Children who don’t want to go to kindergarten have only these three types of reasons. The second type most tests the parents’ observation skills.

The thing parents are most afraid of hearing is their children saying: I don’t want to go to kindergarten. It’s okay to say it once in a while. If we say it every day after getting up and after school, we will be very annoyed and anxious. On the one hand, I feel that I can\’t go along with my child. If he says he doesn\’t want to go, we won\’t send him away. On the one hand, I worry that if my child is so resistant to kindergarten, something bad will happen to him, right? Some children have better language expression skills and can clearly describe the reasons why they do not want to go to kindergarten, while other children cannot say anything. Is the child\’s \”not wanting to go to kindergarten\” a pure complaint? Or encountered something unhappy? Or were you bullied? Or was he punished by the teacher? How do we identify the many possibilities? 01 Three major reasons why children don’t want to go to kindergarten 1. The most common reason: separation anxiety. Every child who newly enters kindergarten will have separation anxiety, but the intensity and duration are different. Children with more severe separation anxiety will spend longer yelling that they don’t want to go to kindergarten. Children with less severe separation anxiety will shout from time to time: I don’t want to go to kindergarten. As long as we understand that this is a normal expression of children\’s negative emotions, there is no need to be very anxious. 2. Reasons for being easily underestimated: Children encounter difficulties that cannot be solved. Kindergarten is a collective life, which is completely different from life at home. At home, one or two family members are involved in all major and minor matters of the child, and everyone\’s focus is on the child. Kindergarten is not like this. It is impossible for teachers to only pay attention to children all the time. Children need to complete things such as eating, going to the toilet, dressing and taking off clothes independently. Children who have not developed basic self-care abilities will encounter many difficulties, such as: ◆ They don’t like the food in the kindergarten, they don’t know how to eat with a spoon, and they still have more than half a bowl of rice after other children have finished eating. Some teachers will feed children several times, but they will not feed them every time. When meal time is up, the meals may be taken away. ◆Can’t put on and take off clothes, can’t put on shoes, the more anxious the child is, the more he can’t put them on ◆Don’t dare tell the teacher to use the toilet, and then pees his pants ◆Be criticized by the teacher, afraid of the teacher ◆Don’t want to take a nap, but can’t get up to play either, Unable to make a sound and can only lie in bed obediently ◆Conflicts with other students that the child does not know how to resolve include: children verbally/physically attacking other children, children being verbally/physically attacked by other children, children grabbing toys among themselves, Children are unwilling to participate in group activities, children cannot make good friends, etc. ◆Children who do not perform well in specific activities such as handicrafts, painting, and shooting balls, do not get first place, and do not receive rewards from teachers Stickers ◆ Other bad things happened. The above are all practical difficulties that children will encounter when they enter kindergarten. Each difficulty is not something that children can easily overcome. We have to be detectives, looking for suspicious clues in the children\’s clues, and spelling out the whole story. It really tests our observation and reasoning abilities. 3. Very hidden reasons: parents often quarrel, and the parent-child relationship is tense. The family atmosphere will also affect the child\’s admission status, such as: ◆ Parents often quarrel, the family is full of gunpowder, and the child is full of worries, so he does not want to go to kindergarten ◆ Parent-child relationshipThe relationship is tense, and parents often threaten and intimidate their children with words such as \”I don\’t love you anymore, I don\’t want you anymore\” and \”If you don\’t obey again, I will send you to kindergarten and let the teacher deal with you.\” The child\’s sense of security is destroyed, and he is afraid that after going to kindergarten, his parents will really stop caring about him. For children, kindergarten is a strange place. Only with a safe and warm family can they have the courage to integrate into a strange environment. 02 How to quickly and accurately identify the reasons why children do not want to go to kindergarten. There are so many reasons listed, not to scare everyone, but to illustrate that sometimes it is not a simple matter for children not to want to go to kindergarten. How can we find out the cause? I have summarized 5 clues: 1. Look at the child’s kindergarten entry stage ◆ If the child is three or four years old, that is, the reason why he does not want to go to kindergarten in the first semester of small class is most likely because of separation anxiety. ◆If the child is already in the second semester of small class, or the reason why the child does not want to go to kindergarten should be investigated from the aspect of \”whether he has encountered specific difficulties\”, because it has been a long time since he entered kindergarten, and the separation anxiety has basically been successfully overcome. Passed. 2. Look at the time when the child shows the behavior of not wanting to go to kindergarten. If the child entered the kindergarten smoothly before, without crying or making trouble, then suddenly one day he \”does not want to go to kindergarten\” and often says so, or has strong resistance. , crying. There is a high probability that something unpleasant happened to the child in kindergarten and he encountered difficulties that he could not solve. 3. Check the child’s status before and after entering the kindergarten ◆ If the child complained that he did not want to go to the kindergarten or was crying before entering the kindergarten, but after entering the kindergarten, he immediately stopped crying and entered the kindergarten state. He was eating and drinking when he should be playing, and he was having a lot of fun. There was no trace of not wanting to go to kindergarten. This situation was caused by separation anxiety. ◆If the child is resistant before and after entering the kindergarten, refuses to participate in kindergarten activities, cries and says he misses his mother, and clings to the kindergarten teacher, then return to the first and second points to judge. 4. Maintain communication with teachers. Because children have limited language expression skills or do not want their parents to know what happened to them in kindergarten, many children are unwilling to tell their parents why they do not want to go to kindergarten. In this case, we need to actively communicate with the teacher to understand the child\’s status in the kindergarten. 5. Play simulation games with children and capture clues. Children have a strong \”imitation ability\” at this stage. They will imitate teachers and children, and then use these behaviors and languages ​​in games. A lot of information can be captured by observing children\’s simulated play. My son doesn’t like to take naps. I wanted to know how teachers deal with children who don’t take naps, so I played a role-playing game about naps in kindergarten with my son. I am a child and my son is a teacher. I saw my son closing the curtains in the room, taking a pillow and sitting at the table (imitating the teacher\’s use of a laptop to work), and looking back at me from time to time. Then I said: Teacher, I can’t sleep. My son came over, lowered his voice and said, \”Close your eyes and don\’t open them.\” Then he patted me a few times and left. After a while, my son started singing (imitating the kindergarten wake-up music), opened the curtains and asked me to get up. In this game, I learned about the nap process in kindergarten, and how teachers eat and work when children take naps. They are also very patient with children who don’t take naps, and I felt relieved. Is your child also shouting \”doesn\’t want to go to kindergarten\”? If so, you can leave a message in the comment area to discuss, and we will find out the reason together.