An unlucky childhood cannot prevent a person from being successful, but it is enough to affect a person\’s happiness.

Psychologists say: A person\’s life is a constant repetition of the first six years. As the Chinese saying goes, when you are three years old, you are young, and when you are seven, you are old. It has a color of \”childhood determinism\”. To put it bluntly, it is \”destiny\”. As those \”before the age of seven\” who are incapable of autonomous behavior, they do not have much personal will. If they do, it is due to their parents\’ genes and their parenting methods. To change this, parents decide their children’s life. Having come to such a conclusion, I believe many people will cry. My parents have neither clever minds nor extraordinary wisdom. He has neither the wealth to have enough food and clothing nor the emotion to accompany him patiently. My childhood was desolate. what to do? Is my life destined to end before it even begins? In the classic film \”The Killer Is Not So Cold\”, a little girl asked Leon: \”Is life always so painful? Or is it only like this when you were a child?\” The answer was: \”It\’s always like this.\” The question and answer revealed the sadness and despair. . Our early experiences, stroke by stroke, outline the original blueprint of life in our minds. All subsequent experiences were just constant modification, smearing, and drawing, until one day, a new life picture was formed, completely covering up the background of childhood. It was only then, and only then, that the curse of childhood was truly freed. For example, Takeshi Kitano, a very famous Japanese director, lived in a slum since he was a child. His father was violent and his mother was greedy. This childhood created his extremely complex character, but it did not affect his success. Roger Rawls was the first black governor of New York in the history of the United States, and he was also born in a notorious slum. There are also many \”successful\” people around who lived unhappy childhoods but are active in a certain field as adults. However, success does not equate to happiness. The ability to shock the wind and clouds does not necessarily mean the ability to love and be loved. Many years ago, I read a novel by Liang Xiaosheng, but I can’t remember the title. The general idea is that a boy grew up in a poor family and his parents didn\’t know how to care. He spent his childhood hard in both material and spiritual poverty. As an adult, he relied on his intelligence and hard work to occupy a place in the business world. Live in a mansion, marry a beautiful woman, and raise a Tibetan mastiff. Visiting high-end places, but not at home all year round. The elderly mother and young wife rely on two Tibetan mastiffs to keep them company. At the end of the book, he returns home one day and finds his mother and wife bitten to death by Tibetan mastiffs, marking the end of his glorious life. I was about fifteen years old when I read this book. The idea at the time was that this person\’s so-called success was just to satisfy his own greed and inner shortcomings. He doesn\’t know how to love his relatives. Later, I wanted to read it again, but unfortunately I couldn\’t remember the title and couldn\’t find it. Literature is based on reality, but it is higher than reality. This novel may be a bit extreme, but it also proves how some people\’s superficial scenery and inner vicissitudes overlap. The real impact of childhood misfortunes, especially poor relationships with parents, on a person\’s adult life is not on a person\’s career, but on relationships and feelings. The sense of accomplishment comes from career success. Happiness comes from the establishment of relationships, especially intimate relationships. This can explain why some women who have successful careers are not happy in marriage. some workA man who is the leader in his field has ups and downs in his love life. Love and marriage are the main forms of intimate relationships. Psychological counselor Rong Weiling said: A love relationship is actually a copy of the parent-child relationship. If our childhood was happy, we are more likely to replicate the happiness; if our childhood was painful, we are more likely to replicate the pain. It seems to be back to \”childhood determinism\”. The relationship between childhood and parents is determined by the parents. Therefore, for a person, his family environment and his early relationship with his parents lay the foundation for his life\’s happiness. I went home during the Spring Festival and visited a classmate. She asked why our relationship as husband and wife was harmonious and good for our children, but his grades were not good. Another classmate\’s husband and wife often fight, but his son\’s grades are outstanding. She said she couldn\’t figure it out. In fact, what’s so surprising about this? There may not always be \”legitimate\” reasons behind a child\’s hard work. For example, I have a classmate who studied very hard and later went to a prestigious university. The reason why he fought so hard was to \”leave that gloomy home.\” There is also a colleague who studies psychology diligently after working so as not to become like his father. Not all efforts are aimed at realizing grand ideals. This is the helplessness of a child and the sorrow of parents. Success does not equate to happiness, but success can repair wounds and create happiness. Take Kitano, for example, repaired his relationship with his father by directing and acting in his own films. There is also \”Riding the Wind and Waves\” which was just released a few days ago. It was only after the male protagonist became successful that he had the opportunity to change his understanding of his father and his relationship with him. This is also what the famous American psychologist Maslow said: People\’s physiological needs are at the bottom of all their needs, and the needs at the top are to achieve the satisfaction of personal spiritual needs through self-realization. Spiritual needs themselves include love and being loved. A happy life is everyone\’s desire and yearning. And only by getting out of the quagmire of childhood misfortune can we find a breakthrough in happiness. You can read books, travel, meditate, exercise, talk to wise men, or have psychological consultation. No matter what form it takes, it is all for spiritual growth, getting out of the prison of childhood, and meeting the happy self. Just as South African President Mandela said at the presidential inauguration to the guards who detained him and tortured him for 27 years: When I walked out of the cell and stepped through the prison door leading to freedom, I already knew that if I could not Leave the grief and resentment behind, and I will still be in prison.