How did you raise your children to be \”poor\”?

During the Spring Festival, I was chatting with some relatives and friends, and I talked about a distant relative’s child, Xiaobin, who is a junior this year. We all feel that this child is a pity. He is very smart and hardworking, but he only went to a very ordinary university. The cousin said: \”It\’s a pity, but this child has already been admitted to the best university he can go to with his own efforts.\” The cousin explained that other parents know how to make up for their children and take them out. I have seen the world, but in their family, when they asked their children to take extra classes, the adults shook their heads and the children shook their heads too. They all said that the tutor\’s charge of 80 yuan per class was like robbery. \”Relying on free compulsory education and self-awareness, I want my children to compete with a group of children who are trying their best to obtain high-quality educational resources. Can they survive? If parents are short-sighted, their children will be short-sighted and have a poor mentality.\” I don\’t think it is necessary to get into college well. You have to rely on supplementary lessons, but you do agree with your parents’ way of thinking, which has a profound impact on your children. Xiaobin\’s family still lives in a bungalow on the edge of our hometown, a small city. His family is not particularly difficult. His mother is a home nurse and his father is a grassroots civil servant in the county. It\’s not enough compared to the top, but it\’s still more than enough compared to the bottom. When I was a child, I remember that many relatives and friends advised Xiaobin’s parents to buy a building as soon as possible while the house prices were cheap. Those who are spared have to burn stoves and kangs in their bungalows and queue up for public toilets. Some relatives and friends have even offered to help buy a cheap house and get a bank loan. The down payment is not high, and the monthly loan repayments do not require much. But the opinions of Xiaobin’s parents are always: “Don’t buy it, don’t buy it, save some money for your son.” “It costs too much to live in a building. The water bill will definitely increase, and you have to pay the heating bill. It’s too expensive. \”, \”Wait and see, maybe housing prices can still fall.\” However, housing prices have not only not declined in recent years, but have increased more than 10 times in recent years. Xiaobin\’s father also lamented that if he had thought that buying a house was also an investment and could make money, he would not be so stubborn. Today\’s Xiaobin has a very similar way of thinking to his parents\’ generation. Once I went on a business trip to his city and visited him by the way. He took me to the place where he worked part-time for dinner. That was a stall selling fried rice in their school cafeteria. Xiao Bin helps out for one hour at noon and one hour in the evening every day. The stall provides free meals, and his monthly salary is 700 yuan. Xiao Bin said that his boss was very kind to him and very satisfied with him. \”They also hired others, but they couldn\’t do as well as me. I remember who ordered what and I never missed a meal.\” When asked what Xiaobin’s plans were for the future, he replied that he wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination, but he didn’t know where yet. He said, \”Now I work as a tutor on Saturdays and Sundays, and I work part-time in the cafeteria on weekdays. Don\’t worry, I\’m fine now.\” I gave him a lot of advice that day and suggested that if he wanted to work part-time, it would be best to do something related to his major. It will also be helpful in the future workplace, rather than being a waiter who can be easily replaced. If you want to take the postgraduate entrance examination, make a decision as soon as possible. Make sure you have enough time to study and go to a good school… At that time, Xiaobin was a little bit nod, but it was only after the Chinese New Year that he learned that he had not quit his part-time job in the cafeteria, nor had he decided whether to take the postgraduate entrance examination or find a job. Now his classmates have either found internship units or have already prepared for the postgraduate entrance examination, but he is the only one who is still confused. \”The poor think\”Wei\” is not the thinking of the \”poor\”, but the thinking of treating oneself as a poor person no matter what the living conditions are. Just like Xiaobin\’s parents, they love their children wholeheartedly. But \”Our family is poor, and we have to work hard.\” The idea of ​​​​\”saving money\” inadvertently caused the children to miss a lot of scenery that should be more beautiful. When the children were growing up, they always thought that the family was very poor, and I needed to save money, save money, and save money again. I never enjoyed it calmly. The convenience and happiness that money brings. Studying, working and living with this kind of thinking will not only add a lot of worries and troubles, but also lose many precious opportunities and friends. If we want our children to avoid detours, we should Teach children to stay away from \”poor thinking\” and open their horizons, so that they can go further in the future. ☞Tell your children that time is an expensive cost. The daughter of neighbor Chun\’s family is in the third grade of elementary school, and her grades are not getting better or worse. He is at the average level in the class. Sister Chun said: \”This child actually doesn\’t study hard, but he is quite smart. During this period, I used my mobile phone to help me grab red envelopes every day. Sometimes I could grab more than 10 yuan a day…\” \”I even grabbed more than 40 yuan once! \”The little girl interrupted proudly. The little girl begged for red envelopes or grabbed the red envelopes given by others in various red envelope groups, voting groups, mother groups, classmates groups, and family groups. Sister Chun never realized that a A day in the life of a third-grade child should not be about grabbing red envelopes worth a few cents or cents, which are worth far more than 10 yuan. This is a critical stage of learning and growth for her. \”Poor people\’s thinking\” is always used to it. Use time to exchange money. If you want to watch movies or books, you will be willing to spend an hour or two to find out if there are free resources. But things that seem to be free are actually the most expensive. Parents want their children to get out of this state. , you need to help your children establish a concept of time value and let them understand that using a lot of precious time in exchange for some small profits is the most loss-making business. ☞Don’t let your children worry too much about money. Psychologist Li Xue once said The book wrote about a little incident in her childhood. She said: My family was not rich when I was a child, but my father made me feel very rich. I saw a crayfish seller on the roadside and said, \”The crayfish are so cute. I want a crayfish as a pet. My mother asked, \”What\’s the use of buying it?\” If you buy it, I will help you clean it up when the time comes! \”Dad saw that I looked bad, so he came over and asked me what was wrong. I said I wanted crayfish, but my mother wouldn\’t buy them. \”How many do you want? \”I just want one.\” \”Buy 3 and go back.\” \”My father is like this. In fact, he doesn\’t have much money in crayfish, but he gives me a feeling of wealth. It is true that every family\’s financial situation is different, but if the family can still guarantee basic food and clothing, I really don\’t recommend it to parents. They often tell their children that \”the family has no money\” and \”our family is very poor and very difficult.\” This will make a child position himself outside the circle of other children prematurely. The resulting inferiority, sensitivity and insecurity, Maybe no amount of money will be spent in the future to make up for it. ☞Teach children to make rational judgments and learn to stop losses in time. A mother takes her children to the park to play a fishing game. It costs 15 yuan for half an hour.You can take a small net bag and fish it out in the pond. A parent next to me also brought his child to play, but sometimes he disliked the child for taking it too slowly, and sometimes he disliked the child for getting his clothes wet. The child was told by his parents that he had no interest at all, and because his clothes were wet, he told his parents that he was cold and didn\’t want to play anymore. The parents told their children that they had already paid the money and it would be a big loss if they didn’t play enough. If you don’t play now, don’t even think about playing again in the future. The child had no choice but to stand by the pool aggrievedly, waiting for the time to come. In fact, what parents did at this time was very unwise. They are teaching their children to chase “sunk costs.” I have already purchased the ticket, but the 15 yuan cannot be returned. But time belongs to oneself, and it is also a kind of \”poor man\’s thinking\” to sacrifice the whole family\’s time and the children\’s happy feelings for the cost that has disappeared. Not everything is worth holding on to, such as a very bad movie in the theater, such as expired food and medicine, such as a relationship in which the other party no longer loves, such as a job with no future, all of these, All require the courage to break up, let go, and leave. The earlier parents teach their children to make rational judgments and not cry over spilled milk, the less burden their children will have in the future. ☞Broaden horizons with children and learn for life. During my winter vacation in college, I was playing computer at home at night. I saw my father getting dressed and getting ready to go out, and I casually asked him where he was going. My father told me that I was going to the train station and wanted to go out tomorrow to see what time the train would leave and if I could buy a ticket. I quickly stopped it. I didn’t have to go out. I could directly check the train schedule on the Internet and book tickets directly. Just take your ID card and pick it up tomorrow. My father watched me finish booking the tickets and lamented his own backwardness and the progress of the times. Indeed, today’s society and technology are developing rapidly, and no one dares to predict what it will look like in twenty years. But what kind of children will be eliminated in twenty years\’ time, the answer is obvious. That is a child who has a narrow vision, is hesitant, has no ambition, has rigid thinking, and just wants to stick to his own little world. Only when parents realize the importance of learning and education can children reach a higher level. Only when parents open their horizons first can children change their minds and look at problems from different angles. Under the same conditions of money and class, what kind of life attitude do parents give their children and what kind of way of thinking do they teach their children? Directly affects the child\’s future.