A weird way to punish children without hitting or scolding! Are parents and teachers at home and abroad really crazy?

How do you punish your child when he does something wrong? Hit him? scold him? Maybe not the best choice! It is said that beating and scolding children is very harmful, but when their children are disobedient, are their parents so angry that they always want to find an opportunity to \”fix\” their naughty children? Other people’s parents have already done this, it’s so imaginative! The humiliating punishment of shaving a hairstyle that made her look 30 years older overnight hurts her self-esteem! It\’s so humiliating to hold up a sign and admit your mistake, will you dare to bully a little girl next time? You don’t understand how I feel when I’m hung up on a clothes pole as a frightening punishment, and I’m afraid of falling off! Forced punishment is always out of tune? Just put on the \”Together\” T-shirt. The farthest distance in the world is the farthest distance in the world, which is when I am in front of you and you can\’t see the \”As You Want\” punishment. Don\’t you always think about God? This time, you will be punished in the \”if you go up the wall and can\’t come down\” type of punishment. You can listen to your favorite song but not be able to dance to it. This is definitely the most cruel punishment in history~ However, the most terrifying thing is here! Mom and Dad said, \”If you don\’t obey me, I will send you to kindergarten or school!\” A college student was punished by the teacher for being late for class because he was late for class and was punished by the teacher for copying the word \”biang\” 1,000 times. In the end, he wrote 200 words \” It’s a bit silly” and gave up. After reading it, did you feel biang biang in your heart? Another student who was late for the Chinese-style penalty homework drew more than a hundred terracotta warriors and horses of various shapes. Baby, you are going to go to the Academy of Fine Arts! Is this kind of punishment effective for children? After reading all the strange punishment methods above, some parents may feel relieved. Doesn’t it mean that spanking and scolding are not allowed? Then try another way, which will not only make the child suffer, but also make the child remember it deeply, so as to avoid making mistakes again. This immediate result convinces parents that it works. However, many education and psychologists have criticized similar practices. For example, American parenting expert Amy McCready (founder of the Positive Parenting website) pointed out: This kind of public shaming of children is terrible. . Because after being humiliated, children will only make decisions based on whether the thing brings fear to them, and no longer consider whether it is the right thing to do. In fact, many studies have proven that punishment is not effective in correcting behavior at all. Even if the punished behavior does disappear temporarily, worse behavior will almost certainly follow: 1: Hurts children\’s self-esteem Punishments make children think they are bad, that they are bad, and then they will actually behave worse . For example, some children are often scolded at home and labeled as \”annoying\” or \”disruptive\”. They think they are like this and act accordingly. When shaming is part of the punishment, it can seriously damage a child\’s self-esteem. And this kind of pain is long-lasting. When I look back on the scene of punishment as an adult more than ten years later, I will still feel resentful in my heart. Even more tragically, many adults who have been punished themselves still use punishment to control their children when caring for them. They know that punishment hurt them, but the \”example\” of their parents and teachers has left a deep imprint on them. 2: Children will transfer their anger. After being punished, children often become very angry.Angry and wanting revenge, they sometimes vent their anger by hitting and hurting others, for example, a child who makes them unhappy is likely to suffer. 3: Punishment that destroys the parent-child relationship will cause children to develop hostility and hatred towards the parent who imposes the punishment. Some children will do everything possible to avoid it, while other children may find ways to retaliate, such as becoming rude and defiant, or refusing to try anything. protest. 4: Causes Fear and Avoidance Fear of punishment can lead children to sacrifice exploratory activities and initiative, ultimately hampering academic performance. 5: Children cannot learn correct behavior. Punishment can only tell children \”what they cannot do\” instead of teaching them \”what they should do\”. 6: It is easy for children to blindly obey the rude orders of parents and teachers to \”do as I say\” and require children to obey quickly, causing children to accept other people\’s opinions uncritically. This will inhibit the development of children\’s minds and prevent them from thinking proactively. . When children grow into teenagers, they will also obey peer pressure and do things that others think are \”cool\” without thinking, perhaps smoking, drinking, skipping classes, fighting, etc. 7: Unallowed behaviors will go \”underground\”. Punishment often cannot really reduce impermissible behaviors. It may cause the following situations: ① When someone is in charge, the child behaves well; when no one is in charge, the child will return to his old behavior. . ② Children who restrain themselves simply out of fear of punishment are likely to turn their behavior \”underground\” and become sneaky, hoping not to be caught. They may also become adept at lying and deceiving in order to get away with it. ③After some children have been punished, they feel that they no longer need to feel guilty. Instead, they no longer fear punishment, and even \”do bad things\” with peace of mind. 5 rules for “punishing” your kids! Improper punishment not only fails to help children self-discipline and care about the feelings of others, but also hurts children\’s sense of responsibility. However, parents also gave various reasons why punishment is necessary: ​​\”If they are not punished, they will escape discipline.\” \”Sometimes I get angry, but there is no other way.\” \”If there is no punishment, how will the child know that he did something wrong and will not do it again in the future?\” \”I punish him because that is the only discipline method he can understand.\” So, how do you turn “punishment” into a more effective way to discipline your children? Parents also need to abide by the following rules: 1. The rules should be clear. Parents should clearly inform their children of the rules they should abide by, for example: ▶ \”It is dangerous for you to stand so high, you can\’t do that!\” ▶ \”You can\’t do that with the soup bowl that was just served. Touch!\” And the tone, eyes and body language should be consistent to let the children understand the mandatory rules, instead of saying like a joke, \”Are you standing so high to be a clairvoyant? Be careful of falling!\” If the child can\’t tell the difference, Qing\’s parents\’ words are wishes or orders. Once he is punished, he will feel aggrieved because he doesn\’t know where he went wrong. 2. Don’t treat punishment as a threat if your child disobeys. Some parents often threaten: ▶ “If you don’t obey again, I will send you to kindergarten!” ▶ “If you don’t obey again, I will tell your teacher!” ▶ “If you don’t obey again, I will kick you out! \”Of course, parents say this but will not actually take action, but after children have heard threats countless times, they willLet it fall on deaf ears. Therefore, parents should not abuse threats and must determine whether they can enforce them before setting rules for their children. ▶\”I hope you will put away the toys after playing with them. If you don\’t do it, then cancel the opportunity to watch TV today.\” If the child does not do as required, then the parents cannot bargain with him, but they must do what they say and resolutely implement it punish. 3. Different punishment methods for different mistakes. If a child makes different mistakes, such as lying, breaking a vase, or imitating adults in swearing, the punishment method should also be the same. For example, the punishment for lying is to cancel the week\’s pocket money and break the vase. The punishment is to clean and tidy the room, and the punishment for swearing is to cancel an outing, etc., so that children can truly realize their mistakes. 4. Different ages have different punishments. For children under 5 years old, the best punishment for making mistakes is to be left out and isolated. If you ignore them for a few minutes, the children will feel that they have received a heavy punishment. For children over 5 years old, physical labor such as tidying up the room, cleaning, washing dishes, etc. can be used as a remedy. For example: ▶If the child spills juice on the table, parents can let him wipe it with a rag; If it is broken, you have to find a way to fix it by yourself; ▶If the toy is thrown on the floor, you have to clean it up by yourself. This is an opportunity to let him know that he is responsible for his actions, relieve the child\’s guilt by \”paying off the debt\”, and thereby correct his mistakes. 5. Not all activities can be prohibited by removing the things that the child likes. Forbidding the child from doing things that he likes to do, such as watching TV, playing video games, going out, etc., will make him realize the cost of his mistakes. However, it should be noted that not all activities can be prohibited. For example, activities related to children\’s personality and healthy development, such as sports activities, food, etc., should not be prohibited. Punishment is a means of education and a subtle art of tutoring. Only by possessing the wisdom to punish children can we truly achieve the purpose of educating children.