I hope our children will never fall into these two traps…

One time, I was staying up late writing a manuscript. WeChat received a message: \”Do you think there is really a difference between studying early and studying later? They say studying early harms children, is that true?\” In fact, I have seen many versions of this question. \”Do you want to do parent-child reading for your children? Aren\’t you afraid of spoiling the children\’s eyes?\” \”Reading at such a young age will not damage the brain, right?\” \”Didn\’t I say that we should have fun? We should play happily and read any books.\” I also have Many classmates and friends have said the same thing. My mother once saw me reading stories to her son, and she also questioned it from the perspective of caring about her grandson. In fact, this is just a manifestation of the misinterpretation of \”happy education\” in recent years. Many people take it out of context and think that this is what children should do, so-called happy education. And what does this happiness look like? Everyone has their own opinion, and free-range education and even refusal of education are the mainstream. Because many parents have gone through a mountain of books and a sea of ​​questions. Some people go through those years with a sense of fear. So when I think of this fear, I feel nervous and don\’t want my children to be exposed to any books, even a simple picture book. There are also a large number of people who have been brainwashed by \”happy education\”. It is said that it is out of love for children, so we must give children happiness and freedom. Little did he know, he had fallen into a trap. There is another bigger trap: the theory of \”uselessness of reading\”, which is like twin brothers to happy education. Because parents who hold the view that \”reading is useless\” often hypnotize themselves psychologically. I give my children happiness and freedom. But what’s the real situation? The child\’s own talents are buried, and the child\’s ideals are dark and lackluster. Let\’s look at those little children, their eyes are full of energy. Full of wonderful imaginations about the future. Everyone comes to this world with dreams. It’s just that many people were forced to discard it. \”The theory that reading is useless\” is often the culprit. In our current society, there is a huge market for the theory that reading is useless. Especially it leaves an indelible mark on the ordinary classes. Because I was born in a rural area, I feel sad about this self-imposed situation, but there is nothing I can do about it. I have a relative who has two children at home. My son is already in his 30s this year, but he still hangs out every day. I didn’t want to do the painter’s job, but there was no other craft I could do. He was also a smart young man back then. If you take the high school entrance examination, you can get into a good local school with enough score. If you work harder, you should have no problem getting into college. But his father said he shouldn’t go to school unless he got into the best high school. Because if you go to a second-rate high school or get into a second-rate university, it will be useless after you graduate. In his eyes, the only way out is to work early. Because the child of a certain family became a contractor within five years and became rich. The son of a certain family built a house, married a wife and had children after working for a few years, and his life was satisfactory. There is also a son of a certain family who did not study, but still does business in Beijing and is very successful. Ordinary people like me have neither good relatives to cling to nor a rich and powerful father. Don\’t fight, just accept your fate. So he took his son to learn to be a painter. It is also a good way to make a living in itself. But at that time, his father cut off the son\’s passion for learning. I\’m tired of learning anything newWest. He became grumpy and locked himself in the room when he saw guests. I don\’t want to deal with people, so even when I\’m awake, I spend half of my time in the Internet cafe and half of my time playing in bed. Now my relative\’s daughter is taking the high school entrance examination again. I passed by their house last time and asked about it. He still said the same thing: \”If you pass the exam, you can go to the No. 1 middle school. If you don\’t, you can go to a three-year technical school.\” But the mother of the child told me that in fact, he didn\’t expect her to go to school at all, it was just a talk. Fortunately, my daughter works hard and there is still hope. After hearing this, I could only sigh. Because a person\’s concept cannot be changed overnight. All he could see were those people and things, that small circle. \”Resignation\” and \”powerlessness\” made him stick to his persistence. I have been stuck in the trap of saying that reading is useless. Not only do I dare not jump out to see it for the rest of my life. Even if the child wants to jump out, he has to hold him back. What dream are you talking about? I just want to tell you about the bread in front of you. But as a result, bread is often not obtained. Now he is thinking about asking for a marriage for his eldest son, and his head is almost turning gray. A few days ago, a mother left a message saying that she bought a lot of picture books for her children. Then I also bought a lot of books and started reading. But my husband was not happy and said not to be stupid by reading. The reason is that \”it is better to have no books than to believe in all the books.\” Because their company has recruited a new batch of assistants. They are all undergraduates, but after one round of assessment, many of them are not even good at summarizing. At first glance, it seems that reading is stupid. Without practice, reading is in vain. There are many people who deny and question college students, which has become an important weapon in the \”theory that reading is useless\”. College students who fail in the workplace become a joke. And those who made it out without studying were praised as heroes. This is indeed the case for ignorant students who have just left school. Shy and awkward. But who hasn’t grown up from this ups and downs? Don’t bully young people into poverty. After a few years, those who really work hard will shine. As a parent, you need to read more. When you really read it, you will find that you don\’t understand a lot of things, or you only understand half of them. For example, when I read books on child psychology, I get very excited every time. Because there are often shadows of my son in those cases. I will think based on reality and benefit a lot. The most important thing in raising children is to cultivate their habits. The cultivation of study habits often originates from the initial contact. Reading this matter, it is better to contact early than late. Let’s not talk about whether Jews really lick books with honey on their babies. But we want to believe it. We in China also have an ancient tradition called \”Zhou Zhou\”, which is called a test to test corruption, honesty, wisdom and stupidity. This is actually the best expectation of parents for their children. If you expect your child to be interested in learning. Then let your children come into contact with books as early as possible and feel the joy of learning. Let them feel that they can get something interesting by listening, reading, and touching. Mud and sand are good playmates. Why not a book? If you use reading to punish and torture children, of course you will harm them. But what’s the harm in reading happily? I have been keeping my child reading since he was a few months old. What I saw was that the children were happier after having books as their good companions. The book story has also been enhancedThe child’s interest in learning. And maintaining a strong motivation for learning is what I am most happy to see. Because there are still many things in this world waiting for him to learn, explore, and discover. There is no parent who does not want their children to be happy. It\’s just that at the age when children should learn, in the name of happiness, they do the so-called free-range care waiting for the flowers to bloom. The child may not be happy in the future. When children are 0-3 years old, habits are not developed, and children have many problems entering kindergarten. There are many people who did not improve their abilities through training in kindergarten and suffered terribly in elementary school. When I was a boy, I should have studied hard, but I had fun and indulged myself, which made me regret a lot as an adult. \”Young people who don\’t work hard will end up miserable\” is a true saying. Why study hard? Because this is the only way out for families at the bottom of society. Although you will find that many people seize the opportunity and find shortcuts to success if they work hard. But reading will give a person more opportunities. Over the past many years, our economic development has surpassed any other era. Therefore, there are many opportunities in society, and there are many people who are successful without studying. But what about the future? In the era of knowledge and information, if you are uneducated, you will not know if you have been \”slapped\” in the face. Last time, a friend said that a popular urban village had fewer and fewer tenants. Because a nearby factory has already used all robots. If children do not study hard, they may not even have the chance to be exploited in the future. Looking at it, human society is a pyramid structure. Those at the top tend to place greater emphasis on the education of their offspring. There is a saying that the \”rich second generation\” is not scary. What is scary is that the \”rich second generation\” is harder than you think. The elite class is working hard to complete the replication of elites and consolidate their social status through learning. Their children have one common characteristic: they love to read and read well. As a parent, it is very easy to fall into the trap of \”happy education\” just because you love your children. Of course our education must be happy, but we cannot deliberately give up hard work for the sake of happiness. And more people are criticizing \”study is useless\” while dreaming of \”making money without studying\”. It\’s a pity that there is no chance to come back in life. When you grow old in your own well, you also delay the good time of your children. The child will not let you carry it again, and what you miss will be missed forever. Please put away your eagerness for quick success. Read more books, and hope our children will have the opportunity to read more books. Study harder, come on