After my son got tired of studying, I realized: the stupidest education is to make children suffer the \”hardship of learning\”

In recent days, many parents have been asking: \”Teacher, my child is lying flat on his back during the summer vacation and has stopped studying at all. What should I do?\” Being tired of studying has long become a very common education problem. According to a survey, 46% of teenagers aged 10-18 lack interest in learning, 33% show aversion to learning, and only 21% of children can truly take the initiative to learn. Once a child is tired of learning and no longer wants to go to school, what is the most common approach? I believe many parents have a deep understanding that the most typical behavior of their children is that they cannot get up in the morning and avoid going to school. I had a child like this before. I have to go to school every morning, but I just don’t get up and stay in bed, my parents shouting over and over again. Not only did this child not get up, he also had an extremely bad temper and yelled at his parents to leave him alone. For parents, they have to go to work every day, and they will be late if they don\’t leave. While they are in a hurry to go out, their children don\’t get up. We have to worry about being late for work and worrying about our children not going to school. I believe every parent can deeply understand the anxiety, anxiety and helplessness in our hearts! So, let’s talk today. What should we parents do when our children are seriously tired of studying, don’t want to go to school, and can’t get up in the morning? I will share the real information below, everyone must read it carefully. 01First of all, the first point, a very important point! Be sure not to blame or criticize your children! Many parents, when they see their children not getting up and making noises about not wanting to go to school, become very anxious, very anxious, and even get angry. They will say to their children: If you don\’t want to go to school, what do you want to do? Your parents send you to school for your own good. If you don\’t go to school, what can you do? We have worked hard to earn money for you to go to school, and you actually told me that you don’t want to go to school. How disobedient! I think you are just lazy and don\’t want to endure hardship. Can you know something? You must have said the above to your children, right? But, is it useful? It\’s definitely useless! The child won’t listen at all! Let me analyze for you why it is useless: these words are more or less filled with complaints, accusations, and anger. What does your child feel when you say this? It\’s your attack on him! What do people do when they are attacked? Will naturally produce defense and confrontation to protect themselves! So, remember, we must not blame or criticize our children! Secondly, the second point is that we must understand the fact that many times, when children say they don’t want to go to school, most of them just want to vent their inner dissatisfaction to their parents. Some parents may not believe it, but this is the truth! Just like you sometimes say, \”I don\’t want to go to work today, and I don\’t want to go to work tomorrow. I want to resign.\” Your child is the same as you. He goes to school every day, does homework every day, gets up early and comes home late every day. He is also tired and also I need to vent, I also need to complain, there is no need to make a fuss, I feel like the sky is falling. As long as you understand this, you won\’t be so anxious or anxious when your children complain, lose your temper, or say they don\’t want to go to school. At this time, the most correct thing to do is not to rush to preach.Reason: \”What?! It\’s wrong that you don\’t want to go to school. Children should go to school!\” These words must not be said. These children all know that saying them will only annoy them. What you have to do is very simple, just listen quietly. After listening, you can use some skills to ask the child why he does not want to go to school, and then prescribe the right medicine to help the child resolve and release his inner dissatisfaction. You must be asking: What should I say? The child doesn’t talk to us at all, what should we do? I will teach you the specific words today. You must read it carefully. We can say this to our children: Do you know the child’s name? Actually I really admire your courage! I know that as a student, it really takes a lot of courage to dare to say not to go to school! There must be some big reason why you don\’t want to go to school, right? Can you talk to your mother? Can you tell mom why you don\’t want to go to school? Are you unhappy at school? \”Do you know what I mean by saying this? It\’s to empathize with the child\’s feelings and open the child\’s heart! Only when the child feels understood, seen, and recognized will he open his heart and put his own After you express your thoughts and understand your child\’s inner thoughts, you can specifically help him. After completing the first two steps and understanding your child\’s thoughts, we can proceed to the third step naturally. 02 To summarize: When a child doesn’t get up in the morning, loses his temper, and doesn’t want to go to school, we parents must not be influenced by the child’s emotions. The belt has gone astray. First of all, we must be calm and rational. We cannot get angry and blame the children at the same time, but we also want to educate and guide the children. This is completely impossible. We must be calm. Coping is the premise and foundation. Then, we need to empathize with the child, open the child\’s heart, and let the child be willing to express his inner thoughts, current feelings, or difficulties he encounters. Finally, we target the child. If you have difficulties or problems, find ways to help them, face them together, and solve them together. The above content is how we parents can help children who don’t want to get up or go to school to get up and go to school smoothly. Many parents have said this after using it. The method is very effective. However, I also want to talk about a very cruel reality problem. The above method is very effective, but it can only solve the problem once or twice. Why does it still not work if you use it too much? ? Because these methods are actually only solving the most superficial problem, that is, the child does not want to get up and go to school. Behind this appearance, there is a deeper problem – the child hates learning, avoids learning, and hates learning. ! Only by solving this deeper problem of being tired of studying, other problems such as not wanting to get up, not doing homework, being addicted to mobile phones, arriving late and leaving early, etc., will be solved naturally! , how to solve the problem of children being tired of studying! 03 If we want to solve the problem of children being tired of studying, weWe must know: Why do children get tired of learning, why do they resist, and why do they avoid going to school? Why do other children get up early, go to school on time, and study seriously in class? Let us first analyze the reasons why children are tired of studying. The first reason: Parents are too concerned about their children\’s learning and take the responsibility for their children\’s learning on themselves. The children feel that learning is the parents\’ business, not mine, and they cannot find the meaning of learning. The second reason: parents have too high requirements and expectations for their children, and the children are under too much pressure to learn. If the children never meet the requirements, they will escape and lie down. Remember, inappropriate expectations are the poison that causes children to be tired of learning! The third reason: Parents pay too much attention to their children\’s academic performance. If they do well, they will be happy; if they do not do well, they will be disappointed and criticized. Let children feel that they are learning machines. Parents like the learning machine, not themselves, and then reject learning. The fourth reason: Parents always like to criticize and deny their children. They cannot see any good things in their children. They are full of shortcomings. The children have no sense of self-worth and no enthusiasm for learning. The fifth reason: Parents do not approve of their children, nag their children, or even often beat and scold their children, resulting in a poor parent-child relationship. No matter what the parents say, the children will refute and fight, and cannot calm down to study. The sixth reason: The child does not recognize the school and class, has a bad relationship with teachers and classmates, has no sense of identity and belonging, and thus rejects learning, and even does not want to go to school.