It is not enough to educate children only with love. Simple and crude methods are indeed more effective.

The child was brought home from kindergarten on the first day. He said he had been dizzy since the morning and had a runny nose sometimes. It turned out to be a cold, so he was not sent to kindergarten the next day. When I get up in the morning, I lie down on the ground and play. We were afraid that he would catch a cold on the floor, the heating was off, and he still had a cold, so we asked him to get on the mat. Grandma called him several times, but he ignored her. I got angry, used my trump card, and started counting \”one——\”. He changed from lying down to kneeling. I endured and counted \”two——\”. He straightened his upper body, but he would not stand up. I counted \”three——\”, and he kneeled and climbed onto the mat step by step. He was still grunting angrily, as if he didn\’t take it seriously and was deliberately irritating you. It really pissed me off. I immediately yelled: \”Come here and stand here for 10 minutes!\” Then I set the time with a timer and told him to come to me when the time is up. (Don\’t ask me why I asked him to stand for 10 minutes. He will be obedient. This is Trained over the past few years) He immediately stopped being as arrogant as before and stood still obediently. In fact, I felt distressed at this time, but I still had to hold on, why? Because if you are soft-hearted, the effect will be gone. The child will receive a few criticisms in vain, but he will not remember them for a long time. One of my colleagues is known for his fiery temper. He often says: \”Simple and crude is the most effective!\” Needless to say, I really agree with this point of view. As a teacher, of course I strictly abide by the Teacher Law and Teacher Professional Ethics, and will never punish students corporally. When I was young, I would get anxious and yell a few words loudly because of students’ lack of effort. Now I really don’t even dare to worry, for fear of emotions. The changes in education scare students and hurt themselves. However, I did find this phenomenon: when the class bell rang, you stood at the door of the classroom, but the classroom was still in full swing. The students were running and laughing, and it was as lively as going to a market. I don’t know if the students saw it or not. A teacher with a good temper will remind me gently, but it is of little use. A teacher with a bad temper will yell and the classroom will instantly become quiet. During homework time, you sit in front of the desk and judge the homework, and there are students doing everything below. You don\’t go around or call their names. Some students don\’t write anything during the entire class. We were lining up to do exercises, talking and chatting, and the line was twisted. We had to stop to form a line, or even go back to the classroom to line up again, otherwise no students would care. …Is it okay to just rely on the students’ self-consciousness and the teacher’s gentle reminders? It\’s the same at home. As a parent, no one does not love their children. We provide the best food, drink, housing and housing to the best of our ability. We also invest huge amounts in education, such as tutoring classes, summer camps, extracurricular books, toys and school tools… If you hold them in your mouth, you will be afraid of melting, and if you hold them in your hands, you will be afraid of falling. I couldn\’t bear to move a finger or say a word. But what about the children? Because of such pampering, he gradually became lawless. You call him to eat but he ignores you. You call him to wash up but he doesn\’t respond. He just does his own thing as if no one is watching. If you criticize him when he does something wrong, he will speak plausibly and not be afraid at all. If you fail to serve him well or meet his demands, he will slap you in the face and accuse you in turn. If you speak too harshly one day, the old man will criticize you the next day. It turns out that he filed the complaint. …Just rely on tolerance, just rely on love,OK? The famous educator Xia Gaizun said: \”Education is the art of love. Without love, it cannot be education. Education without love is like a pond without water. A pond without water is a pit, a trap for people.\” Therefore, for education, The first request of a person is always love. Love is true, but through layers of interpretation, it has been interpreted as: appreciation education – affirming and praising children instead of criticizing children; it has been alienated into: children should be infinitely tolerant and loved. Therefore, punishment is of course wrong, and criticism gradually becomes unacceptable. In such an educational situation, what can children become? Often in school, the teacher who is the most gentle and \”loves\” the students the most leads a class with disorderly order and poor class style. Often at home, the person who loves, spoils, and tolerates children the most is the person who is most childish, and children do whatever they want to him. It\’s really \”picking up the weak persimmons\”! In school, of course, little teachers dare not do anything for fear of accidentally touching a red line. But at home, we have a lot going for us. Because every family is a small school, parents are educators, and children are students and educated people. In this special school, the relationship between the educator and the educated is quite special. They are both parent and child, and teacher and student. Because of the blood relationship between parent and child, there is a natural protective barrier. At home, I adhere to a bottom line: anything that does not violate the principles can be tolerated, and there should be as little criticism as possible and no criticism of the children, but anything that violates the principles will never be tolerated. I can naturally tell which things are against the principles when I encounter them. I will criticize my child severely and show no mercy. At the same time, I will also tell him why I criticized him and the mistakes and harms he has made. I clearly told my child that I have the final say in his education! There is no point in complaining to my grandparents. I let him understand that I educated him precisely because I loved him. I also promised him that I would not love him, love him, or reject him just because he made a mistake. When the time comes for the child to stand for punishment, come quickly and \”please\” me: \”Mom, what are you packing? Let me help you!\” \”No, you can play for a while!\” \”I will help you first, and then play.\” Okay, you can\’t do this, please help me sharpen my pencil!\” So, the mother and son made peace while packing their things together. I took the opportunity to say, \”Do you know why Mom made you stand for punishment?\” \”Yes, because I was crawling on the ground and you were afraid that I would catch a cold.\” \”Yes, you can\’t do this in the future. You must take care of yourself.\” \”Yes, I know. La!\” He laughed.