Your first words after your children come to school are important

Every day after school, it’s natural for parents to be eager to know how their children’s day went at school. But how to ask questions is a problem. Things you shouldn’t ask 1. Is anyone bullying you at school? Parents are particularly concerned about their children\’s social life at school, especially when new students enter school. They are afraid that their children will be bullied at school, so they will ask questions like this. In fact, this kind of question is a very negative hint. The subtext is: \”Are you being bullied?\” It is very easy to give children the illusion that \”someone may bully me\” at school. In this problem, the child dwells on the social conflicts of the day, like a \”bullied person\”, which makes him have a negative view of normal interactions with classmates. It is normal for children to have conflicts, and we should believe that children have the ability to handle these things well. If there is really bullying, it is difficult to tell anything with such a sentence. Instead, it will let the child see your anxiety and worry about him. 2. Did the teacher criticize you? Some children are more naughty, and parents will worry about them getting into trouble at school, and can\’t help asking similar questions to inquire about their children\’s performance at school. This sentence also gives the child a negative psychological hint: it will make him feel that he is a naughty child in the eyes of his parents. Otherwise, why would parents always worry that they will be criticized by the teacher? Both of the above problems, to some extent, remind children of their unpleasant experiences at school and leave a lot of bad impressions on them about school life. 3. Have you done your homework? Previously, the Institute of Journalism and Communication of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences and other institutions released the \”Youth Blue Book\”. Based on surveys of students in various cities, the Blue Book sorted out the things children least like parents saying, and the number one ranking was: Go study/do your homework quickly. ! Especially when parents come home after school, the first thing they say is to urge them to study. The child will naturally be unhappy and feel that adults only care about his studies and homework. Just like when a wife comes home after a hard day\’s work, her husband does not say: \”We worked hard today!\” but coldly urges her: \”Has the meal been done?\” After a long time, the wife will also feel uncomfortable and chilled: \”My husband doesn\’t care about me, he only cares about himself.\” Both adults and children long for the love of their families when they return home, so children should avoid coldly urging them to study in their first words after returning home. If you should ask So, what kind of questions should you ask? 1. Is there anything happy that happened at school today? Some parents like to ask: \”Are you happy at school today?\” Some children say \”happy\” and the conversation between parents and children ends abruptly. When asking children, you need to change your questioning strategy, avoid some closed questions, and use open-ended questions such as \”What happy thing happened today?\” to guide your children to take the initiative to talk to you. If the child cannot tell, you can also share what you saw and heard first. Tell the child whether he is happy or not, and guide the child to express his day, so that you can understand his school life. Through this question, you can also understand what is good and what is bad in your child\’s mind, and help him establish correct values. 2. What is the name of your best friend in the class? why do youDo you like playing with him? When asking children questions, you should also avoid questions that are too big or too broad, such as \”What did you learn today?\” Went to play. When chatting with children, sometimes try to be as specific and detailed as possible so that the children can answer the questions. You can ask: What games did you play with the children today? What is the name of your best friend in the class? Why do you like playing with him? Which teacher\’s class do you like best in school? …The more specific the questions, the more parents and children can talk about and the deeper their understanding will be. 3. Is there anything you need mom’s help with today? Some parents may ask: How should I ask about my children’s unhappy things at school? You might as well try using this sentence, it can express your concern for your child very well. Parents should pass on to their children a concept when they are very young, that is: father and mother are the closest and most trustworthy people. You can tell your parents about happy or unhappy things, and you don’t need to worry about your inner pain. Bear it alone. Of course, try to remain calm when your child confesses. Even if he gets into trouble, don\’t criticize and accuse him too excitedly. If you overreact, it is very likely that the child will not be willing to reveal his feelings to you next time. Trust is very important between parents and children. Establish a close psychological connection, and your children will naturally not hide their little secrets from you, and you will not have to worry about your children being wronged and afraid to tell them. In short, when children come home from school, there is no standard answer to what kind of questions they ask. Try to make the questions positive and specific. At the same time, it’s important to listen. Some children will chatter non-stop with their parents even if they don\’t ask. Adults should cherish the moment when children talk to you without reservation, do not rush to interrupt children, and respond positively to children. This good communication model in childhood will lay a good foundation for future parent-child communication. If you ask the right questions and listen carefully, you and your children will become closer and closer.