Parents of junior high school students: If I had to do it over again, I would force my children to study hard starting from the first grade of elementary school

A parent of a junior high school student said that after his child entered junior high school, his studies became more and more useless. In elementary school, the homework was simple and he could help with it. After entering junior high school, there was nothing he could do. The child\’s grades are poor and his handwriting is poor. The parent feels very anxious every day, worried that the child will not be admitted to high school in the future. He repeatedly said that he regretted not pushing the child hard and demanding from him since the first grade of elementary school. Be strict. Parents really cannot relax when it comes to their children\’s learning, but pushing too hard or in the wrong place may be counterproductive. Take a look at how some parents force their children: Some parents, starting from the first grade of elementary school, require their children to write beautiful handwriting. If they make a mistake in a word, they will have their children copy it 20 times or 30 times! The horizontal line is not straight and the vertical line is not straight. It is not block letters. Rewrite it! Let the child cry and fuss, no matter what, you must let the child write well. If he doesn\’t write well, he will not want to watch TV or play. Some parents require their children to get full marks from the first grade. If their children get more than 90 points, they will give their children a look: If you make mistakes on such a simple question, you will be punished for 10 questions. It depends on how good you are. Don’t have a long memory! In fact, there is really no need to push like this, because it really does more harm than good. Think about it, if a child\’s learning process is full of pain and struggle, then learning cannot be a fun thing for them, and they will only avoid it. This kind of coercion can indeed achieve some results in the early stages, especially in the lower grades of primary schools. After all, children are still young and are quite afraid of their parents\’ authority. Even if there are 100 or 1,000 unwillingness or displeasures in their hearts, they will still Will cooperate with parents and not dare to resist. But as children grow up and their self-awareness begins to awaken, especially after entering adolescence, if parents continue to force their children, it will only bring two results. First, children will release all their energy outwards and use it to resist their parents, leading to a sharp deterioration in the parent-child relationship. The second is that the child turns all his energy inward and uses it to attack himself, leading to anxiety and depression, or even suicide. Forcing children is always a bad idea. If parents have to use coercion to get their children to study well, it only means that there is something wrong with your education method itself. So, is there any way to get children to study seriously and actively without forcing them? This is true. The most important thing is to enable children to develop good habits and internalize correct behaviors into children. In primary school, parents should at least let their children develop four good habits: the habit of independent learning, the habit of regular work and rest, the habit of self-management, and the habit of daily exercise. As long as parents cultivate their children\’s habits well, it is equivalent to installing an autopilot program on their children. They don\’t need you to guide them at any time, and they will not wander off the road. The formation of a habit takes a long time, in theory it takes 21 days. In fact, it takes at least more than 60 days for a habit to be fixed. It is best for parents to lead by example, participate in it, and do it with their children. When your child is studying, you can put down your phone and sit next to him and read a book. When your child is exercising, you can also exercise with him.Do sit-ups together, skip rope together, run together, and be good partners for your children. When your child has you by his side, he will be less resistant to doing things, be more able to persevere, and the final effect will be better.