Children with \”tidy rooms\” and \”messy rooms\” will lead two different lives 20 years later

Yu Minhong said: If the family is compared to a copy machine, the children are the copies, and the parents are the originals. If there is a problem with the copy, you have to find the root cause from the original! If you feel that your child has poor concentration, procrastination, and lack of self-discipline, you should reflect on whether you are not doing enough in any aspect. You must know that every word and deed of parents will affect and change their children\’s lives in a subtle way. A clean and tidy home can bring positive energy to children; a messy room can have a negative impact on children. The family environment not only affects the children\’s living habits, but also hides what the children will look like 20 years later. A messy home erodes children’s concentration. A few days ago, a mother asked for help in a community group. My child is in second grade and his Chinese books are missing. I want to borrow a book for my child to finish his homework. I thought that the bean bag had completed its homework, so I discussed sending it to her. When she got out of the elevator and saw her door open, her mother scolded her child angrily: \”Why are you so stupid? You can\’t even hold a book.\” The child lowered his head, sniffed, and looked aggrieved. The mother continued to nag, saying that the child had poor concentration. When he sat at the desk, all he saw was books spread out, but his mind was not sure where to go. He was picking his feet and drinking water, and he was wasting his time doing homework. The child couldn\’t help but talk back: \”I saw the Chinese language book on the sofa yesterday. You must have taken it away. You always make the house a mess.\” After listening to the child, I glanced at the living room. There are shoes here and there at the door, leftover biscuit bags thrown on the floor, large and small paper boxes piled on the table, dirty clothes on the armrest of the sofa like a mountain… I have to say, the child\’s bad habits , are all raised by the family environment. It is no exaggeration to say that a messy home environment seriously erodes children\’s concentration. Psychologist Baumeister proposed a famous theory: ego depletion. What it says is that when a person does something, if he has to fight against temptation all the time, he will feel some kind of psychological \”loss\”. This kind of damage may ultimately lead to futile efforts. Children\’s attention stability is very poor before the age of 6, and they are easily tempted by external things. If a home is littered with snacks, toys, and clothes, the child\’s attention will be easily distracted. Then when children are studying and doing homework, they have to constantly fight against the temptation of a messy environment, causing psychological damage. If a child cannot concentrate on homework and study, how can he have the ability to concentrate? As Hong Kong psychologist Esslin Terrighena said: \”Chaos can make people feel frustrated and overwhelmed, thereby increasing frustration and reducing people\’s concentration.\” Living in a messy environment for a long time will gradually erode children\’s concentration. It makes children more lazy and lacks enterprising spirit, and it is difficult to establish good study habits: unable to focus on learning, procrastinating on homework, and studying perfunctorily; it is difficult to persist in doing things, doing this and doing that for a while; messy work and rest, addicted to games, and often Staying up late… A messy home destroys children\’s self-discipline. I read an interview with organizer Han Ye-eun. She has been in the industry for 10 years and has visited more than 2,000 families in China. She put forward a thought-provoking point of view: whether a child is active and self-disciplined can be determined by looking at his home environment. byA former colleague of mine always complained to us that his son was very lazy, had no self-discipline at all, and loved to play games. Interestingly, my colleagues’ work was also unsatisfactory and they were criticized by their leaders many times. The progress of the work that should have been completed long ago was delayed again and again in his hands, and in the end he could only end it in a hurry. Later, we visited his home one time and everyone was shocked. Dirty clothes were scattered everywhere, leftover instant noodles were moldy on the table, and the dust on the TV cabinet was so dusty that you could feel the marks. On his son\’s desk, stationery was piled up in a mess, and the homework book that fell on the floor still had footprints on it! If the family environment and parents are in a mess, how can children learn self-control and self-discipline? There is a broken window effect in psychology, which means that if a house has a broken window, people will continue to imitate it and break more windows. For example: after parents finish eating, they throw away the packaging bag, and then lie on the sofa and check their mobile phones when they have nothing to do. Then, the children will follow the same example: throwing homework books everywhere, staring at the TV or playing games when they have nothing to do. After a child gets used to the low-level happiness brought by games and television, he will become more and more casual and perfunctory about learning. It is even more difficult to develop the habit of self-discipline. Living in a messy environment for a long time will really overdraw a child\’s self-discipline ability! On the contrary, if the home is well organized and the parents are self-disciplined and positive, the children will be more willing to maintain self-discipline, and it will be easier for them to develop good habits in study and be full of self-motivation. In our hometown, the family that first got admitted to Peking University for a master\’s degree had a mother like this. She is just an ordinary rural woman, illiterate. But she kept her home in good order, very neat and comfortable. Accordingly, the two children have always been neatly dressed and studied in an orderly manner since they were young. Later, my son went to Peking University and my daughter went to Sichuan University. This is how the children will look like 20 years later, hidden in the daily life of the original family. Because children\’s self-discipline is not innate and requires positive education and guidance from parents. Lazy parents cannot raise self-disciplined children. In a tidy home, children are more active and self-disciplined. Children from families with tidy rooms are more promising in the future. Harvard Business School once conducted a survey that showed that children with tidy desks in a school are often those with excellent academic performance and optimistic and cheerful children. I saw a news story where a Peking University student posted photos of his dormitory, attracting the attention of millions of netizens. Can you imagine this is a dormitory for men in science and engineering? The desktop is clean and tidy, with no unnecessary clutter except the necessities for study and life. Books for study and daily necessities are sorted into categories so that they do not interfere with each other. This is exactly what a friend of mine who has been a class teacher for many years said! She said that when she was a class teacher, she loved to observe children\’s desks and books, and she also discovered a pattern: those children whose desks are neat and their schoolbags are neatly packed generally have good grades. And those children who stuff their schoolbags into a mess are rarely outstanding. According to his theory: the drawers are neat and the mind is clear. A messy environment gives children a hint of a messy environment. Children who are exposed to chaos for a long time will lack a sense of order and logic. When children grow up, they tend to scratch their beard and eyebrows when they encounter problems. There is an unwritten law in our familyAccording to the rules, the whole family should clean up together on the last weekend of every month! I am responsible for wiping and washing, my husband is responsible for cleaning and moving, and my son is responsible for picking up his own books, toys, and clothes. Every time after tidying up, my son would show off his bookcase to me. His precious books are all placed in the C position. Then he sat down at his desk and read a book. If parents quit ineffective play and pick up books, their children will naturally be willing to have fun in learning. Parents are active and hard-working to keep the home in order, and their children\’s life and study will naturally be in order. A clean and tidy home can give birth to a child\’s pride, confidence and self-discipline. Professor Li Meijin said: \”Before the age of 12, it is a critical period for the development of a child\’s personality. Whether the child will become a successful child depends on whether the teaching is in place at this stage.\” Parents must give their children the right education while they are young. Start by cleaning your home to improve your children\’s happiness and security. Give children a warm and clean family environment so that they can feel positive and gentle. When children are in a good mood, they are naturally more engaged in learning. A good environment is a reflection of your intentions and love, and your children can feel it. Your patience and carefulness towards your child will also shape your child\’s character. Let them focus more on their work and become better people. After all, no matter how good a prestigious school is, it cannot compare to the words and deeds of parents.