When dealing with adolescent children aged 10-17, shutting up is the standard, and companionship is the best. What is the best?

Heck, when it comes to adolescent children, it’s a really troublesome period for many parents. Although adolescent children still have to rely on their parents financially, they have begun to want to be independent psychologically. This feeling is like a time bomb planted in the house, and you don\’t know when it will explode. In the past, your child was willing to share every little thing with you, but now he shuts himself in his room when he comes home, as if he is avoiding you on purpose; he was so obedient when he was a child, but now he always talks back, as if he is always against you. How should parents communicate with adolescent children aged 10-17? 02First of all, parents must avoid a common misunderstanding, which is \”competing\” with adolescent children. Psychologist Stanley Hall said that adolescence is a transition period full of contradictions and hesitations, a period full of challenges. Children at this stage are beginning to mature physically and awaken their self-awareness, but their parents may not have adapted to this change yet, which can easily lead to conflicts and conflicts. For example, in the TV series \”The Big Exam\”, there is a child who likes animation and dreams of taking the art exam, but his mother is firmly opposed to it and even quits her job to supervise her child\’s studies at home and removes the child\’s door lock. Once, the child secretly drew and was discovered by his mother. The mother destroyed the child\’s painting in anger. The child couldn\’t bear it, had a big quarrel with his mother, and even ran away from home. Scenes like this are very common in real life. Why don\’t you close your eyes and think about it now, has it ever happened in your family? Some parents will install surveillance cameras at home, and some will secretly check their children\’s diaries and mobile phones in an attempt to control everything about their children. But these practices often strain the parent-child relationship. 03So, what should parents do? First, learn to shut up. Professor Li Meijin said that for adolescent children, what parents need to do is to talk less. The principal of the High School Affiliated to Tsinghua University also suggested that parents should cook more and talk less, so that the parent-child relationship will improve. A netizen shared his experience. He became obsessed with online games in junior high school and his grades declined. His mother also beat and scolded him at first, but later changed her strategy and stopped nagging her. She just cared about his life. As a result, he began to reflect on his behavior. Secondly, companionship is important. Many parents think that their children do not need them when they reach adolescence, but in fact, adolescent children need their parents\’ company even more. The book \”Decoding Puberty\” says that adolescent children need support from their parents. Take the writer Mai Jia, for example. When his son was in adolescence, he hardly communicated with his parents. However, the Mai family did not give up. They kept company with their son, cooking and walking together, slowly bringing the relationship between father and son closer. In the end, empathy and understanding are key. What adolescent children need is the understanding and respect of their parents. Jorah Mikali, author of \”The Power of Empathy,\” said that without empathy, we cannot support and encourage each other. 04 In the movie \”Bottom Girl\”, the girl\’s mother is very empathetic. When her daughter collapsed because of poor grades, her mother did not blame her, but gently comforted her, which made her daughter feel understood and supported. Adolescent children aged 10-17 often have their own anxieties and needs behind their behaviors. For example, if a child complains about an exam, he may be worried about poor grades.Or fear of parental blame. Parents must learn to understand these subtexts, accept their children\’s problems, and actively respond to their needs. Adolescence is an important stage in a child\’s growth, and it is also a test for parents. Only by mastering the correct method can we help children grow better. Remember, winning a child\’s heart is more important than winning the child.