Over the years, have you ever forced your children to admit their mistakes?

Many times, when children make mistakes, they refuse to admit it no matter what method you use. Even if it is \”irrefutable evidence\”, pointing to the messy room. You ask your child: \”Who did this?\” You can hear answers like: \”Dad did it!\” \”Dinosaurs did it!\” Or maybe even \”Aliens did it!\” Or \”That\’s how it is. I don\’t know how it became like this!\” It\’s rare to hear a child say readily, \”I did it!\” A few nights ago, I was playing horseback riding with my son at home. Of course he is the rider and I will be the horse. As a result, the sheets were wrinkled by us. Then we withdrew without finishing it. When the wife found out, she found her son. \”Did you make this sheet?\” \”No.\” \”Who did it?\” \”Dad did it. I was just riding a horse. Dad made it when he was a horse.\” I was listening at the time. Of course my wife knew that her son had done it too. It was originally a small matter, but she felt that the child would not admit his mistakes, so she had to explain it carefully. Then the two fought there for several rounds. The son firmly said that he did not do it himself. My mother was at a loss and suggested that I take the lead in admitting my mistake. I said, \”Actually, you are a rider, so of course you have to bear the responsibility together with the horse. You see, I have admitted that I did it. It\’s okay, just admit it.\” But my son still didn\’t listen. He kept making excuses to explain to his mother that it was not him. For more than 10 minutes, the two were still in a stalemate. Finally, I became the mediator and said, \”You two, stop talking. Let\’s talk tomorrow and do other things.\” This diverted the attention of the two of them. It\’s really confusing sometimes. Why are children unwilling to admit their mistakes? In fact, children\’s behavior is sometimes exaggerated by their parents. For example, if a child does something wrong and is unwilling to admit it, parents will worry about whether there is something wrong with the child\’s behavior. You must force your children to admit their mistakes. I remember one time when I took my children to play in the playground. Two children got into a fight over a seesaw. It turned out that a fat boy and a girl were playing on a seesaw. Another girl came because she had been playing in the sand with the girl playing on the seesaw. So when she came over and found the boy sitting on the seesaw, she rushed over. She pulled the boy hard, but the boy wouldn\’t let her go and pushed her. At this time the little girl cried loudly. The two mothers were chatting happily outside. At this time, they ran over together. He didn\’t ask anything, he just asked the boy who didn\’t cry to apologize. The boy frowned, with a look of reluctance. The boy\’s mother even more anxiously demanded that he apologize immediately, and threatened to leave immediately if he did not apologize. At this time, the child could only lower his head and whisper: \”I\’m sorry.\” As soon as the words \”I\’m sorry\” are said, mothers immediately smile. As if nothing happened, \”Okay, it\’s okay, you dare to admit your mistakes, that\’s good.\” \”Don\’t cry, my little brother has already apologized.\” At this time, the little girl took advantage of the situation and grabbed the position of the seesaw. The little boy went to play on the slide gloomily. Fortunately, it didn\’t take long for the child to become happy again and forget about the incident. next toAs I watched, I knew that it was actually this boy who was wronged. The little girl had no sense of the \”first come, first served\” rule and started to pull the boy first. But the mother didn\’t see this and immediately concluded that the boy bullied the girl. Let me ask, if you force a child to apologize, does the problem really get solved? In fact, parents’ problems are bigger than their children’s. Ignore the child\’s feelings for a long time, and force the child to admit his mistakes without clarifying what happened. It can cause psychological problems in children. Sometimes, instead of rushing to force children to admit their mistakes, it is better to first explore the reasons why the children are unwilling to admit their mistakes. A mother told her own experience: her child was in the third grade of elementary school. A few days ago, she and her child were called to the office and scolded by the teacher. He said that if the child bullies classmates in the class in the future, he will be expelled directly and he will also be punished. He went to apologize to the classmates he bullied. The child stubbornly said he would not apologize. Why? She was so anxious that she slapped the child in front of the teacher. I felt very regretful afterwards, and it was strange to think about it. Because my son has always been sensible and honest, why would he bully his classmates? That night I went to ask the child what was the reason? Unexpectedly, my son said, \”You don\’t believe me, and no one believes what I said.\” A few days later, I met my son\’s classmate on the same floor. She asked the child if her son often bullied his classmates at school. Unexpectedly, the child said, \”Actually, it\’s not that he bullies others, but that he is often bullied by those people. It\’s just that those people would complain, so the teacher came to him.\” At this time, her heart twitched, and she really misunderstood son. After a sincere conversation with my son, I finally found out the reason. The child who complained to the teacher was just one of a group of child kings. This group of children often get together to bully their classmates. Once I asked my son to give them some pocket money. When the son refused to listen, they threatened to beat him. As a result, the teacher got into trouble. Too many things like this happen to children. But parents sometimes arbitrarily believe that it is the child\’s fault. As a parent, you cannot ignore it. If a child is wronged, his parents not only fail to stand by his side. Instead, it rubs salt into the child\’s hurt heart. Will the child still feel safe? Parents must also actively understand the psychological reasons why their children refuse to admit their mistakes. Developmental psychologist Thomas Lickona said in the book: Being able to understand the rules and the consequences of breaking the rules is a growth and development \”homework\” that children are undergoing and completing at this stage. However, this kind of \”not admitting\”, \”justifying\” and \”shirking\” is also a good sign from a certain perspective: it shows that the child already knows that what he has done is not an \”honest\” thing, and he has even made a mistake. . Therefore, parents should be more patient when it comes to \”admitting mistakes\”. Children need the attention, understanding and guidance of their parents before they can establish a moral consciousness and make their behavior more sincere and kind. \”From the perspective of children\’s personality formation, \”Children have a \”good boy\” self-pursuit in their hearts. \”So sometimes, when you make a mistake, you refuse to admit it. This situation often happens to three or four-year-old children. They often ignore the facts and think that theyThe subjective consciousness is correct. For example, a child sometimes puts on his shoes backwards. If you say he wears it inside out, they often insist that it\’s not inside out, that\’s it. For older children, there will be strong self-esteem. And a stubborn mentality will make them say \”I didn\’t do anything wrong at all!\” So when a child really makes a mistake, don\’t rush to blame the child, but calmly and sincerely give the child some time to think about it. When you and your child have calmed down, guide your child to think with empathy. Is his behavior inappropriate and has it caused harm to others? Only when a child truly realizes his mistake and sincerely says \”I\’m sorry\” can he learn to take responsibility instead of escaping. Never force a child to apologize, because it is not easy for an adult to say this. But one day, the child realizes that after a sincere apology, he can get more love from friends and make himself feel more relaxed and happy. He will sincerely admit it and work hard to correct it. And this journey takes time, and it also requires the love of parents. Because parents\’ love will make children\’s hearts stronger.