Don\’t rush to work hard, train it first, and then learn it to be effective

On Friday, I accompanied my son to a math class at an institution. The children listened in the front and the parents accompanied him in the back. At the beginning, my son was quite active. He would raise his hand to answer questions from time to time, and he could answer correctly when asked by the teacher. In the second half, my son obviously couldn\’t keep up and probably didn\’t do the classroom exercises correctly. I saw the teacher beside him giving instructions on his homework. The kid next to him seemed to be following along easily and responsively. After the class was over, I asked him, \”Baby, Mommy saw that you didn\’t speak or look at the blackboard in the second half of the class. Can you tell Mommy what\’s wrong?\” My son said, \”I\’m tired and sleepy.\” I asked, \” Do you always feel sleepy at this time? Or is it just today?\” My son replied: \”No. I am very sleepy today.\” I said: \”Okay, what can I do to ensure that I won\’t feel sleepy next time in class?\” My son replied. He said: \”Go to bed early. You should go to bed early the night before.\” I said: \”Go to bed early, what time do you mean you go to bed?\” My son said: \”Go to bed at 8:30 so that you can fall asleep at 9:00.\” I asked again : \”Then what can you do to ensure that you go to bed at 8:30? I see that it is almost time for you to go to bed, and you have to do various things, such as packing your schoolbag, eating snacks, packing toys, etc.\” My son said: \”Then eat Good food, don’t play now, do your homework, clean up before playing.” I said, “Okay. Then we will try your method next time.” If the child cannot listen because he is dozing off, I will Don\’t blame him. And if I find him pretending to listen to the lecture, I will be very angry. Because pretending to study is a very uneconomical thing, and it is better not to do it than to do it. I would tell him that in the past 2 hours, you didn’t listen to the class well. You were sitting in the classroom and you didn’t succeed in playing or learning. It’s really not cost-effective! Even if you use this time to sleep and rest your mind, it is still of some value. But you actually spent time and energy on wandering, but you didn\’t gain anything at all. At the same time, it also wastes your mother\’s time and energy. For this reason, your mother has to spend more than an extra hour to make up lessons for you. This does not include the monetary cost. This approach is really a pity and wasteful! The reason why I care so much about this matter is because I have made similar mistakes before without knowing it at the time. I still felt that I was working very hard. I was very busy every day, studying this and that, reading a lot of books… until one day, I suddenly had an idea. Discovered that the attitude of effort is not important, only focused efforts are valuable. Many people are busy and wasting their time and energy. I also mistakenly thought that I was very \”motivated\”. The reason may simply be that it looks \”progressive\” and doesn\’t feel guilty about wasting time. In fact, it is just an image of \”hard work\”. The correct posture is to devote yourself wholeheartedly to doing something. Even if it’s only 5 minutes at a time. The process of being fully immersed is to gather our attention and focus on one thing, one person, and one place at a certain moment. Just like a magnifying glass, focusing the sunlight on a point will produce huge energy. Make a qualitative leap in the quality of your learning. It’s not that most people don’t work hard, but that they lack “focus.” we are always therePretend to be working hard, slowly start to question yourself, then envy others, then continue to pretend to work hard, then start to question yourself again, envy others… I believe, at this moment, you must have some awareness. Is this cycle familiar? Of course, it is not difficult to break out of this \”cycle\”. The hard thing is, you never realize it. Or realize it but not master the method. I will introduce a few methods that I commonly use to cultivate concentration. First, eliminate environmental interference. We are all ordinary people, so I can\’t do the kind of \”living in a busy city without being disturbed\”. So when I work or study at home, I lock the door. A note was posted on the door, which said, \”Wang Yuhua is recording from 4 to 6 o\’clock this afternoon. Dear friends, please do not disturb me. The door will open after 6 o\’clock. Thank you.\” At first, my family couldn\’t stand it and felt that I always like to do some inexplicable tricks, and then I got used to it. Actually, I\’m not really recording all the time, but I write \”recording\” so that everyone can be quieter outside. My son won’t come knocking or banging on the door. Plus, I\’m the kind of person who\’s notoriously reluctant to answer the phone. I divide the time into several units. In order to ensure that there is a complete and uninterrupted time, the mobile phone is usually in a silent state. Only after completing a task will I look at the mobile phone and reply to WeChat or phone calls. This ensures that you proactively control your time. Many friends who often contact me would hate me for doing this at first, but every time I sincerely reply, \”I\’m sorry, I was just on the road.\” And then, of course, later on, everyone got used to it. Secondly, I also stay highly focused by reading aloud or writing articles. Because reading aloud and writing articles, you really can’t be distracted. And just using your eyes to read a book cannot guarantee continuous concentration, because your eyes will really jump around. In order to stay focused while reading, I will use Lychee or Himalaya to record the sound of myself reading. When I first started recording, I would be nervous. As I read, I muttered to myself: I read it wrong again…ah, I read too slowly here…oh, the pronunciation of this word is wrong. Hey, why is this name so difficult to pronounce? …Hey, why does my voice sound so weird…Every time I finish recording, I dare not listen to my own voice. So I sent the recording to the family group for my parents to listen to. Haha, my parents will never dislike me. Facts have proven that this method can not only train concentration, but also has many \”by-products\”, which can be said to serve multiple purposes with one stone. After I persisted with this reading method for more than a month, I obviously felt that my speech had a more rhythmic feel and my expression was calmer and more orderly than before. I became more and more attentive while reading, and even during the reading process I could feel the author\’s mood and emotional state when he wrote this text. That kind of immersive state is really a pleasure. To this end, I also specially formed a [Sister Yu’s book-eating group] to play this training with more people. The third method is to close your eyes and concentrate. I remember when I was studying mind-body therapy, in class, I was asked to communicate with a classmate in full view of the public. In order to eliminate visual interference, once on stage,I just close my eyes and communicate only through my hands and elbows and my heart. When I focus all my attention on the other person, even with my eyes closed, I can clearly feel the other person\’s emotional fluctuations, even a slight hesitation, or the slight reaction of the other person\’s body to one of my words. In fact, in daily life, it is not difficult for us to find that you can feel whether the other person\’s attention is on you. You can also feel whether the other person\’s heart is with you. This is where concentration is magical. I suddenly understood why many people prefer one-on-one consultation. Because when the counselor puts all his attention on you, the feeling of being seen, cared for, and supported is really moving. It is a sense of satisfaction that \”at this moment, there is only you and me in the world.\” Most people fail not because of lack of ability, but because they consume a person\’s most valuable resource \”concentration\” as worthless. In addition to the three methods I commonly use above, the following habits are also very helpful for training \”concentration\”: (1) Eliminate emotional interference. In addition to environmental interference, we must also eliminate our emotional interference. In the past few years, I have given up most of the negative emotions such as complaining and anger. Sometimes I will pretend to be angry, but I will not use my \”qi\” easily. Because if things are already very bad and you use your \”infuriating energy\” again, wouldn\’t it be a bigger loss? Once the brain is occupied by emotions, all the wasted energy is \”money\”! Energy is actually a resource that money cannot buy. Keeping ourselves in a relatively calm state most of the time is definitely the inner environment most worthy of our \”investment\”. (2) Learn to focus on one thing in fragments. Even if it’s only 5 minutes, 5 minutes of focus is better than 50 minutes of distraction. (3) Try to do simple things right the first time and do it right the first time. For example, if you listen carefully to a lecture the first time, you will save time and effort later. If you listen to it casually for the first time, I guarantee you won’t have time to listen to it again later. The same goes for books, read them carefully the first time, because I guarantee that it will be difficult for you to read them a second time… (4) For complex things, make a plan, break it down into N simple things, arrange them in order, and execute them one after another. . For example, if I want to finish reading a book, I will first make a plan to read or read a small section every day, using the time when I go to the bathroom, or 10 minutes in the morning. When reading, be sure to hold a pen in your hand and underline the key points while reading. Make sure I understand the content of these pages. I won’t read any more. Unless you occasionally encounter a large gap of time. (4) When you really can’t concentrate, you can practice meditation. Meditation is definitely my number one “artifact”. I recovered from such a serious illness with the help of this method. It’s really powerful! By the way, I would like to introduce a meditation method that I commonly use. It is simple and easy to operate: find a comfortable position to sit or lie flat on your back, close your eyes, and relax your whole body. Take a deep breath, continue to relax, and imagine your attention as a slow sound. Let this sound start from the top of your head and scan down around your body in circles. As you notice each organ, ask about it and let it relax, thanFor example: \”Please relax your eyelids\”, \”Please relax your nose\”, \”Please relax your cheeks\”… all the way to your toes. After confirming that your whole body is relaxed, focus on your breathing. Pay attention to your every breath. Let your breathing become slow and long. When some thoughts come to your mind, just look at them. Don\’t catch them deliberately and watch them float in and out. This is the most basic version of meditation. You can practice it when you are tired or before going to bed. It is good for training concentration and relaxing the body. Finally, Aristotle said: \”What we do day after day determines who we are. Therefore, excellence does not refer to behavior, but to habits.\” High-quality concentration is definitely A habit, or ability, that must be acquired early. Because the premise of all efforts is that you need to use the right posture to execute. Wish you have it soon!