Is it low to show off to your children that you have come from the past?

A few days ago, I went to my sister\’s house to play. My 15-year-old nephew was standing in the corner thinking about his past. When he saw me coming, my sister seemed to have suddenly found someone to talk to. I asked her what mistake her nephew had made? My sister said angrily: \”I\’m really angry. I didn\’t study hard in school and actually fell in love.\” After my sister finished speaking, I was also very surprised. I thought that today\’s children are really precocious and should be disciplined strictly, otherwise something might happen in the future. I asked my sister how she knew, and she said, \”This guy said it himself. I think he\’s not in the right state these days.\” After dinner, I talked about this matter with my nephew. I smiled and said, \”It\’s normal to be curious about the opposite sex in adolescence, but now you have to put your studies first.\” My nephew glanced at me and asked, \”I\’m really not in love.\” My nephew\’s answer left me a little confused. Later, I found out that my nephew was not in a relationship at all. It was my sister who misunderstood him. But at the time, I didn\’t understand. Why should I admit it since I wasn\’t in a relationship? After chatting with my sister, I found the answer to the question. It turned out that my sister recently heard that her nephew was in love, and he kept asking after he came home. When my nephew said no, my sister looked unbelieving and told her nephew that she was in love. Come on, his little cleverness is useless. Later, my nephew couldn\’t bear it anymore and had to admit it against his will. My nephew told me that if he didn\’t admit it, my sister would ask endless questions, so it would be better to admit it and get clean. I suddenly couldn\’t find any reason to refute his statement. As parents, we are sometimes really smart, but it is precisely this smartness that harms us. We never investigate and verify many problems in our children. We always take it for granted that our judgment is brilliant, but in the end we find that we were wronged. child. It is actually wrong to flaunt yourself as someone who has experienced it on your children. As parents, the first thing we should do is to make a plan for our children\’s lives, but this plan must be very objective and not take it for granted as a threat to our children\’s lives. A colleague’s child was admitted to college, and she and the child had a quarrel over which major to choose. The colleague always felt that boys should study science and engineering, and they would definitely find a good job in the future, but the child preferred literature. , the child even told her that if she was not allowed to study in the Chinese Department, then he would not go to college. My colleague called me angrily and wanted me to help her persuade her child. In the cafe closest to my work, my colleague saw me and said, \”What\’s the point of a boy doing calligraphy and writing every day if he doesn\’t learn some practical skills?\” After she finished speaking, she glanced at me subconsciously and immediately said apologetically: \”I\’m not talking about you. Your writing is indeed good.\” After my colleague finished speaking, although I was a little angry, I tried my best to control it. It turned out that she had always been prejudiced against the person who wrote the article. Although she admired the person who wrote the article on the surface, deep down she despised the person who wrote the article. The person who writes. I asked her what she thought of her child, and she said helplessly: \”My child has to study in the Chinese Department, otherwise I won\’t be willing to go to school.\” I asked her why people who are good at writing and writing have no future. She told me that writing and writing had never been a career. My parents had told me since I was a childShe needs to have a skill, and she has experienced it herself, so she feels that if her children learn Chinese, their future will be very slim. After my colleague finished speaking, I felt a little helpless because she didn’t understand at all, but she always regarded herself as someone who had experienced it in front of her children. She always felt that the things she decided were the most correct. If you really asked her to tell her the reason, she wouldn’t say anything at all. She doesn\’t come out because everything is what she thinks. I once read a story about a pony crossing a river. When the pony was preparing to cross the river, the elephant told it that the water was very shallow, only up to its ankles. The squirrel told it that the water was magical and could submerge itself. When the pony went over by himself, he realized that the depth of the water was neither what the elephant said nor what the squirrel said. In the story, both the elephant and the squirrel consider themselves experienced, and both think that their judgment is the most correct, but this is not the case. Many parents in society are like this too. They always feel that their own judgment is the most correct and never consider other people\’s opinions. This is actually really sad. Really smart parents will never show off to their children that they have experienced it. When problems arise, they will communicate with their children as much as possible and try to persuade them on the basis of truth, instead of forcing their children with the so-called \”I am someone who has experienced it\” Do what you want. My friend Xiao Zhou is a very smart parent. Every time she disagrees with her child, she tries her best to communicate with her child. One time, the child didn\’t ask her for advice when he encountered a question. Xiao Zhou looked at it for a long time and still couldn\’t figure it out. At this time, the child said: \”Mom, I think this question may be wrong.\” Xiao Zhou was a little surprised by her daughter\’s answer. She looked at the question carefully and suddenly felt that there was something wrong. She told her child to stop doing it for the time being and go to school to ask the teacher the next day. Facts have proved that the child was right, and that question was indeed wrong because of the teacher. If faced with this situation, I believe that most parents will not solve it like Xiao Zhou did. They think it is definitely an excuse for the child not to do it. In their eyes as people who have experienced it, the teacher will not make mistakes and will definitely make a big mistake. Add a reprimand, but if you do so, it will only make the results worse. If a parent always prides herself on being an experienced parent in front of her children and never discriminates, then I think she is definitely not a qualified parent. The famous French philosopher Sartre said, \”Hell is other people.\” I think this is absolutely true. As parents, we always use our past attitude to hinder our children\’s pursuit of knowledge about the future. In fact, this is the real killer knife that destroys our children\’s will. It is undeniable that most parents\’ intentions are for the good of their children, but sometimes their methods are really LOW, especially when they flaunt themselves as experienced people in front of their children, their children will definitely be full of disgust towards them. Not only that, many parents not only do not pay for their mistakes, but also let their children bear their mistakes, which is really selfish. When something happens and the child is disobedient, they will not discuss it with the child calmly, but use their status as a parent to suppress it. If the child resists, then they will take violent punishment measures. I really don’t know such a person. What qualifications do you have to be a parent? Some parents are very sad. They are people who have been frightened by life.I am afraid and trembling all day long in front of life, because I don\’t have the ability to do things, so I can only earn resources by being a good person. Relying on an ostrich-style survival philosophy, they spent half of their lives safely. When they saw the loess, they mistakenly regarded decades of daily experience as wisdom. When a child makes a fuss, he says that he has been there before and that what he does is for the good of the child. In fact, if you do this, you will only harm the child and make him fearful and stop working hard in his future life. Fight for the life you want, and if that\’s the case, you\’re the one to blame. If a child is cared for by \”experienced people\”, I believe he can definitely live a good life, grow up slowly in peace, and live his own personality into the commonality of society. In the end, he looks like the same person. This is really very sad. . If you can, don\’t flaunt yourself as a veteran in front of your children, because this is not loving him at all but harming him.