I used 4 methods to awaken my son\’s inner drive in 3 months and successfully transformed into a top student…

Every parent wants their children to achieve academically, and I am no exception. As his son Xiaoyu entered junior high school, his grades have been hovering at the bottom of the class. Every time I see the mediocre or even unsightly scores on his transcript, I can\’t help but go crazy. Moreover, he has a serious lack of interest in learning. He goes home every day and rushes to finish his homework as if he has completed the task, and then becomes addicted to video games. During that time, I was extremely anxious and tried everything from harsh discipline to gentle persuasion, but to no avail. I even signed him up for several after-school tutoring classes online. At first, my son could pretend to attend class and study, but later, he fell asleep on the table during online classes, let alone doing homework on time. It’s really exhausting. Until one day, I happened to read a book about adolescent psychology in the library, which mentioned the concept of \”drive\”. Only then did I realize: Regardless of talent or family environment, if you really want to push a child to continue to work hard and make progress, you still need to awaken their strong inner drive. Therefore, if you want your son to change, you must find a way to ignite the spark within him. So, after a series of careful planning, I started my \”routine\” journey. Pretending to be stupid and showing weakness stimulates children\’s sense of accomplishment. Education blogger @阿利u once talked about his mother\’s routine. When he was in the third or fourth grade of elementary school, he always made mistakes in calculation questions, especially calculations involving 7 and 8. He would make mistakes every time he encountered one. The more mistakes he made, the less he wanted to practice, and his head hurt when he saw the numbers. So, my mother prepared two pieces of paper and wrote exactly the same questions on them. The two of them did it at the same time, and they corrected each other after they finished. As a result, his mother always made mistakes, but he got more things right than his mother, and he won every time. After winning a few times, he felt particularly accomplished. Later, when doing questions, he gradually set higher demands on himself and got more and more answers correct. In fact, learning itself is very boring and difficult, and it is difficult to obtain the joy of success in a short period of time. Why are games so attractive? It\’s because when we play games, we pass levels after levels. By passing the levels, we can get the joy of success and a full sense of accomplishment. No one likes to be abused by nature. If you want your child to fall in love with learning, you must first let him experience the sense of accomplishment in learning. After thinking about this, I decided to join forces with my teammates to pretend to be stupid. I knew that my son had a good foundation in mathematics, so I asked my teammates to find a relatively simple question to ask him: \”Son, my father recently wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and he has forgotten a lot of his previous knowledge. Would you like to help him?\” My son was very worried at first. \”You don\’t know how to solve such a simple question?\” We always put on a humble attitude, listened carefully and took notes, and asked our son questions from time to time. As the questions we gave him became more and more difficult, my son often had to think about them for days, and even asked the teacher to explain them to us. During this process, my son became more and more enthusiastic when talking, and gradually began to have higher demands on himself. He often studied math problems alone in the room. Seeing that the time was right, we slowly began to ask him for advice on other subjects. In this way, with our deliberate \”cultivation\”, our son\’s desire to explore is overwhelming, and he is like a \”little old man\” at home.\”Teacher\”. I think of what an educator said. The best way to stimulate a child\’s inner drive is to let him become a primary school teacher. This sense of accomplishment of \”I am better than my parents\” is the best way to enhance children\’s confidence and enthusiasm for learning. Motivation. Appropriate rewards make children motivated. Tiger mother Yu Jinguo, who sent two of her children to Harvard, mentioned when talking about her youngest son: This child has made people worry-free every time he is asked to practice piano. If he showed resistance, he would either act silly and waste time, or not practice at all. To this end, Yu Jinguo made a rule with him: \”Practice on time, and you can watch his favorite animation after it\’s over; if you cheat or don\’t practice, you won\’t be able to practice at all this week.\” I want to watch animation; if I practice well, I can increase the time I spend watching animation. \”This trick really worked, and my son\’s piano practice became more and more efficient. Every child is born to have fun, especially during the learning process. It is normal for children to be afraid of difficulties and want to escape. When children develop conscious learning However, if parents are too forceful, it is easy for children to become rebellious and difficult to sustain. At this time, parents can use appropriate reward mechanisms to make learning more attractive. It stimulates children\’s enthusiasm for learning. My son used to hate memorizing texts. At that time, he really liked playing King, so I made a chart and posted it on the wall. The bottom layer was made of bronze. Accumulate one star, and every 5 stars you upgrade to a level. Every time you level up, you can open a surprise blind box I prepared. The blind box contains the words \”Take him to a movie\” and \”Go eat his favorite barbecue.\” \”, \”Give him a piece of clothing he likes\”, etc. If he can rise to the level of the strongest king, I will take him to see the concert of JJ Lin that I miss so much. As expected, my son became interested all of a sudden. He can do it every day after school without having to rush him. He actively asked me to recite the text, which was very motivating. Later, he gradually mastered the skills and experience of memorizing the text, and he recited the text faster and faster, and it was not as strenuous as at the beginning. It became a habit for his children to do it every day. When I feel the joy of learning and gradually develop a habit, it is the transformation process of this child from external drive to internal drive. Before being a lazy mother and giving my child full freedom, I couldn\’t help but worry about Xiaoyu\’s learning. Supervise him, urge him, and \”knock\” him from time to time: \”Have you finished your homework today?\” Do it quickly! \”The midterm exam is coming soon, so hurry up and review!\” \”Chinese is my shortcoming, so I have to put more thought into it.\” \”Xiaoyu is very impatient every time, \”I know, you don\’t need to tell me! \”And then I had no enthusiasm for learning. Later, I saw a case shared by Yang Jie, a child educator. When a boy just entered the first grade, his mother stared at him doing homework every day. The boy felt irritable and when doing homework, He was always fussing around, but he wouldn\’t move if his mother didn\’t urge him. As time passed, he even ignored his mother\’s urging and went to play on his own. He always stayed late. His mother was so angry that she could only beat him, but the child became more and more rebellious, and every time her mother hit him, he would hit her twice.The two often faced each other all night, and the last stroke of the child\’s homework was left untouched. Teacher Yin Jianli said: \”In education, if you want a child to reject something, force him to do so.\” Children have no internal drive. It is often the process of parents accompanying them, urging them with words, criticizing and spurring them, which deprives children of their sense of autonomy. Studying and writing homework are things that children need to complete independently. Therefore, I decided to be a lazy mother from now on and return the initiative and control of learning to my son. I found my son and told him that I would no longer watch him study. In the future, as long as he could complete his homework on time, he could arrange his own time. Including that after he successfully reached the strongest king, I canceled this reward system. My son said nervously: \”Mom, then won\’t I have any rewards in the future?\” I shook my head: \”No, if you want to go out to eat, mom can take you to eat. Mom can also give you whatever you like. Buy; you are already able to manage yourself very well, so mom thinks you don’t need these things anymore, and mom can give you the power to study.” My son nodded, and sure enough, he didn’t let me down, and he was able to do it on time every day. Complete your homework. When children have sufficient autonomy in learning, they will voluntarily devote themselves to learning and have continuous enthusiasm and motivation for learning. Find his points of interest and ignite his passion for learning. Psychological counselor Chen Yu once said something: She knew a girl who was in the second grade of junior high school. She didn\’t have much tutoring, but she had a very strong interest in biology. So girls spend time watching a lot of BBC documentaries, some three or four times. The girl also likes to read the autopsy report, and will discuss with her how to look through the body spots to see when the person died, whether he died prone or lying down. Therefore, she was extremely looking forward to the biology class in the third grade of junior high school because she had the opportunity to dissect a crucian carp. When she talked about this, I felt very vivid. This is the so-called motivation to learn. However, many parents deprive their children of their interests, curiosity about the world, and exploration of self-worth because of \”academic first\”. Therefore, I think we can help children find their own value and inner motivation by exploring their interests. For example, through observation, I found that Xiaoyu especially likes to play basketball and is very interested in the data of NBA players. He often looks up information and watches games in his spare time. So, I found a basketball statistics book about mathematics, which introduced in detail how to use statistical methods to analyze and predict the results of basketball games. I put the book on Xiaoyu\’s desk and attached a note, writing: \”Son, this math book contains a lot of interesting basketball statistical knowledge. You will definitely like it!\” Sure enough, Xiaoyu When he saw this book, his eyes suddenly lit up. He opened the pages excitedly and started reading. He even began to take the initiative to learn mathematics, hoping to better understand various data in basketball games. When a child\’s interest is completely stimulated, learning becomes no longer boring, and the change from \”I want to learn\” to \”I want to learn\” changes. In this way, three months passed. My son began to take the initiative to read, think actively, and even actively participate in various activities at school.Subject discussion. His grades improved naturally. More importantly, his passion for knowledge was completely ignited and he began to learn spontaneously. In this way, we have experienced a magnificent transformation from ordinary to extraordinary. Now, looking back on the three-month journey, I have to say that every step was full of challenges and rewards. I also want to tell all parents: children’s drive is not born with them, it needs to be cultivated with love and wisdom. Don\’t rush for success, give your children time and space so they can find their own passion and direction through exploration. Click \”Like\”, I hope every child can be full of enthusiasm, be born towards the sun, and strive for self-reliance without waiting for the whip.