When the parents divorced, they also buried the child in a grave

Curled-up Thorns In 2006, I was in my third year of teaching. One month into school, a boy named Lin Kaifeng suddenly joined my class 505. Due to inertia, I paid special attention to him. Soon, I discovered that this was a very introverted child: During class, he never raised his head, let alone answer questions; after class, he didn’t talk to anyone, and even when he went to the toilet, he pressed against the wall quickly and silently. drift. Even if I deliberately walked up to him, I couldn\’t see his eyes. For a whole week, except for his name and his unique back on the roster, my classmates and I even looked at him to be different. Being young and energetic, I was a little anxious: What kind of student is this? You have to think of a way to break through! Therefore, in the class meeting on Monday, I specially arranged the theme of \”Personalization, Happy Class\” and asked every student in the class to introduce themselves in a concise sentence. As I wished, the children were all eager to talk and burst into laughter from time to time. However, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the thin figure with a small forehead was getting more and more embarrassed! I\’m a little worried. Sure enough, it was Kai Feng\’s turn, and he was seen lying on the table timidly, holding a pen tightly in both hands, and his head was still buried deep in his chest. \”It\’s okay, just stand still and tell everyone your name.\” I tried to encourage him with a gentle voice. However, he became even more nervous and dropped the pen in his hand. When he was at a loss, he actually bent over and hugged the desk tightly in his arms. \”Puff!\” A classmate laughed out loud because of his embarrassed look. Suddenly, the whole class burst into laughter. Before I had time to react, the thin figure had already rushed out of the classroom. In panic, I ran after him. The result of the matter can be imagined. With the help of several colleagues, I spent a lot of effort to coax him back to the classroom. During this period, he still did not raise his head and remained silent, but , but I saw that the school uniform on his chest was wet – he was crying! In the two days after the piercing spikes, Kai Feng became even quieter, and his classmates also stayed away from him. Even Teacher Keren teased me half-jokingly: \”Teacher Bao, I don\’t dare to question him. We are also afraid of irritating him!\” I couldn\’t laugh or cry, but I was also worried: What kind of baby is this? How inferior you must be in your heart! Talk to him alone! On the third day, when he came out of the toilet and returned to the classroom, I called him to the green corner next to the classroom. I smiled and asked him to sit down kindly. He just clasped his hands and lowered his head silently. No matter what I asked him, he remained motionless. I was a little discouraged, so I tapped him on the shoulder and said, \”Okay, if I have time, I\’ll go to your house and talk to your parents!\” \”No!\” He trembled and shouted, leaving me unprepared. Looking at him in surprise. I finally saw what he looked like, what a pair of eyes he had! Full of vigilance, even hatred, even murderous intent, a chill rose up behind me! \”If you come to my house, I will drop out of school!\” He gritted his teeth, said it to me word by word, and walked away. I stood stunned for a long time before I came back to my senses. What should I do? Do you want a home visit? Think about him just nowIt was an extreme reaction, so I decided to let it go for a while. I thought that maybe letting him tell me what I wanted to know was the fundamental way to solve the problem. When I returned to the dormitory in the evening, I habitually picked up a book and read it. When I saw \”Lend You a Smile\” by Yang Baozhong, my heart moved: Education is traceless, and children must be educated slowly and understand the art of slowness. When it comes to communicating with students, teachers must be able to HOID, know when and how to communicate with children, find their own position, understand the children\’s thoughts, and intervene appropriately. I decided to give it a try. The next day, when I was correcting my diary, I wrote three words on Kai Feng’s blank notebook: I’m sorry! I feel that my inappropriate methods have put Kai Feng on guard! When I turned in the diary the next day, I first found Kai Feng\’s notebook. When I opened it, I found that there were traces of smearing under the words \”I\’m sorry.\” \”He responded!\” I was delighted, even though I wrote it but erased it. So, I added another sentence below: It seems that you are still hesitant to give the teacher a chance! I hope you can forgive the teacher for his recklessness. On the fourth day, I couldn\’t wait to open his diary. \”It doesn\’t matter!\” Haha, the little guy finally said something! I\’m very happy! I wrote: I hope to be a good teacher and good friend that you trust! The next day, I opened the notebook: Teacher, you are so kind! A few words came into view, and I was ecstatic! The iron tree is blooming! In this way, we had a silent exchange on the notebook until he told me the answer I wanted to know: When Kai Feng was in second grade, his parents had a big fight and even the police came. His parents soon divorced and he followed his mother. Kaifeng never saw his father again in his life. His mother was depressed every day, leaving early and coming home late, and rarely took care of him. Some naughty children in the class knew about his family\’s affairs from somewhere and often laughed at him. At first, he just cried. This semester, when several classmates imitated his parents\’ quarrels and teased him, he couldn\’t help it anymore. , fought with them like crazy, and in the chaos, pushed a classmate to a pillar, causing a bloody head-he transferred here only after paying a large amount of medical compensation. He vowed never to let anyone know his secret again. What a lonely child! I feel so distressed! I think I have to work hard to get him out of his knot! Be brave enough to face yourself. He finally really talked to me! Although it was just a vague \”Hello, teacher!\” when passing by, I knew that he was slowly gathering his thorns. I relaxed my vigilance and began to create opportunities intentionally or unintentionally: when he passed by the office, I pretended to be anxious and asked him to help me ask a classmate to come to the office to find me; after class, I asked him to help me get a glass of water from the office; I reviewed my homework. At the same time, I helped him analyze the wrong questions on his homework with other students; although he still didn\’t speak much, I could see relaxation in his eyes. Finally, one day, I saw him arguing loudly with the Chinese class representative about an issue, and he spoke eloquently. I didn\’t expect that he can express himself so well. It just so happened that the school was conducting research on the classroom model of fifth-five cooperation, and I decided to let him serve as the group leader to lead the group to learn group cooperation in the classroom. He agreed a little shyly. The days passed quickly,At this time, Kai Feng was much more cheerful. I think things can basically come to an end. However, in an oral communication class about childhood, when the group discussion was taking place, he unexpectedly sat without saying a word and his eyes were distracted. My heart skipped a beat, it was bad, it had irritated him again! As I watched the children come on stage one by one to share their childhood stories, I felt very anxious. Childhood Story \”Teacher, Lin Kaifeng wants to speak!\” the classmates shouted. I looked closely and saw Kaifeng\’s hand raised high. I was a little hesitant. The children burst into applause in unison, and I nodded. Kaifeng walked to the podium with a smile, picked up the chalk and wrote \”Cherish\” on the blackboard, and then began to speak. He talked about his family quarrels, his parents\’ divorce, his classmates\’ ridicule, fights, being forced to transfer to another school… Oh my God! In full view of the public, he sincerely told his classmates that they should cherish the days with their parents, even if they were scolded by their parents, they would still be happy. He choked with sobs and said how much he envied his classmates\’ complete families and how much he longed for a complete family. Under the podium, the children listened quietly, and several female classmates had tears streaming down their faces, \”Thank you, teacher, thank you classmates, I won\’t No matter how pessimistic I am, I have to face these facts and live bravely.\” Kaifeng bowed deeply to me, and the classroom was surrounded by thunderous applause that lasted for a long time. Looking at the crying child and Kai Feng smiling with tears, I couldn\’t help but cry: What a lovely child! Now, Kai Feng has graduated from college, and the little boy with low self-esteem has become a handsome young man. And I also understand that educating children is like planting flowers. You must wait patiently for the flowers to bloom. You do not require temporary speed and efficiency. Do not judge children based on their current performance, and do not easily label children negatively. Respect children\’s differences. Find the right method and time to let children discover their best selves from deep inside. Real gardeners don\’t care about the time when flowers bloom. They know that each flower has its own flowering period and fragrance!