Adolescent children often say they want to die. How should parents respond?

Some adolescent children often say that they want to die, that life is boring and they might as well just die. Hearing what their children said, parents were really worried, distressed and angry. Some parents will rush to comfort: How can you think so? There are many beautiful things in this world that you haven’t experienced yet. Some parents subconsciously avoid it and comfort themselves: What does a child know? It\’s just too pretentious. Don\’t worry about him, he won\’t dare to die. Some parents will regard it as a threat to themselves: Who are you trying to scare if you talk about life and death all day long? Some parents themselves are facing collapse and will compete with their children: \”I want to die together, I have had enough of this life.\” 02 What these coping methods have in common is that they understand death too honestly—understanding \”death\” in a completely literal sense. It sounds like death is a very clear thing, but in fact, death means something different to each child. For some children, death means relief. Trapped in a heavy and boring life every day, over and over again, he felt that life was meaningless and he saw no hope. Only death can take him away from his current life. For some children, death means freedom. Because in real life, there are too many expectations and restrictions, too many musts and shoulds. He needs to walk on the established and only track, cannot deviate from the direction, and must continue to grow old. Therefore, for him, death is the greatest freedom, free will, and he can arrange his life according to his own wishes. For some children, death is a cry for help. Because crying, being rebellious, and causing trouble don\’t work. Although parents worry about their children, they are never able to truly understand their children and see their deepest needs. Therefore, children can only call their parents in the most extreme way: Please see me, please love me, okay? For some children, death means despair and revenge against their parents. Don\’t you care about me? Aren’t you beating me and scolding me every day and hating me for not being able to make steel? Since you don\’t care about me, then forget about my death. Maybe my death will make you feel a little guilty. For some children, death means leaving a clean world and no longer causing trouble to their families. Such children have a very low sense of self-worth and think that they are worthless and have no value in life. They are little with him and little without him, so they can just disappear quietly and no one will care anyway. …The above is not exhaustive, and some children\’s \”wanting to die\” does not have a single motive, but a combination of multiple meanings. 03 Therefore, when a child says he wants to die, don’t get confused and don’t rush to eliminate the child’s thoughts. Calm down your mind first, sit down, and have a good chat with your child: What does death mean to you? Why do you think about death? Have you ever thought about how to die? Have you had any specific thoughts and actions? Have you ever thought about what it will be like after death? When do you think about death? When do you think less of it? Explore it in as much detail as possible. Perhaps you have never had such a candid conversation about such a topic. No judgment, no preaching, just one life\’s curiosity about another life, and listening with your heart. As you chat, you and your child mayYou will find: you are talking about death, but not just death. Children are using \”wanting to die\” to express their inner difficulties and difficulties in life. He couldn\’t express these difficulties and difficulties, and he couldn\’t escape from them, so he couldn\’t help but take action and express them in the most intense way. What we really have to deal with is these things. Please always remember: when a child says he wants to die, he often does not want to end his life, but wants to end his pain. ‍‍‍So, when a child says he wants to die, don’t be frightened by this word. Treat it as the child’s highest level signal for help. Calm your mind and take a good look. What’s wrong with the child? This also places higher demands on parents – you need to re-examine yourself and the parent-child relationship; you need a more mature mind, smarter insights, and more flexible responses in order to truly see and help your children. Therefore, when a child says that he no longer wants to live, perhaps this is an invitation from the child to you, inviting you to undergo a life transformation with him.