Should we punish children when educating them?

Go to the corner, stand there, and reflect. Bring me my slippers, I have to teach this naughty boy a lesson. If your performance is so poor, I won’t buy you any toys. Anyone who has raised children has probably said this before. When children make mistakes or perform poorly, we must teach them a lesson, otherwise they will not remember it. As the saying goes: \”If you don\’t fight for three days, you will go to the house and uncover the tiles.\” You can\’t reason with your children, you can only punish them. Although domestic and foreign education experts say that children should not be punished, they also provide many other education methods. But in practice, we always feel that it is not very practical, and punishment is the most effective. The logic behind punishment is: when a child makes a mistake, the parent punishes the child; the punishment will cause the child pain, which the child does not want; in order not to be punished next time, the child learns not to do it again. According to this logic, the punishment must be severe, because small punishments cannot cause the child pain, and he will not remember or care. Our experience is also the same. Small punishments are not very effective. Beating and scolding, copying homework, depriving the right to play… these punishments are the most convenient to use, and the children will obey immediately. However, while these punishments are effective, they are also toxic and have particularly serious side effects. 1. Children who are often punished will lose their spirit of adventure and enterprising spirit, because they are afraid of being beaten if they make mistakes, so they might as well not do it; 2. They are also better at lying, because they will inevitably make mistakes and are afraid of being punished, so they lie. Cover up their mistakes; 3. What\’s more serious is that they often have low self-esteem because their parents\’ beatings and punishments make them feel that they are not loved by their parents. From the effect point of view, it seems that educating children should punish them, but from the side effects point of view, it cannot be punished. It is best to retain the effect of punishment but eliminate the side effects. Side effects occur because punishment brings great pain to the child. How to reduce pain but still let punishment have the effect of reducing children\’s wrong behavior? First, punishment is not random and fixed, but must be related to the mistakes the child makes. This allows them to know the reasons for punishment, know the consequences of making mistakes and learn to bear them, and also cultivates their sense of responsibility. Traditional punishment only makes children fear and suffer, so that they dare not make the same mistake again; while punishment associated with mistakes can make the child have the courage to take responsibility, know the consequences, and not make the same mistake again. For example, if a child unreasonably contradicts an elder, they can be punished by giving the elder a massage; if a child litters, they can be punished with cleaning for a week… Second, the punishment must be moderate. Punishments that are simple, crude, and simply cause pain, such as beating, scolding, and humiliation, are absolutely unacceptable. use. This can cause fear and painful trauma to the child. Third, if you make a new mistake for the first time, you will not be punished. But set the rules for punishment if you do it again, explain the reasons for doing so, and then strictly enforce it. For example, there is no punishment for children who tear up a book for the first time, but tell them that if you tear up your own books again in the future, you will have to spend time to glue the books back up. The reason is that books are for reading, not for tearing and playing. , after tearing it up, mom can no longer tell you stories. Fourth, stay emotionally calm and let your children know that although your parents have punished you, don’t be afraid, we still love you. For example, 1) Clarify with the child before punishment: \”What you did just now was very bad and you need to bear the consequences.\”fruit. Mom loves you very much, but she can’t be partial, so you still have to take responsibility for yourself.”; 2) Let the child think about the past and stay with him instead of leaving him alone… Should children be punished when educating them? There is no absolute right The answer is because every child is different, but better and more reasonable methods of punishment exist. The most important thing is to find the method that suits your baby, and then improve his behavior by letting him bear the consequences of his mistakes. Self-control and responsibility.