I don\’t see hope.\” This type of student has worked hard for a long time but failed to achieve the desired results. Coupled with the blind blaming of parents, the children have become increasingly inferior to themselves. Parents should encourage them more, avoid quarreling over trivial matters at home, and provide their children with a relaxed environment to cultivate self-confidence. \”It\’s not that I don\’t want to learn, it\’s that I don\’t know why I\’m learning.\” The problem for this type of students is that they can\’t find a goal, and most of them learn for their parents. Without motivation, there will be no progress. Parents should listen more to what their children want and help them make reasonable decisions.Plan your life. \”It\’s not that I don\’t want to learn, it\’s that I can\’t learn.\” Every child is good at different things, and it is normal to be partial to subjects. For example, some students are unable to grasp the key points when reading the questions, resulting in failure to score points in the exam. For such students, parents should take their children to read more. \”It\’s not that I don\’t want to learn, it\’s that I don\’t know how to learn.\” These children are typically inefficient, but they are also the students who are easiest to improve their grades in a short period of time, because all they lack is an effective learning method. The child mentioned above belongs to type 1 and type 4. He has no self-confidence and cannot learn. After talking with the child, I suggested that she start with the basics and get 80% of the marks in the test paper. Coupled with the changes in the child\’s parents, the child became more and more cheerful, scored well in the high school entrance examination, and was admitted to the ideal middle school in her mind. What about your children? Which one does it belong to? We always say we love our children, but at the same time we despise him for this or that. We all forget that true love is loving everything about him. If you love him, you should accept the child\’s imperfections. Only by accepting this reality can we truly understand our child and help him slowly correct his imperfections.