You need to learn how to say \”no\” to your children

When it comes to children\’s education, many parents will encounter a big problem and often fall into a misunderstanding. That’s the difficulty of saying “no” to your children. The child wants a toy, but that toy is obviously not suitable for him; the child does not want to go to kindergarten, but it is obviously not Sunday. To an adult, a child\’s desires may seem trivial. The most important thing is that adults are always reluctant to reject children. As soon as he was rejected, he began cooking up a gut-wrenching performance. The corners of his mouth drooped, and tears of grievance wet his entire face. Whenever this happens, adults can\’t resist the little cutie in front of them. The way he cried was so distressing that people couldn\’t bear to refuse. Whenever he is unhappy, adults\’ hearts will ache. How to do it? Many parents choose to compromise at this time. With a little compromise, everyone is happy. Why not? However, many parents do not understand that children raised in this way often become more and more rogue. The children of Lili\’s family were spoiled by their parents and became more and more rogue. When she was younger, Lili let her children \”get their way\” every time just because she couldn\’t bear to refuse. Every time a proud smile appeared on the child\’s face, Lili felt relieved. Finally, the child was not let down, the child finally got what he wanted, and the little baby was finally happy. However, as her children grew up, Lili found that she was becoming more and more passive in educating her children. When going to the mall, when the little guy sees something he likes, he puts it in the shopping cart. Many things are not children\’s products, such as long swords for adults to practice in the morning. However, as soon as the little guy is curious, he wants to buy it and take it home. If Lili didn\’t buy it, the child would start acting like a fool in the mall and wouldn\’t leave. Whenever he cries loudly, it always attracts the attention of many people, especially parents. This often makes Lili feel embarrassed. Once, a parent saw her child crying so sadly and educated Lili earnestly: \”If the child likes it, just buy it for him. It\’s not very expensive. The child must be rich. The child\’s childhood is actually shorter than we think.\” .\” These words made Lili even more embarrassed and wanted to find a crack in the ground to crawl into. The child quietly stopped crying and secretly glanced at Lili. There was a bit of pride in her eyes, as if she was saying: \”Mom, look, other parents have said this.\” In the end, forced by other people\’s eyes, Lili bought the little guy what he wanted. Lili becomes more and more confused, and the children she educates increasingly deviate from her expectations. She personally raised a \”little scoundrel\”. He doesn\’t listen to reason and only follows his heart\’s desires. Curiosity and wanting are the nature of children. If adults don\’t know how to say no, they will raise a \”giant baby\”. It is often said that the original family has a huge impact on children. This includes what kind of world order the native family helps the children establish. Satisfying a child without any principles and letting him get what he wants by cheating is helping him establish a wrong outlook on life and world order. Therefore, parents must learn to say no to their children. Of course, how to say \”no\” to a child\’s childish little face also requires courage and skill. However, as long as parents take this step bravely, they will realize how important it is to their children\’s growth. The child of my colleague Lao Wu’s family, left a deep impression on me. That was a five-year-old boy, the right age to be naughty. However, he is naughty. When he wants something or needs help from his parents, he actually uses the tone of asking for advice like an adult. There are almost no traces of the cheating \”tricks\” used by children in him. Lao Wu said that his educational philosophy is to know how to say no to children. When the child was less than three years old, Lao Wu had a strong heart and said no to him. At that time, children needed to be fed and coaxed by adults every time they ate. When he encounters food that he doesn\’t like, he becomes even more naughty, noisily skipping meals and asking for snacks. The elders at home love the child dearly, especially the child\’s grandmother, who always chases after him with a bowl to feed him. The meal front always stretched to nearly two hours. If the meal is not to the child\’s liking, the old man will always arrange the child\’s favorite snacks in a long queue for him to choose. Lao Wu is a \”tiger dad\” who stops him every time, but in the end his plans are disrupted by the old man. He couldn\’t be hard-hearted towards the old man. So, Lao Wu signed up a tour group for his parents and asked the two old people to travel. Taking advantage of that time, Lao Wu \”fixed\” the child properly. When a child doesn\’t eat by himself or likes to eat, Lao Wu tells him seriously: \”You have to eat by yourself. Do you think mom and dad need others to feed them? In addition, you have to respect the fruits of mom\’s labor. Mom made it The rice is all properly matched. If you don\’t like to eat, it\’s your own fault. It\’s a very bad habit for you to be picky about food.\” The child didn\’t listen and was very resistant and kept shouting \”I want grandma\”. Lao Wu stopped his lover from wanting to feed the child. He told the child seriously: \”If you don\’t eat, you will only starve!\” Lao Wu kept his word. If a child does not feed himself, he will starve. No one feeds them, no snacks to fill their bellies. After two hungry meals, when it was time to eat, the child took the initiative to sit at the table and picked up the spoon himself. Lao Wu took the opportunity to teach him how to use chopsticks and spoons. Lao Wu will correct the things he doesn\’t do well in time, but he will never feed him. Slowly, the child learns to feed himself. Later, his picky eating habits gradually improved. No longer visible, he picked out the things he didn\’t want to eat and threw them all over the table. The elderly at home have also become accustomed to not pampering their children. Saying no to your child\’s bad habits and behaviors is a unanimous move for the entire family. If a family member violates this \”contract\”, it will give the child a wrong understanding. He will feel that the person who rejects him does not love him. This will give children a distorted outlook on life. Lao Wu said \”no\” to his children. In addition to his firm stance and resolute attitude, he was also very skillful. One time, the child was playing games and didn\’t want to go to bed until very late. Lao Wu confiscated his game console. He was very reluctant and started crying. In the end, he simply lay down on the ground, kicking everything he could reach with his legs. Lao Wu told him seriously: \”You are a boy, you have to be self-disciplined in doing things, and you can\’t do whatever you want. Besides, it\’s really not good-looking when you cheat. If you want to cheat, you must at least be like your father. This is the most elegant way to cheat. Posture.\” After saying that, Lao Wu started doing push-ups not far from the child. The child suddenly opened his eyes with curiosityeyes. Lao Wu encouraged him and said, \”Come and try, be like dad.\” The child tried it a few times, as if playing, and finally gave up and stopped crying. Sometimes, when encountering a similar situation, Lao Wu would pick up the mirror and tell him: \”Do you think it looks good when you cry and act like this? Next time, please use a different way to convince others, okay?\” Although Lao Wu\’s methods are a bit tough, I have to say that Lao Wu\’s children have grown up very healthily. Although he is young, he has begun to realize that many times his demands are unreasonable, and he has gradually understood that there is no reason why others must meet his demands. Therefore, if you want to destroy a child, parents can always obey and not follow principles. This approach often only solves the child\’s emotional problems, but does not really solve the problem. If you want a child to succeed, parents should learn to say \”no\” to their children. Say \”no\” in an elegant manner, with sufficient reasons and a firm attitude. At the beginning, the child may not understand those big principles, and he may only know that he has been rejected. However, as he grows up, those principles will subtly influence him, allowing him to grow into a self-disciplined and hard-working adult.